Sex, Inappropriate and Kids: Inappropriate, honey

Inappropriate, honey

By Jessica - 15/05/2009 00:03 - United States

Today, my 6 year-old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop "pretending to be daddy" against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 111

You deserved it 47 708

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Same thing different taste

In flagrante delicto

By Matasha - 19/04/2021 23:00

Today, my 5 year-old daughter and I had the displeasure of walking in on my husband going down on another woman. I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that it’s been 2 hours and my daughter won’t stop bawling, or the fact that my husband threw the biggest fit, because I “had to come home too early.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 387

You deserved it 136

By Anonymous - 15/03/2013 10:28 - United Kingdom - London

Today, while I was going down on my husband, our 3-year-old daughter woke up and started crying from the other room. He practically burst into tears too, whining that she was doing it on purpose to ruin his fun. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 941

You deserved it 6 214

By KittyKat - 03/11/2013 14:22 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 950

You deserved it 7 102

By Anonymous - 03/06/2018 12:00 - United States - Bellevue

Today, I walked in on my daughter making out with a piece of paper with someone from the cast of IT taped to her pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 698

You deserved it 539

By wtf bro - 20/05/2015 08:45 - Australia - Canberra

Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 209

You deserved it 3 638

Honk honk

By piemasterzim - 22/11/2012 01:20 - Canada

Today, I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs and said, "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to me, my daughter saw it. Now my 3 year-old girl runs around honking everyone. Even her grandparents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 058

You deserved it 32 014

By screwedwoman27 - 19/06/2011 18:03 - United States

Today, I told my five year old daughter that no, she could not have ice cream for breakfast. She retaliated by pooping in the living room and smearing it on the walls. My in-laws, whom I've been trying to impress for ages, are visiting today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 037

You deserved it 7 527

By abercrombieef - 27/08/2009 23:57 - United States

Today, my five year old daughter told me that while I'm at work, daddy has his wrestling buddy Melinda over. She also said that they wrestle on the bed so that they won't get hurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 803

You deserved it 3 972

Coming!

By Anonymous - 28/04/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife and I got frisky in the living room, completely forgetting we recently gave our adult daughter access to our home security cameras for safety reasons. The cameras didn’t see anything but she now keeps making fun of my orgasm noises, which apparently she found hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 577

By Fido - 06/06/2016 11:58 - United States

Today, my 3-year-old girl accidentally caught sight of me stepping out of the shower. Now she thinks "daddy has a tail" and she just has to let everyone know about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 492

You deserved it 1 549

EmbalmingTheatre 0

Friday 15 May 2009 10:23

O my god, **** your life indeed, how are you going to explain that to your guests. It's kind of funny, though *giggles*

24788 6

Friday 15 May 2009 10:33

What the ****? **** your life? What about your childs life who had to witness that. She's probably to young to realize what it really was, but man I'd have to cut out my eyes if that happened to me.

Comments

melissasmile21 0

Friday 15 May 2009 13:31

i dont see how people can say thats funny. why were you having sex with your door unlocked and your six year old daughter walking around?? thats just stupid and unthoughtful. YDI.

boreddoubletears 0

Saturday 6 March 2010 1:35

Not all bedroom doors have locks... The only rooms in my house that lock are the bathrooms.

TheAwkward0ne 0

Friday 15 May 2009 13:49

oh my god, when I was 12 I walked in on mine... *shudders* but seriously. L.M.A.O. Haven't laughed so hard in ages X'D

likeduhhx4 0

Friday 15 May 2009 13:49

that is pretty funny, but you should have locked your door..YDI for that one though..

coloredwax 0

Friday 15 May 2009 13:53

Well, you might try, i dunno, DISCIPLINING your daughter for behaing inappropriately. The first time it's cute. When she won't stop, it's inappropriate and she should be punished.

besties06 0

Monday 16 May 2011 0:23

She's 5. She doesn't know what she's doing or if she's doing anything wrong.

save_me_08 0

Friday 15 May 2009 14:07

Hey, what if the happy couple and put their daughter down for nap and thought "she's sleep lets sex it up." While they're going at it, their daughter wakes up and decides she wants to play w/ mom and dad, only to discover they're...already playing...

iBou_fml 4

Friday 15 May 2009 14:17

how about to lock the door next time?

ladywaldo 0

Friday 15 May 2009 14:19

Lmafo!! That's unfortunate ~ but fortunately he wasn't eating you or anything that would be REALLY awkward for her to reenact!!! He he

ch_kisama 0

Friday 15 May 2009 14:35

lock your door and lock her in her room

PTERONOPHOBIA 0

Friday 15 May 2009 15:00

so tell her to stop, or else she's in trouble. not that difficult and if anyone comments after me going "ooommmgggg obviously youve never met a child in your life its impossible to get them to do anythiiiing," ...well that sucks for you guys who can't control your children. I take care of five and they don't go around humping shit.