Sex and Intimacy: Precaution

Precaution

By Tai - 31/10/2010 13:30 - Australia

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 575

You deserved it 9 940

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Same thing different taste

I don't understand!

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 18:00 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 976

You deserved it 634

By ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 163

You deserved it 10 853

By fuckmuppeter512 - 04/01/2014 22:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 845

You deserved it 8 696

Some people are so... creative.

By Anonymous - 17/02/2018 06:00

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's pregnant. She'd told me she was on birth control, so I asked her to show me. She had been sticking the pills up her vagina like a suppository. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 410

You deserved it 1 586

Yeet it

By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 05:00

Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend is on the pill, and even though my girlfriend took emergency contraception, she became pregnant days after the first time we had sex without a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 356

You deserved it 1 148

Wrap it up

By Anonymous - 03/09/2023 14:00

Today, the one time, THE ONE TIME, we ran out of condoms and had sex anyway, my girlfriend got pregnant, even though she’s on the pill. I didn’t even orgasm inside her, I had to do a Google search to learn that live sperm can emerge and go inside her even before I orgasm. We are so screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 766

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 1 792

It's a trap!

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2009 22:58 - United States

I agree, your life sucks 636 786

You deserved it 798 453

By Anonymous - 20/06/2009 11:13 - Switzerland

Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 803

You deserved it 97 678

Not my turn

By Perry85 - 10/12/2019 05:00

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she says "Don't cum in me, my husband has plans for later." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 263

You deserved it 1 012

perdix 29

Sunday 31 October 2010 19:19

You're going to have shitty kids.

Paramorefan2 1

Sunday 31 October 2010 19:16

wow. that sucks. she's stupid.

Comments

allyisapenguin 0

Thursday 4 November 2010 0:08

YDI for not pulling out. lol. No, forreal..she just wanted to hit you.

Itzrenaynay 0

Thursday 4 November 2010 1:28

ur gf is a dip shit

fmlmang 0

Thursday 4 November 2010 22:21

condoms and pills are good, but you can still get pregnant doing anal

t0m_fml 0

Friday 5 November 2010 1:40

can I **** her?

felton 0

Friday 5 November 2010 16:38

Peta . LMAO . Her IQ Is probly .000036 . Or whatever the number was. LOL .

Lisa89 3

Friday 5 November 2010 21:08

firstly: ewww anal. lol; sorry; but that kind of thing defo isn't for me personally 2. And clearly she doesn't understand probability. 99% effectiveness of using condom, 99% effectiveness using pill; I'm going to guess 80% effectiveness from anal; 3/4 chance of not being fertile during that time, 3/4 chance of being naturally aborted after a few days anyway. I'm not good enough at maths to work that out as a probability... >.< 1/16 000 000 chance I think? 3. If she was that scared of getting pregnant.. she shouldn't be having any kind of sex anyway.

Lisa89 3

Friday 5 November 2010 21:14

1/8 000 000? more correct probability? I dunno... I wouldn't know where to begin to work it out...

mowmowlife 21

Monday 16 July 2012 1:51

0% probability seeing there's absolutely no way you can get pregnant from anal because the reproductive system is not connected to your anus.

pmr1990 12

Sunday 5 August 2012 12:01

Sperm are crafty buggers. There's always chances of a 1 inch spill...

zxpr0jk 0

Saturday 6 November 2010 20:29

Hahahahahaa. FYL: For having a girlfriend that stupid. YDI: For having a girlfriend that stupid.

ChiefLancaster 0

Monday 8 November 2010 11:04

You should of popped a viagra, and bent her over for round 2,, took that ass one more time, keep her around if she likes anal sex,, does she give ya a dirty sanchez afterwards??? Ya know straight from the anal cavity to her mouth?