Intimacy: Great story, tell it again!

Great story, tell it again!

By BrianTheLion89 - 06/06/2012 21:37 - United States

Today, I got a lecture about being lazy and not being active enough for my age, which ended with, "When I was your age, I was out every night having sex with anything that breathed." Thanks Gran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 630

You deserved it 3 753

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Susan - 18/03/2013 08:59 - Ireland

Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 689

You deserved it 16 033

By anonymous - 22/09/2010 05:38 - United States

Today, my dad gave me a twenty minute lecture about responsibility and how lazy he considers me to be. He then yelled at me for not making his bed and getting his clothes off the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 908

You deserved it 2 545

By jaci - 24/07/2016 15:27 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I went downstairs to get a drink and overheard my grandparents talking about me. They spent a good 15 minutes double-team attacking me for my failings as a human being, mainly me not being married with children yet. I'm barely 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 068

You deserved it 1 142

WHAT?

By what the FUCK - 15/08/2012 22:52 - United States - Midlothian

Today, I worked overtime with three guys who never shut up about partying and getting laid. When I finally escaped the testosterone and got home, the first thing I heard was my grandpa telling my dad all about how he once fisted a girl to orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 351

You deserved it 3 282

By fuckoffgran - 01/08/2013 14:46 - Ireland

Today, my grandma told everyone at our party to stay away from me, saying, "Ya might catch obesity from her and become fatass porkers too." I complained to my dad, at which point my gran faked being inebriated. My dad rolled his eyes and said, "She's DRUNK, honey. Chill out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 503

You deserved it 5 708

Wisdom

By fiftyshardsofbroccoli - 26/10/2012 17:58 - United States

Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 446

You deserved it 3 062

By RatCityChick - 27/06/2012 17:18 - United States - Bellevue

Today, my grandmother said she's noticed that I've been very angry lately. She came to the conclusion that I "haven't been laid enough" and my boyfriend is "not doing his job." Thanks Grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 464

You deserved it 4 892

Mad beliefs

By Anonymous - 12/04/2009 00:20 - United States

Today, my grandmother gave me a huge speech on being abstinent until marriage. Being the honest person that I am, I told her I wasn't a virgin anymore. Instead of being mad and telling me I was going to hell. She asked me what my favourite things to do sexually were. And told me hers in detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 254

You deserved it 20 795

Kids grow up so fast

By bella - 08/12/2013 01:07 - United States - Edinburg

Today, I was babysitting my barely-pubescent cousins, and they started talking about giving blowjobs to their "boyfriends". When I got mad at them, telling them they shouldn't be thinking of that stuff, they said I was just pissed because I "haven't gotten laid." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 247

You deserved it 5 140

By yeah okay then - 03/08/2012 23:50 - United Kingdom - Brentwood

Today, I decided to be nice and pay a social visit to my slightly deranged grandpa. I ended up politely sitting through two hours of him lecturing me on how he "invented the modern tap", then on how sex is an Illuminati invention to "give sluts the STDs they need to kill us all". FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 980

You deserved it 2 122

UrCapsLockOn 12

Thursday 7 June 2012 8:54

plants breathe too how she manged to tap that ?? :S

xlord 27

Thursday 7 June 2012 8:54

apparently you burn a lot of calories during sex so she is right

Comments

twoslopoe 5

Thursday 7 June 2012 15:20

Damn...um how old was she when she did that? -.-

3040evan 2

Thursday 7 June 2012 15:59

For who ever thought sex is a good workout in truth you really don't burn that many calories. It's an average of 25-100. Just FYI.

krapula 4

Friday 8 June 2012 4:41

Well that's probably when you last only about a minute or so.

alpacaman 5

Thursday 7 June 2012 16:16

Just so you know, sex isn't a good workout. I can go to the gym and lift for 15 minutes and burn more calories than during an hour of sex

emo_owl 3

Friday 8 June 2012 7:32

But sex is way more fun

soad2014 7

Thursday 7 June 2012 17:17

The 60s were crazy, man! :P

batrob 7

Thursday 7 June 2012 18:40

You heard your gran, get out there

notepie 6

Thursday 7 June 2012 18:46

She's like the village bicycle... Everybody has had a ride!!! Lol

RedPillSucks 31

Thursday 7 June 2012 20:17

Everybody ride her, just like a bus route

superfire 3

Thursday 7 June 2012 20:36

Take some pointers she clearly knows whats she's talking about

MDTeddy 13

Thursday 7 June 2012 20:52

"And that is how your mother was born."

coffee_man900 16

Thursday 7 June 2012 21:43

OP's username is Brian, and is possibly and Guy. Pay attention now. OP said "Thanks Gran." Doesn't say Grandma and is quite possibly his Grandpa. Hello? :)