Sex and Intimacy: Instructions

Instructions

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 05:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 143 574

You deserved it 16 446

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Waste

By Annie - 31/08/2011 03:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 819

You deserved it 5 301

Follow the script

By ufhdafuhds - 19/03/2009 23:31 - Egypt

Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139 397

You deserved it 14 503

Like a virgin

By chchboy - 22/05/2012 05:05 - United States

Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 153

You deserved it 7 122

By Anonymous - 15/01/2013 17:45 - United States

Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 792

You deserved it 6 662

By Confused - 22/08/2012 16:33 - Spain - Madrid

Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 771

You deserved it 4 419

By disapointed girl - 28/12/2009 16:58 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 015

You deserved it 5 893

Congrats

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 22:44 - Canada - Rosetown

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 822

You deserved it 8 593

What is it?

By Anonymous - 06/08/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 191

You deserved it 8 221

By petpeeeve - 11/03/2009 02:53 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in our relationship and it was great. He drove me back to my house and walked me to the door, then instead of kissing me goodbye he patted me on the back. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113 898

You deserved it 10 285

First time?

By Anonymous - 29/11/2013 11:56 - United States - Westminster

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 289

You deserved it 6 901

sLap_fml 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 16:09

i definitely don't think that's a fml, i think that's rather cute. he wasn't scared to say that he had no idea what to do, which means he obviously wanted to please you since he was asking you what to do.

LyuboLove 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 16:01

lol that would so be me on my first time although that's why we have the internet.... it helps a lot haha

Comments

TheEpicScrewup 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 1:50

109, LOL that's so hilarious! But I actually think this is cute, not fml. Hope you helped him out. I mean, everyone's nervous their first time.

Frlf 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 1:54

Get a **** video, and imitate them.

luigi23_fml 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 1:54

im in middle school 84. i in eighth grade and some of my friends lost their virginity, i bet i could do better than that

Rodjmeister 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 2:01

how...uh...old are you?

MarrymeNickJonas 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 2:04

i think its rather cute of him. hes deff. comforable around you to even ask you that. be happy

luigi23_fml 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 2:04

14, some of them are alittle old for eighth grade though

antoinette_hys23 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 2:27

-stifles laugh- that happens to a lot of my friends. Dont worry about it. lol

lolacaust 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 2:36

Hey if your not jailbait i can hook you up lol

msreese1992 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 2:52

thats sweet and has happened to me before but during oral lol

wholeon 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 2:59

I'm a dude who has never watched ****, and I live with two other dudes who don't watch ****. (We are atheists so I assure you it has nothing to do with Jesus.) Telling someone to "do like they do in ****" is really a horrible sex tip. **** is created to LOOK good (in a very close-minded way), not necessarily FEEL good (for either partner). You're better off reading a book or (no way!!) experimenting with your partner until you figure out what works best for both of you.