Love, Health, Sleep and Farts: Noise complaint

Noise complaint

By no sleep for me - 08/01/2013 07:44

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 405

You deserved it 5 735

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Same thing different taste

By Tired Girlfriend - 14/06/2017 22:00

Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 890

You deserved it 499

By Anonymous - 06/10/2011 15:23 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 882

You deserved it 11 308

Rude awakening

By Anonymous - 08/04/2020 23:00

Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 546

You deserved it 254

By byebyeromance - 26/08/2014 01:03 - United States - State College

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 314

You deserved it 5 072

By Wow - 11/04/2013 12:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 253

You deserved it 19 307

By hotboxed - 13/07/2019 18:30

Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 611

You deserved it 393

By Anonymous - 30/11/2009 07:37 - United States

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 785

You deserved it 13 979

By fartz - 31/08/2013 06:04 - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 520

You deserved it 8 107

By Insomniac - 18/05/2019 04:17

Today, and for the past four years, the only time my husband stops snoring while asleep is so that he can fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 811

You deserved it 189

By Anonymous - 01/04/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 732

You deserved it 36 358

Beakner4564 2

Tuesday 8 January 2013 16:17

That just made my day

jkmartinjk 16

Tuesday 8 January 2013 16:17

Earplugs? Also, noseplug.

Comments

billyz77 24

Tuesday 8 January 2013 16:24

Just stand over him with a sharp knife and an evil, maniacal smirk on your face. When he wakes up and sees you there, he will think twice about sleeping so deeply when you're around.

Catkam623 27

Wednesday 9 January 2013 4:42

God that's creepy wtf Is wrong with you that's not gonna make him reconsider its just going to make him reconsider having a gf

Yuuuuuuuutttt 8

Monday 14 April 2014 6:30

Yeah what a great way to become single in a matter of seconds.

Wizboy 17

Tuesday 8 January 2013 16:29

Well, you can't say, "It was quiet and the morning air was still fresh.."

Vinnie500 14

Tuesday 8 January 2013 16:33

Use a butt plug on him and cure both problems at once.

pieman528 10

Tuesday 8 January 2013 16:42

Physics 101, build up of gas pressure will lead to an explosion, we do NOT want that lol.

perdix 29

Tuesday 8 January 2013 17:47

#21, no, the fart gases are just absorbed in the bloodstream where they eventually sneak out of the pores of the skin. Buttplug users have a body odor that smells like farts. This is why they are not more successful in the marketplace. Charcoal-lined underpants are the way to go.

pieman528 10

Tuesday 8 January 2013 19:37

Honestly that was one of the most interesting facts I've heard in awhile lol. So someone who holds in their farts actually ends up smelling like fart?

perdix 29

Tuesday 8 January 2013 19:43

#48. I don't really know. I tend to make up a lot of shit ;)

pieman528 10

Tuesday 8 January 2013 20:56

Lol careful there, u might end up smelling like it too :P

birdcagereligion 10

Tuesday 8 January 2013 16:33

Go to a different room, or the couch! Lets hope you have a comfy couch.

loserman67 35

Tuesday 8 January 2013 16:48

Classic "Dutch Oven"! This guy is an artist, but instead of oils or clay his medium is methane.

buckdharma 36

Tuesday 8 January 2013 17:04

He was dreaming. You fell for his pull the finger joke, twice. This amused him.

poccocurantes 7

Tuesday 8 January 2013 18:19

You're pulling my leg.

123man 11

Tuesday 8 January 2013 17:08

Jam a finger up his pooper and when he wakes up startled pretend to be asleep. Do this until he realizes it won't happen if he sleeps on his side. If it turns out he likes the finger in the rear, then you've just expanded your sexual horizons as a couple (but you'll still have the snoring problem).