Work: Gross out competition

Gross out competition

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 429

You deserved it 4 058

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Symphony

By Anonymous - 06/05/2009 19:17 - United States

Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 486

You deserved it 5 202

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 06:03 - United States - Demorest

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 043

You deserved it 3 908

Put the booze down

By Anonymous - 13/08/2020 14:01

Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 2 081

Leaked

By Morgan Bailey - 18/09/2018 14:00

Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 743

You deserved it 893

Hiking is so much fun!

By Sacho - 24/10/2019 20:00

Today, 4 miles into a mountain hike with my crush, I suddenly felt a stomach pain, followed by the urge for explosive diarrhea. I had to stand still with my butt clenched to prevent shitting myself. There were no nearby bathrooms, and I didn't have any toilet paper. It was messy. She'll never see me the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 801

You deserved it 171

By Anonymous - 12/02/2013 18:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 315

You deserved it 3 321

Like a dog

By Jick - 26/02/2023 14:00

Today, I was outside when I was suddenly overcome by an intense need to shit. The back door was locked, so I tried to run to the front, but couldn't make it. As I squatted in the bushes, my girlfriend came home unexpectedly. She screamed and called me a sick, disgusting freak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 773

You deserved it 294

By EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - 17/08/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 295

You deserved it 7 527

By kdeeeceee - 09/11/2011 05:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I had dinner at my boss's house. Just before we were ready to eat, my girlfriend came to me with a desperate look in her eyes. Apparently, she took a dump, clogged the toilet, and it flooded. I took the hit for her, and now my boss thinks I'm a jackass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 524

You deserved it 4 586

By GuillermoCJ - 22/01/2011 05:36 - Mexico

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house and had to go to the bathroom. While peeing, I had a cough attack. The cough shook my body, making me pee all over my pants. My girlfriend's parents just arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 120

You deserved it 4 705

007type 26

Tuesday 1 January 2013 1:28

Shit just got real.

rlr386 8

Tuesday 1 January 2013 1:31

Even though that sucks for you both, props to you for being a gentleman and letting her go first.

Comments

nikkinurse 10

Tuesday 1 January 2013 3:11

You're so sweet- she would never have lived that down

kzai 16

Tuesday 1 January 2013 3:18

True love

gameover18 17

Tuesday 1 January 2013 3:21

Like a SIR, but next time go outside.

allison70471 1

Tuesday 1 January 2013 3:30

A garbage can is always the next best place

junkman6 22

Tuesday 1 January 2013 8:12

I'm now imagining the scene from van wilder with pre med dick.

my2centsworth 15

Tuesday 1 January 2013 3:30

And they said that chivalry was dead...

wtffml1979 22

Tuesday 1 January 2013 3:43

The Shiites are #2

xsarax_fml 10

Tuesday 1 January 2013 3:53

aww that sucks. But kudos to you!! what a gentleman! I'm sure when yall are all better she'll thank you :)

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Tuesday 1 January 2013 3:58

Awww nasty. I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you don't go back there again and give them a bad review/complaint. Also, this is gross, but if you have only one bathroom, perhaps you at least have a tub or shower? Again, gross and not appealing, but cleanup would be easy. Hope you get to feeling better!