Health and Cute: Rhythm method

Rhythm method

By booty backfire - 01/05/2014 17:31 - United States

Today, I hurt my back, and now I have to lie on my stomach for twenty minutes every hour so I can ice the pain. My boyfriend won't stop using my ass as bongo drums every time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 995

You deserved it 7 746

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 10/09/2010 20:07 - Canada

Today, my dad hurt his back. He went to a physical therapist who gave him some exercises to do. I have to watch him lie on his back and air hump while groaning every hour on the hour for the next two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 347

You deserved it 4 597

By guyssuck - 26/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Yellowknife

Today, I'm 8 months pregnant with a horribly sore back and an insensitive husband. I'm so desperate for relief that I'm lying on the couch, using my vibrator to give myself a back massage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 233

You deserved it 4 728

By Anonymous - 10/08/2018 18:30

Today, I finally had sex with my live-in boyfriend after a long dry spell. It was passionate and great, until I hurt my back changing positions. Now he refuses to touch me, going as far as sleeping on the couch to give me "enough space". Hello new dry spell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 255

You deserved it 394

Pain in the ass

By Anonymous - 17/06/2021 22:01 - United States - Greenville

Today, I awoke to an excruciating pain in my back from sleeping in the same position all night. I can't wipe my own ass. I've already gone to shit twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 127

By Kftc88 - 11/01/2013 08:03 - United States - Pomona

Today, I have severe back pain that is only relieved by lying flat on my bed. I also have acid reflux that is only prevented by sitting straight up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 196

You deserved it 2 932

By anonymous - 23/04/2013 21:07 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I went to my grandmom's house for an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets and about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg and couldn't get it off because it "hurts too much." I'm 24 and he's 26. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 419

You deserved it 5 517

By Anonymous - 11/04/2017 22:00

Today, I got so angry at losing in FIFA, I punched a hole in my wall and strained my back and neck doing it. Now I have to lie down on my back because it's too painful to move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 743

You deserved it 9 101

By usmcpain - 23/06/2009 05:16 - United States

Today, I couldn't sleep and in the process of tossing and turning I did something very painful to my back. I spent 4 years in the marine corps infantry, but laying in a bed kicks my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 943

You deserved it 5 065

It's the thought that counts

By Cracky - 27/11/2012 14:32 - United States - Baltimore

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 566

You deserved it 2 013

Flying high

By jkim - 08/09/2014 17:56 - United States - San Diego

Today, my husband injured his back badly. He's taken three Percocets, because according to him, he knows the dosage better than his doctor, and is demanding that I let him drive himself to work, with no pants on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 809

You deserved it 3 955

Not_Impressed13 9

Thursday 1 May 2014 23:02

"I just wanna bang on my drum all day!"

95DeVille 13

Thursday 1 May 2014 23:03

He just appreciates your assets.

Comments

cwl727 32

Thursday 1 May 2014 23:44

Does he at least sound good?

mybubbles2000 13

Thursday 1 May 2014 23:54

You're his bongo baby.

buckdharma 36

Friday 2 May 2014 0:02

Pa rum pum pum pum Me and my bumm.

SuperStormCindy 8

Friday 2 May 2014 5:25

^This. This is perfection.

cadillacgal79 32

Saturday 26 July 2014 3:54

Ok, you can down vote me for this but I just have to say, I laughed out loud, good thing I'm alone....

meowimmakat 23

Friday 2 May 2014 0:06

He's just trying to get you to smile, lighten up.

TheMystery13 13

Friday 2 May 2014 0:13

At least he's playing bongos and not tom-toms; for that you need sticks.

pesukarchu 11

Friday 2 May 2014 0:41

That sounds like something my boyfriend would do. xP He's just trying to make you feel better and laugh OP :)

kittycat69 5

Friday 2 May 2014 0:44

I think he's a keeper ;)

PassiveAggresive 12

Friday 2 May 2014 0:53

FYI for the pain, but you're lucky you having a loving partner!

DanielleinDC 33

Friday 2 May 2014 14:30

There's nothing loving about banging on your partner's ass when her back is in pain, and she's trying to alleviate that. But is it possible to lie with the ice pack underneath you, OP? Or find another way to ice your back that doesn't involve lying on your stomach?

steve31789 8

Friday 2 May 2014 1:02

Banging on a trash can, drumming on a street light!

squidgy787 22

Friday 2 May 2014 2:34

One little voice is calling me, calling me...

blackonblight 32

Friday 2 May 2014 10:15

Think big

AuburnBright 1

Friday 2 May 2014 1:06

Even if he's just being silly or teasing, he shouldn't be allowed to do anything with your body that you don't want, especially while you're hurt. Let him know!

blackonblight 32

Friday 2 May 2014 10:17

You have a good point that really should be said more. Taking advantage of her pain and immobility like that is rude, and deserves at the least a verbal beat down. Back pain can be hell on earth, why would you touch someone while they're icing?