Hot and… greasy

By cortanaisahobot - 19/07/2012 20:29 - Canada - Toronto

Spicy
Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks 29 663
You deserved it 6 226
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Top comments

XtraEzeee 8

Of course he's serious. Bacon is no laughing matter.

344 8

Comments

LO388 7

People on here love bacon (myself included). Prepare to be destroyed OP...

45 3
strawberrywine22 30

Well, what are you complaining about? There is nothing bacon can't improve.

30 5
WiderWille 11

#24 you are the guy they never invite to parties, aren't you?

21 10
olpally 32

Awesome boyfriend! Bacon is pretty amazing! even better with sex... Giggity! :D

15 21
CVeNgineer 0

Everything is better with Bacon!

15 1
SkoomaKi 27

Bacon condom..... IT'S MY IDEA!! Nobody steal it!

63 4
GothicAngel95 16

Go to a condom company and pitch that idea to them now!!!

27 1
br0ccoli 14

Wait, so do you eat the bacon condom by itself or with the **** in it?

36 0
SkoomaKi 27

Me at the meeting with condom company: "Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you a revolutionary idea. One that will change the course for sex across the globe. *whips pants and underpants off* The bacon condom! It's slim and tasty exterior provides a soothing taste for the giver and also a cosy interior for the receiver."

48 1
dude1122332 9

I would invest heavily in that idea. You sir, or ma'am are a genius!

28 1
br0ccoli 14

Another idea: bacon foreskin replacement! Shoomaki, if you see the executives eyeing your privates and licking their lips, don't be scared. It's part of the process.

26 1
SkoomaKi 27

Don't worry I'll pork her good. Make her squeal for mercy. And after we go through all that. When we're all hot, sweaty and smelling of bacon. You now what I'm going to say? "You have seen the power of bacon. A tool of mass pleasuring. Now sell it." Only then will it be sold to the population.

34 0
snowsfalling 4

Dude... Greasy though.. Non greasy bacon condom? Extra crispy -w-

1 15
outoftown 26

But how will I get boyfriend's **** into the microwave to cook the bacon? All of him just won't fit...

0 16
MarisaCB 16

114... that was so bad. I mean, positively awful. It sounds like you're in denial, and compensating by posting the size of your boyfriends genitalia on the internet.

10 1
ASD_K 11

I will be allergic to sex if those are used ._.

12 2
MissMae93 23

SkoomaKi - I hate to burst your bubble, but bacon flavored condoms already exist!

5 2
dude1122332 9

143- I think he was talking about a condom made of 100% bacon.

11 0
KingCeltic77 18

Got your slogan. "Bacon Condom; for your big meat when your porkin it".

25 2
I_lost_the_game 25

SkoomaKi- I thought you were a girl until the *whips pants and underpants off* part

3 0
KingCeltic77 18

For when you REALLY wanna eat her out.

5 0
brohamas16 7

Well it's one good thing with another

6 3
CALLAHAN4 0

ur just jealous cuz he thought of it first

11 5
jakk_mehoff 4

eat the bacon then burn off the carbs with sex. I see no problem here.

21 1
gracehi 31

Bacon has carbs??? O.o ****!!! I've been doing Atkins all wrong!

18 0
Enslaved 36

Why wouldn't he be serious? He loves bacon. He loves you. He loves sex. Have some fun with it!

17 0