Sex, Gamers and Intimacy: Headshot! - FML

Headshot!

By Amb - 01/06/2010 23:56 - United States

Spicy

Today, I realized my boyfriend makes the same noises in bed as he does when he's winning in Call of Duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 073

You deserved it 6 199

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Same thing different taste

What a Q-tip

By Anonymous - 25/06/2013 16:21 - United States - Flowery Branch

Spicy

Today, I heard my boyfriend making the same noises while cleaning out his ears as the ones he makes whenever we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 545

You deserved it 6 494

By Noname - 16/02/2009 00:33 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 045

You deserved it 10 600

By Anonymous - 02/06/2012 10:24 - United Kingdom - Northampton

Spicy

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 250

You deserved it 32 739

By S…… - 09/01/2011 10:18 - Singapore

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 390

You deserved it 5 766

A good grunting

By Anonymous - 06/01/2013 13:06 - United States - Tampa

Spicy

Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 274

You deserved it 4 079

By atleasthelistened - 09/03/2016 08:04 - United States - Spokane

Today, I discovered my boyfriend listens way better in his sleep than he does when he's awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 547

You deserved it 2 451

By Hannah - 21/12/2010 17:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, my husband said that when we have sex he almost gets as excited as he does when he gets a chopper gunner on Black Ops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 062

You deserved it 7 909

By The_Life - 12/10/2016 13:26 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I'm staying at my boyfriend's house and things were getting heated when he got a call from one of his mates wanting to play Counter Strike. Next thing I know, I'm laying in bed by myself listening to him rage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 063

You deserved it 1 282

By Helseac - 17/12/2018 03:00

Spicy

Today, I noticed my husband makes better sex sounds on the toilet then he does with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 747

You deserved it 457

Heated gaming moment

By Anonymous - 26/11/2014 19:41 - United States - Los Angeles

Spicy

Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 140

You deserved it 6 809

Next

Top comments

shakenbake93 0

Wednesday 2 June 2010 12:10

There's really no difference between the two so I don't see why you care that much.

Ducati4623 0

Thursday 3 June 2010 1:46

so he shouts "**** off you 8 year old little camping noob tubing prick" in bed? - that's pretty weird or winning would be more like "**** off I'm 1 off harriers" - again kinda strange I guess

Comments

buggybeauty 0

Thursday 3 June 2010 4:39

YDI for dating someone who plays call if duty!

ryderburt 2

Thursday 3 June 2010 4:56

nerdsgetmehot. you are really fine! are you single?

findley 0

Thursday 3 June 2010 5:15

who doesn't ?

HISWarrior777 0

Thursday 3 June 2010 5:40

noob

brainonska08 0

Thursday 3 June 2010 5:42

that probably means he's enjoying it then, so what?

killpro 0

Thursday 3 June 2010 7:15

no one cares about that game

zacks14 0

Thursday 3 June 2010 7:59

How about a stinger or a javlin, 34.

batman8 0

Thursday 3 June 2010 8:17

who doesn't do that??? wip out that grenade, drop it in the hole, n let it explode. win

HinduSpartan 2

Thursday 3 June 2010 8:33

wooooooooowwwwwwwwew call of duty is not that great and if you play it and ditch your gfs like some of these kids; you're pathetic

GiRDEELU 0

Thursday 3 June 2010 8:55

Well duh, Call of duty is awesome ^.^

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Keywords

AITA Awkward First Dates Love Cute Dogs Animals Am I overreacting? Alcohol Relatable Food Health Thanksgiving Politics Family Holidays Miscellaneous Transportation Cars Sex Intimacy Cheating Suspicious Contraception Poopoo peepee Kids Gross Accident Gifts Birthday

The Top

Today, I was preparing a dinner for some business associates, in hopes of closing the deal on a promotion. I emailed them with the menu, in case there were any allergies. Hours later, I checked the email again to find that instead of serving Roast Duck I would be serving Roast Fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 123

You deserved it 44 805

Today, mid-sex, my wife told me to call her a nasty slut. I was kind of uncomfortable doing it, but I did it to make her horny. She started crying, because she didn’t realise how much it would hurt her feelings. Now I’m not sure if she’s mad at me or herself, but I’m scared either way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 740

You deserved it 280

The Top

Today, I was working the lighting for a drama production. In the last scene, two characters realize they are in love and kiss, then the stage goes dark. I mixed up my settings, and instead of a blackout, flashing party lights started going off. 300 people turn around to stare at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 533

You deserved it 39 448

Today, as I was putting on deodorant, I sneezed the hardest I've ever sneezed before. I ended up pulling a muscle in my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 062

You deserved it 601

Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Just as she took her shirt off, her phone rang. It was her mom, demanding she return home. Now I've been cockblocked, and my girlfriend's mom seems to be a goddamn clairvoyant. Awesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 328

You deserved it 5 796

Today, I had a long call with my crush, the only person I have been in regular contact with for the past year. He regularly calls me to check up on me, and really cares about my interests. I'm not sure if he likes me back, or is just being friendly, and I'm too scared to ask him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 511

Today, I received a gift certificate from my grandmother for a local bookshop. Considering how broke I am, this would be a fantastic gift. If the bookshop in question wasn't a right-wing evangelical Christian Bookshop, and I wasn't Jewish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 127

You deserved it 3 695

Today, my vegetarian girlfriend put some ghost pepper hot sauce on my steak to teach me a "lesson" about eating meat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 166

You deserved it 5 693