Intimacy: Smooth criminal

Smooth criminal

By nickim756 - 13/09/2010 02:29 - United States

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 529

You deserved it 6 239

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Same thing different taste

Caught in 4K

By RBergman - 25/04/2015 20:05 - United States - Basin

Today, I had to arrest my own boyfriend for having sex in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 822

You deserved it 3 364

Caught

By fuck - 09/11/2013 23:30 - United States - Hubert

Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 428

You deserved it 5 281

By ifhehadadickforaheaditdbefuckingsmall - 10/03/2013 18:50 - Cyprus - Strovolos

Today, my husband was arrested for having sex in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 757

You deserved it 4 864

Horndog

By Anonymous - 20/08/2012 02:05 - United States - La Grange

Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 762

You deserved it 5 668

The nerve of some people

By Inga44 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 155

You deserved it 3 779

Straight to jail

By Miss bad decisions - 03/11/2023 22:00

Today, my boyfriend and I got busted having public sex. In desperation, I promised the officer he could fuck me if he let us go. Now I've got an extra charge and probably an ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 939

Whatcha do when they come for you?

By Anonymous - 22/01/2011 20:20 - United States

Today, my girlfriend called me to pick her up from jail. She'd been arrested for indecent exposure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 902

You deserved it 4 386

By iliketoastalot - 09/08/2011 17:38 - United States

Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 646

You deserved it 5 910

Bad boys bad boys

By addie - 03/03/2013 08:27 - United States

Today, my fiancé called me as I was clocking out. I thought he was going to tell me that he was waiting outside. Instead, he told me that he's getting arrested and needs me to call his mom for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 242

You deserved it 3 077

Handjob

By Anonymous - 20/11/2019 18:00

Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 059

You deserved it 906

tooGee24 0

Monday 13 September 2010 9:31

he was in a hard situation can't blame him for it

jay4who7 0

Monday 13 September 2010 9:06

nice,but it's kinda hard to talk you're way out of that one!

Comments

porter12 0

Tuesday 14 September 2010 1:34

pay his bail. your fault, he wouldn't need to ********** if you put out for him

5t3ff1k4h 44

Tuesday 14 September 2010 1:55

Unless he has a psychiatric condition.

gawddddd 3

Tuesday 14 September 2010 3:09

porter12-Is your first name Hamilton? Like in The Sandlot?(: Haha

yummycupcakegirl 0

Tuesday 14 September 2010 2:01

hob knocker!!

amber2981 0

Tuesday 14 September 2010 2:08

lol I would have left him there

chocolatejuggalo 0

Tuesday 14 September 2010 2:21

WIN.

verrronica 7

Tuesday 14 September 2010 2:26

lmao. paul ruebens.

krisztian_fml 7

Tuesday 14 September 2010 2:40

thats what you get for not satisfying him

mountiansnow 0

Tuesday 14 September 2010 2:51

if he prefers jackin off in public thn havin sex withu in ur house thn ur responsible 4 tht

yummycupcakegirl 0

Tuesday 14 September 2010 3:01

you are very cute and France was very nice when I was there with a friend:)

yummycupcakegirl 0

Tuesday 14 September 2010 3:03

srry that was from a previous FML I wasnt talking 2 u. Sorry!!:(

Docsecret 0

Tuesday 14 September 2010 3:25

The cop must not have been impressed. poor you. FYL.

Keywords

Money Health Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Customers Fat Love Am I overreacting? Facebook Social Media AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Students Relatable Technology Education Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Argument Ironic Friends Awkward

The Top

Today, my parents told me that unless I think about my behaviour and make some real changes, people are going to think I’m weird or suspicious, and I’ll never make friends. This is because I choose to attend church on Sundays instead of watching TV and getting drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 276

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 652

You deserved it 5 885

The Top

Today, I found out that my sleep-walking is so bad that I regularly text my friend while I sleep. I have no idea how many times this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 623

You deserved it 3 502

Today, my phone rang while I was home alone. When I picked up, all I could hear was heavy breathing. Convinced it was one of my friends playing a joke, I said loudly, "Get off the phone, you fucker, and don't call back!" It turned out it was my grandma. She had been having a stroke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 616

You deserved it 92 131

Today, after 4 years of college to get a BA in Marketing and 2 years to get an MBA, I landed a great job as a receptionist. My boss likes to fist bump when I buzz him through the security door correctly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 213

You deserved it 819

Today, my husband and I were in bed when the alarm on his phone went off. He then told me that he had to 'sound the horn' and went over to his laptop. Wondering what that meant, I peered over at his laptop. It turns out hunting for mice on Facebook is more important than procreating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 836

You deserved it 4 167

Today, I overheard my parents in the kitchen talking about how they wanted to try anal tonight. There is over three and a half feet of snow outside, leaving me no way to escape the horrible sounds and mental images yet to come. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 830

You deserved it 4 314

Today, I cut my own bangs. I pulled too much hair to the front and ended up giving myself a mullet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 424

You deserved it 47 194

Same thing different taste

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