Work: No excuses!

No excuses!

By davka - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I was fired from my job. Apparently getting shot is no valid reason to stay home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 976

You deserved it 4 905

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Top comments

khaya 9

Monday 18 April 2011 19:10

Stab wounds only accepted. Company policy, don't fight it.

cathylee22 4

Monday 18 April 2011 19:11

ummm wow what were you doing the night before that resulted in you being shot?

Comments

camking619 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 4:12

thats just a flesh wound... grow a pair

SwaggerMelon 6

Tuesday 19 April 2011 4:15

I see what you did there with fired and shot OP... nice one

chessyragoo 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 4:25

at least u ain't dead haha

lolwtfdidiread 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 4:43

-_-

emsiti 6

Tuesday 19 April 2011 4:44

if he was shot with a bullet fhl if a bb gun he diserves it they hurt and break skin can kill but rarely man up chump

drdna 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 4:57

thug life

siilvr 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 6:10

LMFAOOO

tada1234 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 5:32

well do you know who shot you? it could be your boss...

1970chevelless 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 5:32

lawsuit? id already be looking into it

Tempo9093 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 5:38

wow thats fuckt up

tcrunit 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 5:44

sue their asses for all they have

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Animals Dogs Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, I told my roommate that I was an atheist and she laughed. I left and returned to find her and her prayer group praying for my soul. She told me to accept Jesus Christ as my lord and savior. I said no. Then she told me to find somewhere else to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 851

You deserved it 1 041

Today, after about a year of keeping it a secret from my girlfriend, I told her about my foot fetish. She said "EWWWWWWWW!" and left. She's ignoring my calls and has changed her relationship status to single on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 572

You deserved it 6 604

The Top

Today, I was yet again denied food stamps. They think I make $1000 a week with only 25 hours a week. Each time I have to apply, they say, "We get that number from your pay stubs." They don't understand that those are four separate weeks. I'm sure it's illogical for a part time bagger to make $40 an hour before taxes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 306

You deserved it 119

Today, my boyfriend went to work instead of going to my father's funeral. He works at home and chooses his own hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 557

You deserved it 3 402

Today, I was making out with this guy, and I ask him if he wants to take my bra off. He has some trouble getting it off and says, "This is strange, I do it for my sister all the time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 161

You deserved it 6 330

Today, an attention-seeking weirdo who thinks she's my friend asked me who was going to be the maid of honour at my wedding. Knowing what she was really asking, I said I just want a small, non-fancy wedding without bridesmaids. She broke down into a sobbing mess in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 115

You deserved it 2 096

Today, I was having dinner with some friends at an Applebee's. I couldn't decide on what I wanted, and after about 10 minutes of me flipping through the menu, our waiter brings over the braille menu complete with gigantic pictures of all the dishes and says, "Here, I thought this might help." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 154

You deserved it 46 654

Today, my fiancé called off our engagement when my doctor told me that I was infertile. Apparently, I’m now “useless” to him. When I mentioned adoption, he basically compared it to suggesting Pepsi when you want Coke. Seriously? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 167

You deserved it 177