Miscellaneous: Procrastination

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Procrastination

By Anonymous - 14/10/2009 17:01 - United States

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 129

You deserved it 16 740

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Same thing different taste

AKA taking a screenshot

By Anonymous - 05/10/2020 11:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 115

You deserved it 398

Faulty plumbing

By Anonymous - 08/02/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 118

By bglenney - 15/08/2013 09:47 - United States

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 947

You deserved it 4 191

Earthquake sneezer

By Noname - 27/01/2009 00:02 - Japan

Today, I sneezed so hard I herniated my back. After passing out from the pain I awoke on the floor covered in my own shit and piss. Unable to move, I had to wait in this state for four hours for my wife to return home from work, clean me up and take me to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 787

You deserved it 2 830

Too trusting

By Anonymous - 07/09/2023 08:02 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I tried to stifle a sneeze while on the train and instead shat myself a little bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 194

PTSD

By I have Flashbacks Now - 10/11/2016 21:15 - United States - Woonsocket

Today, while going to the mall, I witnessed the horror of someone sneezing and shitting themselves at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 415

You deserved it 912

How smelly is your piss?

By Anonymous - 08/04/2021 21:00 - Finland

Today, I peed myself in the dressing room after work when I sneezed. Someone else just walked in as I was trying to dry off my jeans with paper, and probably smelled that I had peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 156

Sweet release

By Anonymous - 14/12/2018 03:00

Today, I sneezed and shit myself in bed. It was the first time I'd ever slept at my girlfriend's house, and probably the last as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 821

You deserved it 396

Go big or go home

By kinwar - 27/09/2021 07:01 - United States - Hamburg

Today, I sneezed and peed myself while working out at the gym. FML

I agree, your life sucks 906

You deserved it 128

Sticky situation

By Anonymous - 05/12/2020 12:28 - Canada - Holyrood

Today, all was going fine until I had a tickle in my throat, which turned into a coughing fit. Only to cough for the last time and shart my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 886

You deserved it 148

chop_buster 0

Wednesday 14 October 2009 23:21

Hahaha, I'm an annoying twerp and shit.

hk_fml 9

Wednesday 14 October 2009 23:21

LOL xD the wording of this makes it even better.

Comments

Anonanimal 0

Thursday 15 October 2009 0:06

that's so disgusting. how do FML's like this get through

in_wonderland 1

Thursday 15 October 2009 2:35

uh...because it's FML. and fyl indeed, op! hahaha

lifeinhd 3

Thursday 15 October 2009 3:16

I moderated this one. I only let the ones I laugh at get through, and that last line sealed the deal.

ChronicFAIL 0

Thursday 15 October 2009 5:26

Because its ****** HILARIOUS! One of the best I've ever seen.. You would probably prefer the retarded FMLs. Search "candle". I'm sure you'd just LOVE those.

Haitch 0

Thursday 15 October 2009 0:14

At least it wasn't ended with "...in front of my fiancee and in-laws-to-be, boss, and every ex-girlfriend I've ever had." Unfortunate and a little funny, but man, could it have been worse!

radman 0

Thursday 15 October 2009 0:15

Rofl. Hilarious, but I hope it teaches you to keep a book in the bathroom or read the air freshener can like the rest of us.

Emperor_Jim 0

Thursday 15 October 2009 0:16

Ha ha, "Nothing in my life has prepared me for this". That sounds like a line from a movie trailer. NOTHING IN YOUR LIFE HAS PREPARED YOU FOR THIS. "THE SHITSTORM." IN THEATRES THIS SUMMER.