Mental health, Dogs, Grandparents, Cute and Animals: Losing it

Losing it

By emegemerald - 04/07/2011 04:13 - United States

Today, I went to visit my great-grandma. I saw that her dog had this red fluid on his ear, so I asked my grandma about it. She said she put red finger nail-polish in his ear so she could tell the difference between 'all' of her dogs. She only has one dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 771

You deserved it 2 620

Halloween: Terror and Laughter
Discover stories that combine fright and humor for an unforgettably funny Halloween. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By KilteDKilleR - 15/10/2011 14:02 - United States

Today, I went to visit my grandpa. He has an easily excited dog, who barreled into my freshly broken knee. I felt my knee move out of place again. The dog chipped a tooth. We went to the vet first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 705

You deserved it 3 134

Yucky!

By theapplesleader - 23/12/2019 03:00 - United States - Washington

Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 569

You deserved it 3 825

By lean_mean_meme_machine - 10/12/2016 19:07 - United States - Tampa

Today, I was visiting my grandma who has a beagle named Max. He was so excited to see me, he jumped on my face and peed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 396

You deserved it 695

By Anonymous - 18/10/2014 23:05 - United States - Evanston

Today, I laughed at my grandma's chihuahua poodle mix, as it barked at me entering the house. "What are you going to do, nibble me to death?" is apparently enough to make it jump and bite me. I needed five stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 495

You deserved it 13 251

By CheeseMonsters - 24/01/2010 12:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to get my friend a drink while she sat in the lounge watching TV with my dog. When I came back, I found her licking my dogs ears. She said he dared her to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 479

You deserved it 3 439

By HotCurry - 05/09/2009 04:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend, her grandma, and I were leaving her house to eat lunch. I stubbed my toe on the door while exiting. It hurt, so I stood there shortly in pain. I heard my girlfriend's grandma call me a "pansy". I later saw blood and took off my shoe. My whole toenail had come off of my big toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 167

You deserved it 3 534

By Kate - 05/04/2019 22:00 - United States - Exton

Today, my dog showed me her latest kill. Too bad it was the stuffed animals my dead grandmother had given me as a child that had a lot of sentimental value to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 188

You deserved it 418

By sarahmaxine - 09/05/2015 04:10 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my girlfriend came over to meet my parents. Everything was going fine until she said she owned a dog. My mom then immediately attempted to check her scalp for lice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 578

You deserved it 2 110

By Anonymous - 12/12/2013 23:25 - United States - Santa Clarita

Today, my grandparents came over to visit. I'm still not sure if they came to see me or my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 440

You deserved it 3 379

By inosehowthatgotthere - 10/02/2011 01:12 - United States

Today, the woman giving me a manicure found a booger under one of my fingernails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 353

You deserved it 52 579

genesisnirvana 11

Monday 4 July 2011 12:03

she's old.she's crazy.it makes sense.

ambowew 7

Monday 4 July 2011 12:10

It's a subtle hint that you're the second dog in that household. I advise you to check your ear - I'm sure she marked you in your sleep.

Comments

Person1233 12

Monday 4 July 2011 19:53

AT LEAST I DONT HAVE ALZHEIMER'S!

wordnerd42 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 1:45

Nope, but you should check your hearing aid. You're yelling a bit.

EZ2XLR8 7

Monday 4 July 2011 20:07

Give her a break... she's old. Someday that could be you, we're all going to get old whether we like it or not. Be nice.

m0nicaa055 0

Monday 4 July 2011 20:12

wtf...

HeroOfTime13 0

Monday 4 July 2011 21:03

xD stories about seniors are always delussional and funny

BIEBERSLAYER 10

Monday 4 July 2011 21:51

is there nail polish on the coffee table too?

Archie92 0

Monday 4 July 2011 21:56

OP you're stupid. This does not fck up your life in any way, shape, or form. -_-

Rick_Rolld 0

Monday 4 July 2011 22:51

That's more of an 'FML' for her, and a win for you, because you can make fun of her.

Eorlas 31

Monday 4 July 2011 23:32

that is extremely dangerous and potentially fatal. she should not be caring for anything.

b00z3nw33d 0

Monday 4 July 2011 23:42

that is hilarious.

The_Commentor_ 6

Tuesday 5 July 2011 0:35

This is more of a Fu*k Her Life.

Keywords

Animals Cats Gross Health Relatable Poopoo peepee Parents Creepy Kids Scary Mental health Miscellaneous Cold weather Embarrassing Love Dating Tinder Cute Work Transportation Cops Awkward Crush Sports Teachers Education AITA Weddings Public freakouts Mother in law

The Top

Today, like a drunk idiot, I texted my ex to ask if he maybe still had feelings for me. He texted back that yes, he did still have feelings for me, but then he has a wank and the feelings all disappear down the toilet wrapped in a tissue. Not gonna lie, I cried myself to sleep clutching a bottle of Schnapps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 1 619

Today, a few days after I let my boyfriend introduce food into our sex life and we used melted chocolate, I've now got a UTI. I’ve never had a UTI before in my life, so I’m blaming him for the fact it feels like I’m peeing needles dipped in acid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 961

You deserved it 2 450

The Top

Today, my boyfriend finally got me to orgasm, for the first time in my life, after trying for months. He started laughing when I climaxed. I asked why. Apparently I look like an Down's Syndrome child when I climax. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 419

You deserved it 6 715

Today, I was told I've secured the job I applied for at my local hospital. Being just 19, this is a great opportunity, and I told my parents. They angrily asked if I'd applied just to get access to drugs, then demanded to know how I'd managed to pass the drug test. Thanks for the confidence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 384

You deserved it 2 931

Today, I was in the line at Chipotle and noticed a very attractive lady in her mid 20's. I deliberately took the table next to her and her friend and happened to overhear what they were talking about. They were both discussing how much diarrhea they were going to have when they got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 243

You deserved it 31 260

Today, I had a bad fight with my brother. He started screaming at me, then I hear, "Sam your mic is unmuted." The fight was about him telling my dad that I'm pansexual. I came out to my whole class and my dad. By accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 514

Today, my ex-boyfriend got high and decided to text all our friends and family the crazy stories about us. He was even nice enough to include pictures. I hear a nude one made it to my Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 097

You deserved it 13 518

Today, the job search agency that I use asked me to stop sending in my resume, as no one had hired me in three years, and that the situation was unlikely to change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 446

You deserved it 3 818

Losing it

Same thing different taste

Yucky!

Top comments

Comments