Intimacy: Hot and… greasy - FML

Hot and… greasy

By cortanaisahobot - 19/07/2012 20:29 - Canada - Toronto

Spicy

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 663

You deserved it 6 226

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/06/2012 10:24 - United Kingdom - Northampton

Spicy

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 252

You deserved it 32 749

By ch4nny - 29/08/2014 01:47 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 259

You deserved it 5 689

And they say romance is dead…

By BaconBreathBlonde - 30/10/2009 00:33 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 045

You deserved it 7 733

Kinky

By Anonymous - 11/08/2022 22:00

Spicy

Today, my husband asked if we could try food play during sex. I okayed it, thinking it would be the standard squirty cream or chocolate sauce. Let’s just say I was not expecting him to be eating crispy bacon and blue cheese sauce off my boobs. Good Lord, I married a weirdo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 211

You deserved it 534

By fuck no - 22/08/2015 10:18 - India - Kollam

Spicy

Today, my husband wanted to use bacon grease as lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 249

You deserved it 8 030

By confused - 28/09/2011 04:55 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 222

You deserved it 8 726

Dad jokes

By phoenix101 - 16/05/2011 05:40

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 021

You deserved it 67 211

By JK - 01/02/2010 00:24 - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he'd like to dress me in a squirrel suit and chase me through the forest. This was the surprising result of a discussion on how to spice up our love life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 969

You deserved it 4 731

That kidnapped kink

By georgiahick - 30/12/2010 14:09

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 830

You deserved it 6 109

By sissydlk - 02/12/2010 15:54 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 285

You deserved it 10 377

Next

Top comments

XtraEzeee 8

Friday 20 July 2012 1:17

Of course he's serious. Bacon is no laughing matter.

mike14991499 9

Friday 20 July 2012 1:16

You can't ruin sex with bacon, right?

Comments

Emily9352 13

Friday 20 July 2012 1:33

Seriously? YDI for not appreciating this genius idea. Bacon makes everything better.

br0ccoli 14

Friday 20 July 2012 1:33

What next? Ketchup and mayo lube? French fry vibrators? Polish Kielbasa ******? If I see those items in your cart...I'll know. -_-

dude1122332 9

Friday 20 July 2012 7:09

You'll definitely be seeing me.(;

pxndiieinsanity 6

Friday 20 July 2012 1:39

Redditor! Does he have an insane love of cats too? :p

godhelpusall111 12

Friday 20 July 2012 1:40

Bacon strips and bacon strips and girlfriend strips and bacon strips.

bjornhilda 1

Friday 20 July 2012 1:41

Drip some hot bacon grease on him!

Laxinitup 18

Friday 20 July 2012 1:43

All I know is you need to make sure your boyfriend doesn't turn out like George Costanza. He too once went down the path of incorporating food with sex. Doing so he finally couldn't distinguish between the two and would get turned on when eating... Just some advice.

Kingbreezy04 10

Friday 20 July 2012 1:44

Put that shit inside of your pussy and the rest us history.......

pwnman 33

Friday 20 July 2012 1:46

He's right I tell you! Instead of having candles use bacon

HickChick23 0

Friday 20 July 2012 1:47

is your boyfriend obese? lol

DarkDaedalus009 8

Friday 20 July 2012 1:48

Bacon makes everything better :)

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 21 647

You deserved it 2 570

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 280

You deserved it 4 019

Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex-boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 537

You deserved it 65 018