Work: Meritocracy

Meritocracy

By blue - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was put on notice at work due to my "anger problem." Apparently, sighing in a meeting means you'll be labeled as someone with a short temper. However, the creepy stalker guy is on the fast track to management. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 953

You deserved it 3 219

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Same thing different taste

Early warning

By Hreyes - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I overheard my boss stressing out over finding a replacement for me. I didn't know I was leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 019

You deserved it 2 228

Paranoid

By MaddyN - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Forest Grove

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 042

You deserved it 3 537

Team building

By Incompetent - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Pakistan - Lahore

Today, my boss admitted that he seriously regrets hiring me, but can't really do anything about it because that would make the senior management question his judgment, making him look bad. So he's just 'putting up' with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 215

You deserved it 1 398

So that's a no, right?

By SadMan - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to ask my boss for a raise. Turns out they are firing 35 people. I wasn't on the list until I asked for a raise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 873

You deserved it 7 467

Stoner in disguise

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Rowlett

Today, I found out that mishearing my boss and laughing at what I thought he said can make him think I'm high and nearly force me to submit to a drug test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 433

You deserved it 2 930

Dogsbody

By tee - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Kansas City

Today, I was told it was inconvenient for me to take lunch breaks, because someone else has to answer the phones and no one else wants to actually do any work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 893

You deserved it 2 027

Welcome back

By pixie_pix13 - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I came back to work after being out for a week. As I walked to the back of the store, I threw my hands up and yelled, "I'm back bitches". Right after I said it, I noticed my boss was behind me. I was then taken to the office and wrote up for foul language on my first day back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 3 430

Panic in the streets

By Insane Guy - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at work, I jumped under my desk in fear of a nuclear missile attack when the firestation next us let out its new awareness siren. I think I'm going insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 625

You deserved it 8 064

Bad hair day

By Tony - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I was fired for having a haircut that was 'inappropriate for the workplace'. I have alopecia. My boss told me to stop making up excuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 329

You deserved it 2 642

Piss off

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Sandown

Today, my boss sent me a message about a project, via WhatsApp. It's my day off, so I figured it could wait till I was able to give a flying fuck. Literally a minute later, he was spamming me, demanding to know why I'd left him as read and reminding me that he has firing powers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 350

You deserved it 1 618

ThreeSheetsGone 12

Thursday 8 September 2011 15:59

*sigh*

Fruit_Dealer 9

Thursday 8 September 2011 16:02

Double posts annoy me.. Good thing you can at least edit them.

Comments

aligiorav 11

Thursday 8 September 2011 16:12

Thats because creepy stalker guy is nearby when they need him

CTRL_ALT_DEFEAT 0

Thursday 8 September 2011 16:29

He'd be a good manager because of his "observing skills"

mrlopez 13

Saturday 10 September 2011 9:11

Agreed with this statement. It's how office behavior is, just don't let it escalate into office politics.

Hannah_grace1414 12

Thursday 8 September 2011 16:33

creepy stalkers know how to work the system d:

jerico616 14

Thursday 8 September 2011 16:58

Tell them you should have them pay for you to go to anger management classes, while you're on the clock! Hey, they accused you of it, so you should look good looking as if you are trying to get help. And if you can get paid to go to the classes, everyone is WINNING!

perdix 29

Thursday 8 September 2011 17:04

Creepy stalkers are not usually angry, unless their prey does something stupid like pull down their window shades. They are usually found masturbating happily, which is exactly what middle management does. You might think of investing in some sunglasses to conceal your condescending eye-rolls.

mike3775 35

Thursday 8 September 2011 17:31

If someone is speaking, it is inconsiderate to sigh honestly. I once got wrote up at work for "sighing" when a United Way spokesman was chatting, ans I do not like the United Way as a charity. I laughed it off. Just laugh off the punishment and go on with life, don't let it bother you and it will be forgotten about in no time.