Sex, Inappropriate and Kids: Inappropriate, honey

Inappropriate, honey

By Jessica - 15/05/2009 00:03 - United States

Today, my 6 year-old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop "pretending to be daddy" against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 111

You deserved it 47 708

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Same thing different taste

In flagrante delicto

By Matasha - 19/04/2021 23:00

Today, my 5 year-old daughter and I had the displeasure of walking in on my husband going down on another woman. I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that it’s been 2 hours and my daughter won’t stop bawling, or the fact that my husband threw the biggest fit, because I “had to come home too early.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 387

You deserved it 136

By Anonymous - 15/03/2013 10:28 - United Kingdom - London

Today, while I was going down on my husband, our 3-year-old daughter woke up and started crying from the other room. He practically burst into tears too, whining that she was doing it on purpose to ruin his fun. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 941

You deserved it 6 214

By KittyKat - 03/11/2013 14:22 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 950

You deserved it 7 102

By Anonymous - 03/06/2018 12:00 - United States - Bellevue

Today, I walked in on my daughter making out with a piece of paper with someone from the cast of IT taped to her pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 698

You deserved it 539

By wtf bro - 20/05/2015 08:45 - Australia - Canberra

Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 209

You deserved it 3 638

Honk honk

By piemasterzim - 22/11/2012 01:20 - Canada

Today, I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs and said, "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to me, my daughter saw it. Now my 3 year-old girl runs around honking everyone. Even her grandparents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 058

You deserved it 32 014

By screwedwoman27 - 19/06/2011 18:03 - United States

Today, I told my five year old daughter that no, she could not have ice cream for breakfast. She retaliated by pooping in the living room and smearing it on the walls. My in-laws, whom I've been trying to impress for ages, are visiting today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 037

You deserved it 7 527

By abercrombieef - 27/08/2009 23:57 - United States

Today, my five year old daughter told me that while I'm at work, daddy has his wrestling buddy Melinda over. She also said that they wrestle on the bed so that they won't get hurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 803

You deserved it 3 972

Coming!

By Anonymous - 28/04/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife and I got frisky in the living room, completely forgetting we recently gave our adult daughter access to our home security cameras for safety reasons. The cameras didn’t see anything but she now keeps making fun of my orgasm noises, which apparently she found hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 577

By Fido - 06/06/2016 11:58 - United States

Today, my 3-year-old girl accidentally caught sight of me stepping out of the shower. Now she thinks "daddy has a tail" and she just has to let everyone know about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 492

You deserved it 1 549

EmbalmingTheatre 0

Friday 15 May 2009 10:23

O my god, **** your life indeed, how are you going to explain that to your guests. It's kind of funny, though *giggles*

24788 6

Friday 15 May 2009 10:33

What the ****? **** your life? What about your childs life who had to witness that. She's probably to young to realize what it really was, but man I'd have to cut out my eyes if that happened to me.

Comments

were_giraffe 2

Friday 15 May 2009 15:35

How can that be a ydi? hey parents have sex... people who dislike that... um, get over it. :-)

whomajigi 0

Friday 15 May 2009 15:39

At 6, they have the beginnings of the ability to listen to common sense. Talk to her about what she saw, don't be a parent who just doesn't bother.

Fanoodle 0

Friday 15 May 2009 15:43

Threating you daughter and say " If you don't stop doing that, we will take all of toy away" or something like that...but then again if you do that she will probably still be "DADDY" against the furniture...

GoMeat4103 0

Friday 15 May 2009 15:48

18. This isn't SAT prep. Therefore, nobody cares. Grammar isn't as important when you're being colloquial. Until people got uptight and annoying, grammar and spelling didn't matter. OP: tell her if she does that she can't have dessert. Bam.

Necrophile_fml 0

Friday 15 May 2009 16:04

I could satisfy her so she wouldn't have to do it with the furnitures.

Luneth101 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 23:21

You ******* pedo, she's just six years old! Get a life, and a girlfriend your own age! Not that anyone would want to go out with you!

lazorzpewpew 0

Friday 15 May 2009 16:06

That's hilarious! I couldn't imagine being one of those guest: "Excuse me, Miss, buuuut... what is your child doing?"

wildcherrybanana 2

Friday 15 May 2009 16:12

lol. i feel bad for you. and your daughter, she'll find out someday, when she's fifteen or sixteen, she saw you and your husband having sex. she'll freak. but she'll be glad it was when she was younger. i never ever saw my parents doing that. and i'm sixteen. and glad as ****. good luck with her...xD

Luce_Goose 0

Friday 15 May 2009 16:12

@ 47: ...Gross. and illegal. I walked in on mine... twice. Just happened to be coming home from school at the wrong time. I've been walked (broken) in on once, by a friend. With the door locked. Both cases, extremely awkward. Too funny for you though :)

BatgirlZKE 5

Friday 15 May 2009 16:15

YDI LOCK THE GD DOOR

Lizzi_fml 10

Friday 15 May 2009 16:16

That's pretty much your fault, YDI for not considering the possibility that if your daughter's in the house and awake, she could easily walk in. Good luck with your guests though ;)