Sex and Intimacy: Oh yessss

Oh yessss

By Anonymous - 29/07/2011 07:24 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex, and it was my first time being on top. I got so into it that when I went to put my hands on the wall for support, the shelf above my bed snapped, with my favorite little cactus falling onto his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 787

You deserved it 10 731

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Same thing different taste

Sexy!

By troubleintoyland - 24/12/2010 03:03 - United States

Today, my fiancé and I attempted to have sex in my childhood bedroom. As we were falling onto the bed, I smacked my head on the wall, which caused a shelf of stuffed toys to fall onto the bed. Not only did it kill the mood, the shelf also hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 864

You deserved it 9 569

Sensitive snowflake

By onepussytwopussy - 07/03/2014 19:47 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 427

You deserved it 26 491

By Anonymous - 22/01/2012 18:06 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. When I leaned in on him, he fell over backwards and smashed his head against the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 623

You deserved it 4 102

By Anonymous - 06/01/2011 06:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. My boyfriend noticed that every time I'm about to climax, I hit my head on something. Whether it's a wall or his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 481

You deserved it 6 148

Heartless swine

By Anonymous - 15/09/2015 05:56 - United States

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, I got up to get some water. When I stood up, I fell straight to the ground, my legs were so weak. As I fell, I hit my head on the end table and knocked myself unconscious. My boyfriend laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 025

You deserved it 4 392

By Darcy - 26/10/2011 06:58 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 572

You deserved it 4 582

By fungettingdressed - 12/10/2010 12:57 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 944

You deserved it 9 090

Major romcom vibes

By staciedee - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 556

You deserved it 5 021

Sick moves, dude

By Anonymous - 02/09/2009 09:20 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a shower together for the first time. He was trying impress me and did some sort of dance move, he slipped, and when he fell he kicked my leg out causing me to fall and hit my face on the faucet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 405

You deserved it 4 241

By Anonymous - 07/11/2010 22:00 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 963

You deserved it 6 539

coltsrock37 15

Friday 29 July 2011 16:10

that'll spike up his sex drive

dre_bro11 12

Friday 29 July 2011 16:09

ouch! three-way with the cactus?

Comments

TheMasticater 9

Friday 29 July 2011 16:13

lesson learned: cacti love sex.

fauxyhaha 0

Friday 29 July 2011 17:47

indeed

ColtsDoug18 0

Friday 29 July 2011 16:13

I bet that got him to thrust even harder!

skigirl98 9

Friday 29 July 2011 16:20

like your picture? :)

Cheerleader05 0

Friday 29 July 2011 22:58

wish there nice picture.! lol

ambeeelove 0

Friday 29 July 2011 16:13

cactus needs love too!

IamVexatious 0

Friday 29 July 2011 17:02

They just gatta pay.

hoodasswhitekid 0

Friday 29 July 2011 20:39

cacti. just saying.

ambeeelove 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 4:38

I said cactus not cactuses. I'm from Arizona I know what I'm sayn

Igshmia 0

Friday 29 July 2011 16:14

Cactus *****?

EvilBetcha 5

Friday 29 July 2011 17:52

Ow. Just... ow.

IndigoFuckYou 9

Friday 29 July 2011 16:14

Forget horny, spiky's the way to go.

lolasains 7

Friday 29 July 2011 16:16

Cactus was jealous

nixter5 18

Friday 29 July 2011 16:17

What's with all the cactuses above the bed lately? who even does that??

LizzieLizz18 4

Friday 29 July 2011 16:54

THANK YOU!!! I totally agree!!! Its asking for trouble...

KennKenn 0

Friday 29 July 2011 16:22

Was the cactus shaped like his dick?

Saltime 0

Friday 29 July 2011 16:24

What the **** is wrong with you?...

KennKenn 0

Friday 29 July 2011 16:28

My dry "humor".

teh_uber_muffin 3

Friday 29 July 2011 16:32

By dry, he means 2yr old humour.

taelorrae011 0

Friday 29 July 2011 17:43

a two year old wouldn't have said that. try 8 year old.

fauxyhaha 0

Friday 29 July 2011 17:49

wtf ?

lol32360 0

Friday 29 July 2011 16:23

lol

Euphoriah 0

Friday 29 July 2011 16:24

Did he have to go to the hospital?

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You deserved it 7 104

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You deserved it 41 023

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You deserved it 5 596

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I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 205

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You deserved it 18 077

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Oh yessss

Same thing different taste

Sexy!

Sensitive snowflake

Heartless swine

Major romcom vibes

Sick moves, dude

Top comments

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