Love: Foreshadowing - FML

Foreshadowing

By JB. - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Somerset

Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 977

You deserved it 5 100

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Same thing different taste

By Myriam - 18/06/2012 16:05 - Maldives - Male

Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 862

You deserved it 3 408

By allocomrade - 29/07/2009 20:23 - United States

Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. She also confessed that she has been cheating on me with my best friend for 10 years. I appreciated the honesty, but was slightly upset considering we have only been married for 9 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 700

You deserved it 3 260

Lower your expectations

By AchievementUnlocked? - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my husband and I were talking about celebrities he finds attractive. All of these beautiful, talented, glamorous women were starting to make me feel very plain, so he attempted to console me by saying, "But I love you. You're attainable!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 743

You deserved it 6 650

Scary!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 225

You deserved it 5 883

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By Sober - 25/04/2023 03:00

Today, my wife, who has a drinking problem, looked me straight in the eye as she poured herself a "water" bottle to enjoy while at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 130

Stuck

By canessadawn - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Portland

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 803

You deserved it 2 581

So creepy

By anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my crazy ex-girlfriend legally changed her last name to mine. I'm getting married in a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 447

You deserved it 3 862

Sketchy

By Wolf - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Trinidad and Tobago

Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 880

You deserved it 2 469

Deal or no deal?

By toughlove - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years told me he had feelings for someone else. He also told me he wanted to continue dating me until things progressed further with the other woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 593

You deserved it 2 700

You snooze, you lose

By propose_you_freakin_coward - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I was insulted and harassed by my sister and her boyfriend, all because I proposed yesterday. They were angry I might get married before they did. They have known each other since primary school; I met my fiancée earlier this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 922

You deserved it 6 856

Next

Top comments

Egao_fml 8

Sunday 9 September 2012 15:55

What the?

greenie213 23

Sunday 9 September 2012 15:58

Past wives, future wives, midwives, good wives, bad wives, big wives, tall wives, fat wives, skinny wives. The list goes on and on!

Comments

onorexveritas 23

Sunday 9 September 2012 17:21

only? ... wow. he speaks so highly of you

jerry2011 4

Sunday 9 September 2012 17:22

Not sure about you OP. But some people need such reminders.

MandieL 27

Sunday 9 September 2012 17:23

I have to bite my tongue when my husband and I fight because all sorts is stupid irrational ride comments pop into my head. Sometimes they slip out but it depends on what the fight is and how mad I am. My husband employs the silent treatment and has once told me why. He Sais bad stuff too and would just rather not. It was a fight and I'm sure by the time your FML was posted, the fight was already done and over with and the comment forgotten about. Not an FML nor a YDI...kinda moot.

truckdriver321 3

Sunday 9 September 2012 17:31

Duh!! Man always has upper hand.

sweetly1120 6

Sunday 9 September 2012 17:33

Be like "remember hun, you're only my current husband!"

Rabidkid 14

Sunday 9 September 2012 17:52

Lol

olpally 32

Sunday 9 September 2012 17:54

Another FML with another asshat guy... Jeez :/

Hon3y_schnucums 1

Sunday 9 September 2012 18:11

You should have came back at him with "Well maybe your next wife will be Asian. Every dick is big to them." lol

saphfiire 13

Sunday 9 September 2012 18:13

I definitely said that a few times during my marriage. And during my engagement too. I tried to call the wedding off, and I walked away 2 months later. My XH was most definitely replaceable.

DocBastard 38

Sunday 9 September 2012 19:17

Gee, I'm glad to see you take the concept of marriage so seriously.

Rocky007 15

Sunday 9 September 2012 18:22

I always introduce my wife as "This is Mrs. Rocky007, my first wife".

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The Top

Today, I yelled at one of my employees for trying to discreetly slip out of a meeting, and demanded he sit up front so I could make sure he stayed for the whole time. Three minutes later, he shat his pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 1 283

Today, my boss sacked me because I only sold 3 cars last month. He made no allowance for the fact we’re in such a rural location we only had 3 customers actually walk in the door, and I sold a car to all 3 of them. That’s a 100% success rate. What else could I do, drag customers in? FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 71

The Top

Today, I went outside a friend's house to find that my car had been saran-wrapped. I cleaned it up and went back inside the house. An hour later, I heard the doorbell ring so I went outside the house. They'd saran-wrapped my car again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 547

You deserved it 5 910

Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 270

You deserved it 62 394

Today, I spoke to my girlfriend about how we don't spend enough time talking to each other, but she went on to tell me that we'll talk about it tomorrow because she wanted to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 227

Today, my best friend became my ex-best friend. I have finally gotten over the guy she stole from me a year ago and have developed a crush on another guy. My best friend called me today to tell me that she broke up with the first guy and is now going out with my current crush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 171

You deserved it 5 033

Today, my mom and I were escorted out of the KFC because my mom tried to mug and pick a fight with another customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 047

You deserved it 3 976

Today, I decided not to park in the parking garage on campus, in an attempt to save the $8 it would have cost me. Instead, I parked in a surface lot (about a mile away) and got a $50 parking ticket for not having a permit to park there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 501

You deserved it 43 157