Cute and Kids: Genius

Genius

By ohno - 13/07/2011 04:43 - United States

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied, "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 460

You deserved it 7 092

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Same thing different taste

Nose job

By pignose - 05/09/2019 02:01

Today, I was babysitting for a new family. The youngest said, "Wow! You have huge nostrils!" She noticed my offended look and pushed her nose up like a pig's, saying, "It’s okay! Now I do too!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 571

You deserved it 232

That's awkward

By Dannotmann - 04/05/2021 22:01

Today, I took my wife and our 6 year-old son to a company party. Sometimes I take my son to work with me, so he knows my coworkers. One of them walked over and introduces herself to my wife, and my son says, "Yeah, they go to into the bathroom together all the time during break!"’ Thanks, son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 3 489

By Wraith - 06/11/2013 17:27 - Canada - Holland Landing

Today, because I'm tall enough to see over the cubicle walls at work, I witnessed my 50-year-old co-worker pulling his finger out of his nose and immediately popping it into his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 702

You deserved it 4 803

Gross

By Anonyme - 26/06/2015 00:40 - France - Géanges

Today, our 8-month-old son had a big cold and his nose was blocked. I couldn't find the baby nose pump in it's usual place, so I went to ask my husband. He had it in his hand, and was using to decorate the cake that was going to be served to tonight's guests, my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 515

You deserved it 2 624

By Viciousvixen_21 - 02/04/2011 07:35 - United States

Today, I asked my 2 year old son to clean up his toys. When I bent down to give him a good job kiss afterwards, he punched me in the nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 670

You deserved it 12 246

By Bailey - 05/04/2011 04:04 - Canada

Today, my four year old daughter came up to me with her finger in her ear. She then let me know that her earwax tasted better than the dinner I made. In front of my whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 470

You deserved it 6 724

By unattractive - 18/12/2010 09:32 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick his nose for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 538

You deserved it 6 364

Goldmining

By Anonymous - 22/09/2021 08:00

Today, about a minute after telling my son not to pick his nose, he caught me picking mine. This has led to a cascade of, "Why should I follow dad's rules when even dad doesn’t follow dad rules?" He now questions everything I tell him, and is breaking every rule in the book to make his point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 231

You deserved it 1 506

By jamjamy - 26/12/2008 04:53 - France

Today, at work as an optician, I gave a little girl a new pair of glasses and asked her if she could see better with them. She replied, "Oh, yeah, you've got two big zits on your nose!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 038

You deserved it 2 634

Caught in 4K

By buggermonster - 16/06/2009 23:37 - United States

Today, while I was at my girlfriend's parents' house for dinner, and I thought no one was looking, I picked my nose and put it underneath my chair. Turns out she has a little brother who found it appropriate to point at me and scream, "Booger monster, Booger monster!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 733

You deserved it 76 862

YacL 15

Wednesday 13 July 2011 12:07

Suddenly, it all makes sense.

krez 20

Wednesday 13 July 2011 12:05

I guess you didn't know that already? Your kid is smart!

Comments

Midrash 5

Wednesday 13 July 2011 12:57

omg! how dare he say that? this will definitely cost u ur job -.-'....

thwei 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 12:58

God damn that is cute.

vi3tno_romeo 5

Wednesday 13 July 2011 12:59

bravo!

nanaprincess 7

Wednesday 13 July 2011 13:18

keep in mind, that someday when were old and stuck in jank ass nursing homes, that this kid will be running the world.

jonathan6773 5

Wednesday 13 July 2011 13:26

You must be real proud of your son.

Moriah215 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 13:28

hahaha funny n yet cute never under estimate a child (;

Ace021 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 13:41

Smart kids. He must hav thought it through

Twan_skillz14 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 13:58

that is messed up but funny

vickill 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 13:59

lol good kids and thank you now I know why we have two holes on are nose.

honeybeex3 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 14:17

Thats not a "FML" moment. That makes me go aww. Screw you.

Keywords

Embarrassing Transportation Cars Relatable Work Mental health Awkward Social Media Love AITA Am I overreacting? Family Annoying Sex Intimacy Coworkers Poopoo peepee Health Dentist Dogs Animals Cute Sleep Shopping My ex Cats Clothes Job interview Miscellaneous Weird

The Top

Today, I'm at odds with my fiancée because a drunk girl approached me at a Halloween party and complimented my costume. I barely acknowledged the woman and made polite small talk until she walked away. Apparently, I was too friendly and should have shooed the woman away rudely and immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 97

Today, after years of training myself to crave healthier foods in order to lose weight, I found out that some of my favorite health foods actually aggravate my hypothyroidism, and indirectly reduce my metabolism. Broccoli and soybeans are making me fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 977

You deserved it 3 688

The Top

Today, while at a party playing Truth or Dare, I found out my best friend fantasizes about having sex with my 51 year old mother. The rest of the guys at the party then nodded in agreement and thus spawned a group conversation about how "screwable" my mom is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 703

You deserved it 3 556

Today, I went to a store to buy a man's thong because my girlfriend wanted me to. When I went in I also grabbed some lingerie for her. Thinking I was being clever I wrapped it up in a t-shirt so no one would notice and went to checkout. The cashier then called for a price check on the thong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 124

You deserved it 34 699

Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 371

You deserved it 47 202

Today, It took me over 3 hours to cut out little letters for an event I'm putting on. It took the wind less than a second to blow them all over campus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 672

You deserved it 16 388

These aren't beetles... This is Sparta!

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 122

Today, I woke up in the hospital after my sister saved me from "hanging" myself. In reality, my sister choked me because I ate her last chicken nugget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 654

You deserved it 1 432