Miscellaneous: Meth heads

Meth heads

By Noname - 10/03/2009 15:01 - United States

Today, a man in my town was arrested for hiding methamphetamine in a hollowed out walking cane and distributing it to the population of his retirement complex. That man was my 58 year-old father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 299

You deserved it 3 428

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Same thing different taste

By ahhahaha - 12/08/2009 03:07 - United States

Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year-old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 980

You deserved it 4 698

By nodad - 11/10/2011 04:52 - United States

Today, I found out my dad stole money from me when he was arrested for buying Oxycodone from an undercover cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 039

You deserved it 2 342

At last!

By thehumanshield - 05/08/2011 08:41 - United States

Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 214

You deserved it 2 808

Sneaky

By Anonymous - 15/06/2023 10:00

Today, I caught my dad stealing my money again, after I'd warned him he was on his last chance. I threw him out, since he’s been sleeping rough on my sofa. He reported me to the authorities for "elder abuse" and showed them fresh bruises I know the conniving old bastard gave himself. I was handcuffed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 968

You deserved it 94

Ironic

By Anonymous - 20/03/2022 16:00

Today, my dad yelled at me for using legal marijuana to help treat my potentially terminal cancer, which is kind of hypocritical for the man who spent significant portions of my childhood in jail for selling cocaine to rich high school kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 245

You deserved it 108

Far out, man

By shroomda - 29/06/2009 07:29 - United States

Today, I called my dad to wish him happy birthday. The phone was disconnected, so I called my sister to see what his cell phone number was. She then informed me that our dad was in jail for selling shrooms to teenagers at a music festival out of state. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 245

You deserved it 3 407

By Joe Lizen - 07/08/2012 01:40 - United States - New Lenox

Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 200

You deserved it 2 182

Sneaky dad

By say no to dick - 18/04/2014 22:56 - Australia - Newcastle

Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 746

You deserved it 43 597

Raincheck

By sadnj - 23/01/2017 15:30

Today, I was supposed to go on a date with my attractive and seemingly charming neighbor. Yesterday, his house was raided and he was arrested for running a heroin ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 391

You deserved it 415

The war on drugs

By Anonymous - 29/09/2022 12:30

Today, my dad caught me vaping. From the volume of his yelling, you’d think he caught me sniffing cocaine out of a prostitute's ass crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 1 203

jennaleighhh 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 21:28

your dads retired at 58??

littlec_fml 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 21:21

haha where'd you think he got your allowance money from?

Comments

crazydoug 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 2:38

YEAH!!!! METH!!!!

anynonymous_fml 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 3:25

Sounds like something Dr. House would do

crazyme123 0

Friday 20 March 2009 5:23

are you black?

morgannnnn 0

Friday 20 March 2009 23:59

this isn't reawlly a fml. or even that funny. and #41 i work at a retirement home & most of them take ppl in starting at 55 so that's not unheard of to be living there at 58.

JmD16 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 6:20

i think your father is awsome

HappyDalePomGirl 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 6:53

your dad is a badass for sure

mfcmaddog 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 3:42

WTF 58 and in a Home, jesus im surprised he wasnt planning world domination and building NUKES.

lexxi_fml 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 22:00

what's up with #19?? and yeah, it's no unheard of to be in a home at 58 years old. but this is funny (: Not FML but funny.

cmillertime7 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 1:27

#18, nursing home and retirement complex are way different. Everyone saying this is cool or awesome is extremely naive and obviously has no personal experience with methamphetamine or has had any loved ones deal with meth. If you had you would understand the severity of it and realize this is much more sad than it is cool. Although if you're going to be a tweaker I'd say old age is the time to do it.