Food, Addiction and Health: Gotta have it - FML

Gotta have it

By kp. - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I found ants all over my chocolate, but I'm so addicted that I just wiped them off and ate it anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 990

You deserved it 59 174

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Same thing different taste

By Funyearahead - 08/08/2016 12:44 - United States - Red Bank

Today, I found out that my new roommate likes to put candy on the floor, let ants crawl all over it, and eats it. Ants and all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 682

You deserved it 954

By YeahItsmecoolhuh - 17/02/2011 06:50 - United Arab Emirates

Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 558

You deserved it 4 987

By dannij08 - 14/01/2009 01:05 - United States

Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 430

You deserved it 43 473

Another resolution bites the dust

By Anonymous - 30/09/2024 00:00 - Germany - Seevetal

Today, I was extremely tired, so when I decided I wanted a snack, I went to the corner of the kitchen where the chocolate is, opened the garbage bin, and reached inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 299

By mary - 21/02/2012 15:33 - Australia

Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 854

You deserved it 9 140

By ChocoMilkManG - 03/07/2009 01:37 - United States

Today, I found some Nesquick Chocolate Milk mix in my pantry which sounded good. While making a glass, I got angry because not all of the mix would disolve. Frustrated, I downed the drink. When I finished I looked in the glass and realized the mix that wouldn't disolve was actually tiny ants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 274

You deserved it 17 992

Sneaky

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 14:00

Today, after losing a battle with ants in my apartment, I just pulled one off that was biting me in the vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 912

You deserved it 212

By foreveralone - 13/01/2014 01:00 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 241

You deserved it 7 147

Chip on your shoulder

By Anonymous - 28/08/2021 13:59 - United States

Today, I woke up at 2 a.m. and ate some chips that were on my nightstand, totally unaware that they were covered in ants. Now I have two swollen lips and my kid’s birthday party is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 1 131

By Heyme - 09/12/2008 13:50 - France

Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I bit into my pen and smeared my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 380

You deserved it 6 726

Next

Top comments

Freeze_fml 16

Monday 17 October 2011 8:25

That's disgusting and you should feel disgusting.

captainfalcon7 0

Monday 17 October 2011 8:27

I'm sorry this is just sad

Comments

TrollTrolling 4

Monday 17 October 2011 13:37

Ants? Do you keep your chocolate on the floor or something? :P

kristen69 0

Monday 17 October 2011 14:12

Ants can get on counters and in cabinets. Doesn't mean her chocolate was on the floor.

mj_ok 9

Monday 17 October 2011 13:38

Aww man! It's ok, I've seen worst:(

ZXDriver 0

Monday 17 October 2011 13:41

Nom nom nom nom

yrkamurka 4

Monday 17 October 2011 13:45

In Cleveland's words, that's nasty.

muzy 23

Monday 17 October 2011 13:46

Nothing wrong with a bit of protein on your chocolate bar. Clearly the others don't watch grylls :)

kristen69 0

Monday 17 October 2011 14:06

Nasty ass

meangirl83 2

Monday 17 October 2011 14:23

They actually sell chocolate covered ants... Ehh not that big of a deal.

alannah1988 4

Monday 17 October 2011 14:59

Did you forget the 3 seconds rule??

BWill9014 4

Monday 17 October 2011 15:09

Everyone talking about the 3 second rule is stupid... It didn't say he dropped it and then picked it back up right away and found ants on it... The fml suggest that it was laying somewhere for a significant period of time making it even more gross

Kristoffer 35

Monday 17 October 2011 15:23

No big deal. It's not common knowledge but ants are pretty clean insects. It may seem gross, but it's not like you're gonna catch something from an ant. Flies are a different story, they readily transmit all sorts of human disease.

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Keywords

Cats Animals Gross Poopoo peepee Relatable Health Kids Mental health Parents Creepy Scary Cold weather Miscellaneous Embarrassing Love Dating Tinder Work Cute Transportation Cops Awkward Crush Sports Teachers Education AITA Weddings Public freakouts Mother in law

The Top

Today, I once again had to apologise to a date for cumming too fast as they stormed out the door angry at me. I don’t get it, I’m in shape, I don’t watch porn, and I’ve even had therapy, so why can’t I last longer than 15 seconds before busting my load like an inexperienced teen? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 372

You deserved it 495

Today, after years of lobbying for a travel job, I'm finally in Africa. Everything I eat or drink comes violently back out both directions. When I don't eat or drink, I pass out. Essentially I have to choose between illness and consciousness. Hello, fabulous new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 249

You deserved it 6 923

The Top

Today, my boyfriend decided to piss in the shower while I was standing next to him. I did not mind, until I realised the water flows away incredibly slowly. I had to stand in his piss while the shower filled itself with the sweet odor of fresh urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 584

You deserved it 6 423

Today, I got into an accident and my car was totaled. My friends then took me out to a bar for a drink to make me feel better. It appears that the police officer I'd spoken to had kept my I.D. by mistake and I couldn't get into the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 431

You deserved it 4 070

Today, my brother's will left all his wealth to his second wife, while I get left his two kids and a small amount to help cover raising them, because his second wife isn’t mother material. Bitch, neither am I, I love my nieces but I’d go mad if I had to be their new parent. Leave me the money instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 264

Today, my gym teacher ranted about how the government should put all the death row inmates in a coliseum and film them fighting. I guess he lied when he said he only drinks at the weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 470

You deserved it 2 546

Today, I found my neighbors' cat that had bolted after surgery. Its surgical collar had gotten caught when jumping a fence. It's been 15 hours. I can still feel the life leave its body as I tried to save it. I still see the look on the young daughter's face as she ran out to find me holding her lifeless cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 438

You deserved it 78

Today, I let my daughter dye her hair pink. I got an email from her school stating that the hair color violated the school dress code as it's “distracting,” and she will not be allowed to attend classes until she changes it. We do school over Zoom. Not sure how her hair distracts on a screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 259

You deserved it 330