Intimacy: Smooth criminal

Smooth criminal

By nickim756 - 13/09/2010 02:29 - United States

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 529

You deserved it 6 239

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Caught in 4K

By RBergman - 25/04/2015 20:05 - United States - Basin

Today, I had to arrest my own boyfriend for having sex in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 822

You deserved it 3 364

Caught

By fuck - 09/11/2013 23:30 - United States - Hubert

Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 428

You deserved it 5 281

By ifhehadadickforaheaditdbefuckingsmall - 10/03/2013 18:50 - Cyprus - Strovolos

Today, my husband was arrested for having sex in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 757

You deserved it 4 864

Horndog

By Anonymous - 20/08/2012 02:05 - United States - La Grange

Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 762

You deserved it 5 668

The nerve of some people

By Inga44 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 155

You deserved it 3 779

Straight to jail

By Miss bad decisions - 03/11/2023 22:00

Today, my boyfriend and I got busted having public sex. In desperation, I promised the officer he could fuck me if he let us go. Now I've got an extra charge and probably an ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 939

Whatcha do when they come for you?

By Anonymous - 22/01/2011 20:20 - United States

Today, my girlfriend called me to pick her up from jail. She'd been arrested for indecent exposure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 902

You deserved it 4 386

By iliketoastalot - 09/08/2011 17:38 - United States

Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 646

You deserved it 5 910

Bad boys bad boys

By addie - 03/03/2013 08:27 - United States

Today, my fiancé called me as I was clocking out. I thought he was going to tell me that he was waiting outside. Instead, he told me that he's getting arrested and needs me to call his mom for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 242

You deserved it 3 077

Handjob

By Anonymous - 20/11/2019 18:00

Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 059

You deserved it 906

tooGee24 0

Monday 13 September 2010 9:31

he was in a hard situation can't blame him for it

jay4who7 0

Monday 13 September 2010 9:06

nice,but it's kinda hard to talk you're way out of that one!

Comments

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 13 September 2010 15:57

He's hot for her spot. She's warm for his form. Perhaps she's got some sort of virus.

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 13 September 2010 15:59

I'm sure that'll go down well with his prison buddies.

mahnego 3

Monday 13 September 2010 16:21

lmao! good friend! :)

DMinimo 0

Monday 13 September 2010 16:21

LOLOLOLOLOL! THAT'S HILLAAARRIOUUSS

Ionic 0

Tuesday 14 September 2010 7:42

*cough* Now we all know where your sense of humor lies.

mikey0505 0

Monday 13 September 2010 16:27

I hope you didn't bail that perv out

mischeviousman 0

Monday 13 September 2010 16:34

Was he doing it purpously to annoy the cop, or is he just a retard?

antoinemartinez 0

Monday 13 September 2010 16:36

someone needs more sex

glemmie 0

Monday 13 September 2010 16:39

So now he gets to be added to the sex offender list and register whenever he moves. bloody brilliant of him.

sricious 0

Monday 13 September 2010 16:51

WHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA..

fernandopcg 1

Monday 13 September 2010 16:52

like Borat!

Keywords

Kids Health Money Work You're fired Christmas Fat Bodyshaming Customers Am I overreacting? Social Media Love Facebook AITA Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Miscellaneous Education Relatable Students Technology Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, I was at the gym on the elliptical. Feeling proud of myself for finishing a very intense workout, I looked to my left to see that the maintenance guy fixing the machine next to me had burned more calories testing the machine than I did during my entire workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 580

You deserved it 5 576

Today, my roommate wanted me to try out a new bus route home, I knew it might take longer but she really wanted me to try, so I went with her. After waiting for ages at The Exchange bus stop for the last bus home, we missed it, and had to take an Uber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 174

The Top

Today, the girl I like at work surprised me in the otherwise empty break room. She caught me taking part in what might as well have been the Ball-Scratching Olympics. I didn't notice she was behind me until she cleared her throat to get my attention. Shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 460

You deserved it 13 146

Today, my wife (who changed her mind about converting for me after we married) now wants me to set her friends up with guys I grew up with from the same church. She’s offended that my family doesn’t trust her friends, and wants me to be outraged on their behalf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 211

You deserved it 512

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend saying, "I shall be the prince, and you shall be the princess," to his hamster. Once he saw me, he quickly turned to the hamster and said, "I have to go. The dragon is here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 621

You deserved it 8 780

Today, I went to the mall and had to parallel park. It took me 10 to 12 minutes of maneuvering before I got into the slot. When I turned off the car and got out, there were 8 people laughing hysterically and clapping for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 814

You deserved it 46 413

Today, I got called for a job interview. I didn't catch where it was, and in my excitement I forgot to ask. I now have no idea where I'm being interviewed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 697

You deserved it 35 187

Today, my friends and family staged an intervention for me. Of course, I assumed it was a result of my raging alcoholism. Nope. It was due to my obsession with buying plants. They were deadly serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 182

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Comments