Intimacy: Kinky

Kinky

By LaLa - 09/01/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 779

You deserved it 7 876

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Same thing different taste

It's just a flesh wound!

By manhandled - 01/02/2012 18:05 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 156

You deserved it 4 025

By Anonymous - 30/12/2012 08:29 - United States - Inglewood

Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 912

You deserved it 44 397

By Darcy - 26/10/2011 06:58 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 563

You deserved it 4 579

By caligirl921 - 11/12/2010 06:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. When I orgasmed, my leg flew out and I accidentally kicked him in the balls. For the next ten minutes, he lay in the fetal position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 079

You deserved it 21 123

By Foxy - 05/02/2009 14:06 - United States

Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 333

You deserved it 26 876

By Toomuchisoutofcontrol - 21/01/2017 08:00

Today, I was going down on my boyfriend. I'm usually in control and do my own thing. He tried taking control and I ended throwing up on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 585

You deserved it 1 010

By Anonymous - 16/03/2012 20:23 - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 764

You deserved it 13 688

My pleasure

By never again - 29/07/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, a bit buzzed, I finally gave in to my boyfriend's request and gave him a rimjob. I was licking away when I suddenly realized what I was doing, leapt off the bed, and ran to the toilet to puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 138

You deserved it 450

Bad timing

By oh no - 29/01/2013 14:51 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 489

You deserved it 3 463

Cool moves, bro

By Anonymous - 30/06/2012 09:45

Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 364

You deserved it 5 691

deviable 9

Monday 9 January 2012 12:07

So since you didn't have sex I guess you decided to "hit the sack"? Eh? No? Ok then.

emvictoria 9

Monday 9 January 2012 11:56

I bet that's going to turn him of kinky stuff for a while.

Comments

kookylocka 0

Monday 9 January 2012 15:09

You could've wrapped them up in silk ropes

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 9 January 2012 16:14

Your boyfriend didn't know you were into klingon sex? Next time, it will be a batleth to the nuts. That's how he'll know that you really want him.

periwinkle95 10

Tuesday 10 January 2012 1:30

^What?

daminantion 14

Wednesday 11 January 2012 15:23

101, just no.

Acfuryboy 0

Monday 9 January 2012 16:38

Thats worse than a finger up the ass...talk about kinky

docscientist 9

Monday 9 January 2012 16:39

Wow, that escalated really fast.

MrNYC 0

Monday 9 January 2012 16:49

Dam you must of hit him hard... He should shoot you in the leg so you guys could be even

Mkbitch 2

Monday 9 January 2012 17:22

I bet he's a little scared of getting kinky with you again.

Lord_Nord 4

Monday 9 January 2012 17:28

Kiss them and make it all better...and hey while you're down there...

El_it_means_tha 0

Monday 9 January 2012 17:39

Hahahhahaha. Wow. In life somethings are Priceless.

Nice_Dude 0

Monday 9 January 2012 17:40

Woah how kinky lol jk

kickuwithmyfist 1

Monday 9 January 2012 17:46

No kids for you know!

The_Hitdude 12

Monday 9 January 2012 22:01

*now

Keywords

Cute Love Surprise Awkward Texting My ex Wanker Intimacy Sex Health Insomnia Sleep Mental health Cooking Food Kids Weekend Parents Pranks Annoying Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Technology Zoom Coworkers Argument Roommate Animals Cats

The Top

Today, I got absolutely hammered and noticed this familiar-looking chick. I walked up to her and said, "Oh my god, I know I know you but I don't know where from." Looking annoyed, she replied, "We've worked together for months." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 506

You deserved it 2 849

Today, my dad's boss called our house and I answered. He said, "Is your dad home?" I replied, "I'll go check." I put the phone on mute and asked my dad if he wanted to talk to his boss. My dad says, "Does that asshole not have a life?" Turns out the phone wasn't on mute, it was on speaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 356

You deserved it 42 739

The Top

Today, my phone fell in my cat's water bowl overnight. I'm currently writing this from my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 166

You deserved it 381

Today, I got home early from work. When I got home I got to see my dad chasing my mom around the house, naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 116

You deserved it 3 622

Today, I got a call from the county’s courthouse where I used to live saying I was being sued for fraud and expected in court to defend myself. Apparently, my ex took a loan out in my name and now I get to pay $2300 worth of legal fees and restitution to this loan company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 117

You deserved it 91

Today, my boyfriend came to visit me. He told me he was cheating on me, and that he wanted to break up. I was so angry that as he left, I started screaming at him out of my second story apartment window. I picked up a huge potted plant and shoved it through the window at him. It missed my ex and hit my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 031

You deserved it 49 351

Today, I had had sex while sober for the first time in years. It was really awkward, bumpy, and I kept on apologizing for being so terrible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 006

You deserved it 1 774

Today, my horse, who has been nothing but gentle for 27 years, kicked me right in the knee on my last vacation day. It's so bad, I can hardly sleep or sit down on the toilet. Tomorrow I go back to work, which involves lots of walking, sitting down and getting back up, as well as lifting heavy stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 757

You deserved it 193