Withholding sex, especially when she goes to extremes like this is a sure sign of cheating. She has found someone new and only wants op around as a servant, but offered up some slim chance of continued sexual relations to keep him from leaving until her new relationship is secure and ready for her to leave op for the new partner.

@ 55 Well that is a lot to assume. She might just resent her husband because she feels like he will not do his share of the chores. I totally agree that this is an inappropriate way to handle the situation, but to accuse her of cheating based on only a tiny piece of info is pretty presumptuous

I have seen people do the sex for chores thing. No graph was made, no sleeping in the other room. All the wife did was say, "I work all day, then come home and do chores. I am too tired for sex. So if you want sex then you need to do chores as well." I think they made a Weekly Chore Calender, but no points were needed. It worked out for them. This does not sound like the wife is cheating. It sounds like she is tired and wants Op to do more stuff. While extreme, she should have approached it in a more mature manner, since sex should not be used to bribe people. Op should make another chart outlining chores they both could do. That way she won't be tired and it is fair for both parties, based on working hours, time spent at home, etc.

The bit about sleeping in the spare room and refusing to so much as look at him unless he has enough points makes it abundantly clear she is not the least bit interested in him, only his assistance in household chores. I don't generally assume cheating, but if she isn't having her sexual needs filled elsewhere, this plan of hers would be just as much punishment for her.

198, some women do not have very high sex drives, therefore no needs to be met. If she is working/cleaning/taking care of kids all day, then understandably she needs some help and may have low libido. This was not the best method but, as others have mentioned, if she has tried other incentives or talking with OP with no positive result then poor her. Just because THEY are not having sex, does not insinuate that she is getting it elsewhere. I am twenty four and only have a sex drive about once every three months. Still have sex more than that, but never instigated by me except in those rare moments. This couple needs to have a serious talk or maybe some counseling, as there are always reasons for bad behavior or arguments. You just gotta delve into it.