Poopoo peepee and Work: Productivity - FML

Productivity

By Anonymous - 24/07/2014 09:05 - United States - Cape Coral

Today, I got fired from my job. Why? Apparently, taking 10 minutes to take a shit is too long for some people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 714

You deserved it 8 904

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Same thing different taste

By a816090 - 27/05/2019 18:09

Today, I got written up because I took a dump at work that lasted longer than 5 minutes, and I didn't punch out for it as a "paid break." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 086

You deserved it 163

By constipated - 03/06/2017 02:00

Today, I was fired from my job for being constipated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 340

You deserved it 454

By dck128 - 29/08/2011 22:05 - United States

Today, I was fired because a 10-year-old shat his pants and couldn't follow directions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 629

You deserved it 3 077

By Tey - 22/12/2011 00:07 - United States

Today, on my first day of work, I got fired after 45 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 921

You deserved it 17 854

Not now, mate

By yuen - 16/06/2009 14:59 - Australia

Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 612

You deserved it 4 741

By Chloe - 20/12/2010 18:08 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my first day on a £600 a week job. I was fired for being 10 minutes late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 985

You deserved it 65 782

#notyourmaid

By Anonymous - 17/05/2018 01:30

Today, at work, someone shat outside the bathroom door. Not outside the stall, but in the actual hallway. Guess who got fired for refusing to clean it up! I’m a cashier at a tool supply company and the only female employee. Four dudes refused before I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 539

You deserved it 362

Unfair

By Anonymous - 21/03/2021 08:01

Today, I was let go from my job for not being able to come into work early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 978

You deserved it 150

By thesixth - 01/03/2016 19:07 - Kenya

Today, I got fired for being late. Apparently you're supposed to be on time after your boss specifically tells you that the office will open an hour late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 411

You deserved it 1 864

Stars of CCTV

By Guess I'm jobless - 10/01/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I nailed a job interview and they hired me on the spot. The only problem was I was bursting at the seams and had to poop really bad. After destroying their bathroom and taking my leave, not an hour later I got a phone call saying they're "gonna go a different direction." FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 226

Next

Top comments

nix1993 41

Thursday 24 July 2014 16:08

Who the hell timed you?

kelsorg 21

Thursday 24 July 2014 16:03

"fly by ***** are the only thing allowed around here!"

Comments

Polynomial 28

Thursday 24 July 2014 16:17

This is why employers need to provide enemas. Everything would run a lot smoother. Everything would fall and to place. Your job wouldn't be going down the drain. Butt seriously, that was a really shitty thing for your boss to do.

cryssycakesx3 22

Thursday 24 July 2014 16:19

did you fall asleep?

juturnaamo 29

Thursday 24 July 2014 18:37

I had a guy I was supervising do that. One hour shit. It was a night shift he was called into just to be present so I let it go.

Polynomial 28

Thursday 24 July 2014 16:19

How do you edit a comment with the app using voice over?

briang959 47

Thursday 24 July 2014 16:22

Maybe it's because you didn't spray or wash your hands after taking a poop and not the 10 minute poop itself.

clairebeargr 8

Thursday 24 July 2014 16:27

Ten minutes is too long...

SkittlesGoRawr 19

Friday 25 July 2014 0:43

I have a family member who tends to take about half an hour.

DArthurVaderian 18

Saturday 26 July 2014 19:35

That's not good...

Omegapi197 12

Thursday 24 July 2014 16:31

Sorry about your dumping experience.

ScottVining 21

Thursday 24 July 2014 16:31

I've mastered the minute to win it shit

rockman808 9

Thursday 24 July 2014 16:52

Dude stop texting and ********. Hey, better than driving though

rockman808 9

Thursday 24 July 2014 16:55

Dude! Cut that shit out and let's go!!!!

msunique_me 13

Thursday 24 July 2014 17:09

Aww well, seems like one 'shitty' situation!

Respect101 17

Thursday 24 July 2014 18:39

Everyone says this pun anytime there is shit involved in the FML. I'm pretty sure every one is tired of it by now.

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Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, during my staff Google Meet conference, I forgot to mute my mic when I joined and I was still listening to a true crime podcast. I started to notice people's confused looks and realized they were all hearing the details of the bodies found. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 044

You deserved it 1 085

Today, I was on my way home from a friend's house. I called home ahead of time to let my parents know I was on my way. My dad picked up and in a panting voice said, "Now isn't a good time, drive around the block for 15 minutes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 074

You deserved it 6 726

The Top

Today, my mom told my girlfriend an embarrassing story about me, along the lines of whenever my parents would take me school clothes shopping, I'd cry because I hated all the choices they gave me. The most recent incident of this? Last year. I'm 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 175

You deserved it 33 922

Today, I was at Target trying on swimsuits. I tried on a medium bottom and was so excited because it fit perfectly even though I've gained a few pounds. My self-esteem was at an all-time high until my mom told me I could never fit into a medium. I rechecked the tag. It was an extra large. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 198

You deserved it 23 045

Today, after a year and a half of sticking to my new wife’s “no-sex-before marriage” rule while we dated, she brushed me off while I tried to consummate the marriage. Apparently, she’s not ready to have kids yet and “semen will get the sheets dirty.” Guess I’ll be jerking it on my honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 693

You deserved it 768

Today, while queuing in a shop, a girl appeared to bunk the line. When I asked her about it, she said it was nothing to do with me. She then asked me what was I going to do about it, before kneeing me in the nuts. I was overtaken by everyone in the queue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 676

You deserved it 285

Today, I went to a concert. They had this feature where you could send a picture of something from your cell phone and they'd put it on the big screens, so I sent a picture of myself in. When the picture came up on the screens, the entire crowd of about 4,000 people went, "Ewwww!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 052

You deserved it 31 232

Today, I learned that you can pierce your balls. However, sitting on a thumbtack is not the best way to find this out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 527

You deserved it 7 040