Rewarding

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Spicy
Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML
I agree, your life sucks 79 512
You deserved it 17 516
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Top comments

Codezlol 21

Tell her that the lady down the street will do it for 100 so she had better rethink her bargain.

149 15
maa_rico 4

But wait, by the wife doing that isn't she punishing herself also? if not sex for him then not sex for her, unless..........

53 3

Comments

perdix 29

Where did she get that number? Why not a round 2000 or 2500? Is she an engineer and 2300 is the Reynolds number where laminar flow transitions to turbulence? Is that the symbolism?

5 2
mrs_bean 0

#128 - I don't fully understand what you said but I'm guessing I'd like it So . . . Nice one (y)

0 3
smartguy13v 2

perhaps it is what a months worth of chores will add up to.

3 1
Cinn_fml 22

Perdix, you've just made me feel like a real geek for getting that... Darn you! :P

1 2
Zebidee 8

Perdix, the problem with your theory is if the OP grew a pair of balls, the Reynolds number would increase, but the points required for sex would decrease, so I think it has to be something else.

4 2
perdix 29

mrs_bean, thanks for giving me the benefit of the doubt on my geek humor. The only time I've ever heard the number 2300 is the approximate border between laminar and turbulent flow. Here's a simple example of that difference: Turn on the water tap just barely. Look at how smooth and clear it looks -- that's laminar flow. Then, turn it on more. See how it becomes opaque white -- that's turbulence. Also, did anyone notice that when he racks up three sexes, he's got 6900? I know a lot about 69. For example, do you know the square root of 69? 8-something ;)

3 2
queenoftrash 0

I don't understand woman who withhold sex-i'd be punishing myself by doing that!

3 1
skyeyez9 24

She may not be attracted to her husband anymore. Whether it is from him getting too fat, or his apathy towards their marriage, being a total slob and sees her as nothing more than a maid: and still expects sex from her.

4 2
josiemorehouse 12

um, seriously?? that's f**ked up!!

1 0
Erindub 0

She WANTS you to cheat on her doesn't she?

1 2
vbmg152 18

P.S. Pull out your wallet if she's acting like a hooker, treat her like one!

1 3
endthis 0

well now u know ur mom wants incest sex and good luck reaching ur goal Hahahahaha

0 4
endthis 0

lol I thought it said mom not wife lol

0 3
playboyintown 4

you deserve to die. How could you think that?

0 0
Jarvenpa 0

she might be cheating on you...??? ha ha sucks to be you either way.

0 3
thewife5 19

I don't know if you work, or if she works or whatever, but your wife has issues. all she really wants us some help without having to ask for it, maybe a dinner out ever once in a while.. good luck fixing this mess.

2 1