Animals: Nutritional goodness

Nutritional goodness

By homedoggieo - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was eating a croissant. After eating half of it and was about to take another bite, a spider crawled out of one of the holes of flaky deliciousness and descended down a thread of web to the table, where it scuttled away. There was a whole family of them living in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 320

You deserved it 4 134

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Same thing different taste

By somuchforthat - 19/02/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 704

You deserved it 2 518

By yuckspider - 20/04/2009 00:17 - United States

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 321

You deserved it 7 652

By pinkXpress1023 - 08/07/2013 18:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I had the opportunity to taste a live spider by walking into its web in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 121

You deserved it 4 989

Happy meal

By ollierocks96 - 17/12/2009 21:43 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch outside with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 558

You deserved it 3 026

Freaked

By AussieGirl - 21/11/2009 11:40 - Australia

Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 176

You deserved it 4 027

By buttercup92 - 31/05/2016 03:45 - United States - San Antonio

Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 954

You deserved it 1 163

By Arachnaphobe - 03/06/2016 22:14 - United States - Bloomington

Today, a large spider climbed inside my lunchbox while my mom was making me sandwiches. She didn't tell me about it until after I got home from school, though, and only because I mentioned a strange aftertaste in the sandwiches. She said she didn't want me to worry over lunch because she knows I hate spiders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 543

You deserved it 1 068

By HighasaCloud - 10/12/2016 02:38

Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 639

You deserved it 771

Juicy breakfast

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 01:01 - Canada - Warman

Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 160

Sorry, dude

By Aussie mate - 24/09/2020 08:01 - Australia

Today, I got up and started getting ready for work. As I entered the bathroom, I noticed a moth in the shower. Feeling generous, I caught the moth in a cup and took it to the front porch. I released the moth and watched it fly away… into a giant spider and its web. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 099

You deserved it 231

KiwiBlu 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 9:48

That is one of the most disgusting things I have ever heard.

JayCanDance 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 9:49

Oh my god. Thank you for the nightmares I'm sure to have.

Comments

kangaroo62 2

Wednesday 15 July 2009 18:30

well you just stopped me from ever eating anything ever again. thanks a lot

B00_fml 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 18:42

EW, EW, EEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

brasileirinha 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 18:59

Omg so...the way this was written was amazing lmao. Holes of flaky deliciousness...lmfao! That really sucks though.

moniescri 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 19:06

reminds me of the time i opened a Ring Pop and like a million spiders came crawling out, i swore to NEVER again eat a Ring Pop. but still, that sucks, id puke if that happened to me! FYL

garry24 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 19:11

this is so fake. first of all, you need to put them in the oven and there is no way that they could have survived the extreme heat. nice try bud

fxdxhk90 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 19:13

First of all, that 8 spiders thing is complete bullshit, you would choke on it. Secondly, you might wanna consider bringing a lawsuit against the bakery/ company that produced the croissant.

Melephant_fml 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 19:16

Oh. My. God. First of all, that's completely disgusting. And I ate a croissant this morning. If that happened to me, I would have screamed, and passed out. I have severe arachnophobia.

Grotesque 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 19:17

Protip: Never lick envelopes. Seriously, unless you want a repeat of the spider-croissant incident. Except it'll be cockroaches.

homedoggieo 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 21:37

By God, you've caught me! I should have known somebody would pick up on the fact that all croissants are consumed fresh out of the oven. I actually eat mine IN the oven, to ensure maximum freshness.

deathbunny256 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 22:27

If you REALLY want maximum freshness, eat them in the package before they're cooked.

such_is_life_fml 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 5:04

haha, At least you have a good sense of humour :P Seriously, though, reading this made me die/gag a lil bit D:

CyclonePsycho 1

Saturday 18 July 2009 1:48

lololol, homedoggieo, you're my favorite O?P so far. Seriously, who else replies so often and so hilariously. BTW, FYL. Spiders are terrifying. D:

18legalawesome 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 19:24

Oh dear god I love croissants. I'm afraid to eat them now :[

Moemoemoe_fml 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 21:25

Spiders lay eggs on all sorts of things, it's totally possible. (As a matter of fact, that's the only possible explanation for several of them to have been inside the OP's croissant. They don't normally live in colonies. They just hatched inside the croissant because it was so old and their mother laid the eggs in it.)