Love: Real estate

Real estate

By John - 20/07/2011 16:38 - United States

Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 951

You deserved it 12 217

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By guess I'm stuck - 16/04/2013 07:23 - United States - Alamo

Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 035

You deserved it 7 737

By just_friends - 27/10/2010 17:19 - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said she wanted to stay just friends. Not only did I get denied, apparently we're also "just friends." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 352

You deserved it 3 597

By Brian - 20/11/2012 15:50 - United States - Sandston

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 302

You deserved it 33 321

By Anonymous - 28/03/2011 02:49 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years confessed that at first, she'd only dated me to get her friend jealous, and that even now, she "only kind of liked" me. I bought a ring only a few days ago, and was planning on proposing to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 944

You deserved it 4 148

By stopinthenameoflove - 19/06/2014 14:37 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 093

You deserved it 15 455

What just happened?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Bellevue

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 280

You deserved it 6 173

By longtrip - 18/01/2010 00:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I drove 4 hours to see my girlfriend of a year, as she had asked me to stay with her for a few days. When I arrived she told me she wanted to be friends as she liked someone else, but wanted me to stay the few days so we could work on being friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 125

You deserved it 2 421

Carrier pigeon

By Anonymous - 10/03/2022 12:00

Today, I sent my girlfriend a nice "Good morning" text after I woke up. Then I found a paper note stuck to my bedroom door, in which she broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 021

You deserved it 91

By Anonymous - 19/06/2011 05:01 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by putting a Post-it note on my locker that said, "Consider yourself dumped." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 827

You deserved it 4 683

Teenage PDA warning

By Bali_Boil - 16/01/2010 00:44 - United States

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house, and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home, and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15-minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 689

You deserved it 6 822

Iamnotmyself 17

Thursday 21 July 2011 0:03

I bid 20$

JiggaJayZ 16

Thursday 21 July 2011 0:07

I bid alcohol, fireworks, and a very large sombrero.

Comments

ilovedemexicans 3

Thursday 21 July 2011 0:12

oh damn that sucks. I'd cry lol

shift_love 13

Thursday 21 July 2011 1:17

yea that's ******* sad. I'd want to ask her to leave. but given his obvious heartbroken condition he wouldn't ask her to leave. biscuits cycle. women are pretty damn evil.

ashleyylove3 22

Sunday 3 November 2013 7:27

I'd cry if my username was "ilovedemexicans" too.

jaff23 11

Thursday 21 July 2011 0:12

Time to move on buddy

KatrinaKitten 16

Thursday 21 July 2011 0:15

Feeling's gone.

Wakepro21 0

Thursday 21 July 2011 0:38

you look cute with the darker hair:)

KatrinaKitten 16

Thursday 21 July 2011 0:49

Er..okay? Thanks?

KatrinaKitten 16

Thursday 21 July 2011 0:50

Sorry, didn't mean to sound bitchy. It's just, I don't really know you. You could message me if you really want me to reply..but not here..

codysz28_fml 5

Thursday 21 July 2011 0:54

I'd message you but not sure how, could you help me out?

Anthony8449 2

Thursday 21 July 2011 0:56

Hey do you play volley ball? : )

KatrinaKitten 16

Thursday 21 July 2011 0:58

/facepalm/

LolMoqz 10

Thursday 21 July 2011 1:05

what makes you say that?

icecreammintz 0

Thursday 21 July 2011 1:07

PEDO ALERT /

Anthony8449 2

Thursday 21 July 2011 1:16

sorry but my sister has a volly ball game trmmrow and I'd like to giver some pointers

KatrinaKitten 16

Thursday 21 July 2011 1:22

90, Yeah, I couldn't give your sister any more pointers than Yahoo Answers could. I only play for the school team! Give me a break!! JUST KIDDING! If you need pointers, message me...I SERIOUSLY don't need to have a conversation here. FML IS NOT a chatroom.