Love, Health, Sleep and Farts: Noise complaint

Noise complaint

By no sleep for me - 08/01/2013 07:44

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 405

You deserved it 5 735

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Same thing different taste

By Tired Girlfriend - 14/06/2017 22:00

Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 890

You deserved it 499

By Anonymous - 06/10/2011 15:23 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 882

You deserved it 11 308

Rude awakening

By Anonymous - 08/04/2020 23:00

Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 546

You deserved it 254

By byebyeromance - 26/08/2014 01:03 - United States - State College

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 314

You deserved it 5 072

By Wow - 11/04/2013 12:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 253

You deserved it 19 307

By hotboxed - 13/07/2019 18:30

Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 611

You deserved it 393

By Anonymous - 30/11/2009 07:37 - United States

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 785

You deserved it 13 979

By fartz - 31/08/2013 06:04 - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 520

You deserved it 8 107

By Insomniac - 18/05/2019 04:17

Today, and for the past four years, the only time my husband stops snoring while asleep is so that he can fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 811

You deserved it 189

By Anonymous - 01/04/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 732

You deserved it 36 358

Beakner4564 2

Tuesday 8 January 2013 16:17

That just made my day

jkmartinjk 16

Tuesday 8 January 2013 16:17

Earplugs? Also, noseplug.

Comments

mmaflake 19

Tuesday 8 January 2013 17:51

My hero

etchsanity1 11

Tuesday 8 January 2013 17:59

Sounds like sleep apnea have him ask the doctor about soft palette surgery or a CPAP breathing machine

poccocurantes 7

Tuesday 8 January 2013 18:17

Lose weight and quit smoking if he is a smoker. Had it myself. Got back in shape and it went away.

etchsanity1 11

Tuesday 8 January 2013 20:59

Yea those are good treatments if he has a weight or smoking issue ... It can also be a physiological issue that is unrelated to weight or lifestyle.

tjanus 2

Tuesday 8 January 2013 18:07

He may have sleep apnea and needs a sleep evaluation. If he does he is at risk of stroke and heart attack .

poccocurantes 7

Tuesday 8 January 2013 18:15

Nothin says lovin, like a good Dutch oven.

Spectre529 12

Tuesday 8 January 2013 18:45

Not sure if your BF be trolling, or purposely griefing you and the neighbors...

chronosphere 18

Tuesday 8 January 2013 18:53

still better than him farting in your face with your mouth oppen

simoncat 11

Tuesday 8 January 2013 19:00

Gross. You certain he is of age? He's not just a really tall 11 year old, is he?

simoncat 11

Tuesday 8 January 2013 19:03

What? The ol' "smothering with a pillow over his face" cure isn't good enough to try? I beg to differ...

MyS3lf 24

Tuesday 8 January 2013 20:20

That's not so bad. My ex had a similar snoring issue, he also outweighed me by 105lbs. One night about 3:30am or so, he was snoring as usual, and wouldn't wake up or roll over. I tried to roll him over myself, and just as I'd almost gotten him rolled over he all of a sudden threw all of his weight back at me in his sleep. This resulted in me tearing a muscle in my lower back which, 7 years later, still gives me trouble. Feel better?