Not a biology major

By babymomma - 14/09/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years almost broke up with me. Why? Our one month old's hair is growing in blonde, and we both have dark hair. Did I cheat? No. I had blonde hair as a child until I was 4... As did everyone else born in my family. I guess this factor doesn't count when you're paranoid. FML
I agree, your life sucks 58 017
You deserved it 5 696
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Top comments

Witchcraft_fml 4

Aw hell, this is going to start the "YDI, get married first" comments.

62 5
Optimistic9 0

You could explain to your BF that two dark-haired people could have a blond child due to recessive genes, or just get a paternity test and make his dumb ass pay for it.

41 1

Comments

greenrapsody 0

FYL. that really sucks. anyone who says you should have gotten married first is an idiot. I have tons of friends whose parents weren't married at the time, or just plain don't see the point of getting married. marriage does NOT legitimize pregnancy, a parent does. you probably are better off, because that guy was an idiot. either that or he's been cheating on YOU (cheaters are always paranoid their partner will cheat, and look for signs). but again, that really sucks. kind thoughts to you and your child.

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ozymandias_fml 0

Maybe you should have bothered to get to know the guy before spawning his crotch fruit for him.

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papertigers_fml 0

FYL. my hair was blonde until i was a teenager, and my parents AND brother all have really dark hair

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plexico 3

It would be funny if it turned out that your kid was a girl and your boyfriend left you because he was male, and accused you of sleeping with another woman. I'd almost expect that kind of logic from Florida.

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Witchcraft_fml 4

Florida, land of the old? I was under the impression you couldn't procreate post-menopause.

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I_am_stupid_also 6

How would you like to be the one to explain to a redneck that one of his genes is recessive?

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Intoxicunt 5

plexico and Kay, I disown you both. I'll go have babies with Triumvirate, aback, and allmidnighteyes. >:[

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Intoxicunt 5

Sorry! Let's make up. *Hugs* Mmm, you smell good. I'm from Florida, and I must say, the part I'm from has a low ratio of old people and is generally the best place I've ever spent time in. So *sticks tongue out*.

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Intoxicunt 5

Don't bogart that joint, my friend. Mercyyyy, come back. We made up. Now we have to make up with you! We appear to all be in the business of a literary version of ****. The men reading this should have to pay us. *Cough*, plexi, *cough*. edit: Lmfao. It is the same kind of screaming! The crying is identical too.

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Intoxicunt 5

I agree. Soon, someone is going to comment saying, "You should never do that again, and we can't talk about it." Tears of joy? If you say so. Just don't ruin me before I have a chance to have plexi's kids. Hey, that will make them Mercy's half-siblings.

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Intoxicunt 5

An entrepreneur, are you? Let's sell plex's jokes for $5 each.

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Intoxicunt 5

I think most people drive their car with the kid in it into a lake, or bury them alive. =/

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Intoxicunt 5

We can sell one of them, but the other is making babies for our master race. :) Sorry I was gone for a while...I was, uh...watching "videos".

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Intoxicunt 5

But plexi has to instill in the children his sense of humor! I know: We send them off to plexi-camp for the summer every year, leaving us lots of time alone. :) www.youporn.com Or were you wanting me to make my own and send them? Because I can do that too...

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Intoxicunt 5

OK! Sorry, plex, you've been voted off our island. We are living on an island, right? I like water and coconuts, but I know not to park under them. I can indeed! I just bought a videocam. :) Not that I WILL, but I CAN...

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fudrick 0

Hey, not everyone from Florida is stupid >__>

0 0
RazorFox16 0

I have never laughed as hard as I just did while reading your comments, KaySL and Intoxicunt...

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plexico 3

Kay and Toxi, Sorry I missed most of this afternoon. We had a family emergency and I missed most of the fun. Happily, all turned out for the best, but hanging out in a police station is not much fun. I may have harvested some killer material from my ordeal, though.

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allmidnighteyes 10

what just happened here? I feel oddly violated.

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plexico 3

Toxi, I know you are from Florida but clearly you are sui generis, whatever bad things anyone may say that are stereotypical of Florida or Tennessee, for that matter, dod not apply to you. I have returned!

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Intoxicunt 5

Mercy: I'm gonna SPANK you. Now you'll think twice about playing with sharp things (excluding me). =] You can still have the bike with the money from plexi's ********. Kay: Marry me. plexi: ...The ****? What happened? Hmm... Write me and tell (and you can't say no, because you brought it up already). I'm glad I'm excluded from these generalizations. I'd like to think I wouldn't be average anywhere I go. You're hardly the typical Texan either. I was gone for several hours as well, sewing. But I have returned to make sexy time with the people I was talking to, including you, Mercy. Yeah, I know you're my daughter but...you're irresistible!

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Intoxicunt 5

Chester? That's your uncle. Pssh, him and the damn goats. It's a good thing you're home. That goat is out there eating my marijuana!??? This should be a spectacle when it hits him. The attic is cold? Heat rises. Maybe it's the fact that we didn't invest in a roof. Yeah, redbluegreen can be your sister. She has to go through the initiation process, though. And AME is welcome to be your..um..uncle I guess, since he's her dad. He can't be directly related to me, though, because I told him he's hot. =O Your father is out carousing with other women and will be home later to beat us all. *Hands you a cardboard cut out of a bike colored red with crapola, I mean, Crayola*...

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allmidnighteyes 10

Toxi, we can make babies whenever you want. They'll be glorious. :D Mercy and myself will already be doing um... stuff... in the fort.

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Intoxicunt 5

Hmm, your requests are reasonable. 1: Fine, tarp it is. 2: Oops. You know that steak I served you? He'll never bother my garden again. 3: I'm sorry, I'm out of goat. I'll feed you though. Damn humans having to eat. 4: I'll distract daddy with my videos. No worries there. :) 5: Ok, just don't choke her. Does she have to eat too? 6: OK! *humps* I'll leave the punishing to Kay. She enjoys it so...

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Intoxicunt 5

OK, allmidnighteyes. My baby-maker is ready! Kay is gone, probably in bed, as is plexico. So I'm all alone tonight... =/

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Intoxicunt 5

The attic! So, basically our place. How convenient! You live here, so you can't bail when I pop out gorgeous, witty sextuplets. Edit: We have spammed the **** out of this post.

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allmidnighteyes 10

Attic it is :] -romp- Oh Mercy, you voyeuristic ****. You can join if you want. I'm sure Toxi wouldn't mind. ;D Orrrrrrrrr, we can move it to Mercy's super sexy blanket, pillow, and cushion fort.

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allmidnighteyes 10

I love you for the SOM lyrics. One of my favorites of the 80's post-punk/gothic rock scene. =]

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Intoxicunt 5

Whoa. What did I miss? I thought I was going to bed, but failed. Yeah, Mercy, you can join in, if you like Wincest. *romps with AME* Was the goat tasty? I saved his head. *holds it up* Who is this band you guys speak of? They sound good...but I've never heard of them...

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redbluegreen 40

HOW DID I MISS ALL OF THIS?! D: I feel loved that I was included in spirit. ♥ P.S. Alan and I are twins?

0 0
SuperMeme 0

lol, "your" is possessive. It should be "you're" as in "you are". Fail. GRAMMAR NAZI ATTACK!

1 0
keberTxelA11 0

aww dude u suck. I'm trying for minimum suckage.

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legendofdon 0

all the religious nutjobs that are saying "you should have been married" please do the world a favor and die without reproducing.

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I_am_stupid_also 6

Believe me, the people who are trying to raise kids without a spouse do not have time to post on fmylife to tell you how hard it is.

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Paper_Tiger 0

#85 Seriously? Damn I must have imagined posting all this time.

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Eltsc 0

Beat him over the head with a biology textbook. Hasn't he ever heard of something called "recessive genes"?

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Dragonmouth 4

Recessive genes. Do a DNA test and either get him back or get child support.

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themixedt4pe 0

FYL because your boyfriend doesn't understand genetics. See, it works like this: Brown hair is dominant, blonde is recessive. Both of you must have a parent or grandparent with blonde hair, and you must both carriers for blonde hair. There's a 25% chance that each of your kids would be blonde. Tell him to Google a Punnett square. If he's so damn paranoid you're probably better off without the ignorant asshole though. If he always accuses you of cheating, it's easier to him to "prove" that you are than it is to prove that you're not. Talk about the easy way out. Too bad you had a kid out of wedlock that you have to take care of alone now. If you'd been married, this wouldn't have happened. Not saying YDI by any means, just saying that divorcing you would be a lot harder than dumping you, and you could have had more time to explain or get a paternity test.

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RPGod 0

FYL, big time. Sue his ass. At least he's gone. He sounds like a douche

0 0