Capitalism, Cigarettes and Work: So unfair

So unfair

By Anon - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my boss decided that we no longer have to clock out for cigarette breaks, but we do for toilet breaks. I'm the only non-smoker on my floor, and I'm getting penalised for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 104

You deserved it 3 242

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/10/2014 20:52 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, after my first day at work at a local daycare, I found out that I'm not entitled to breaks because I'm the only worker there who doesn't smoke. My boss asked me, ''What do you need a break for?'' FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 976

You deserved it 2 982

Unreasonable

By Dano - 07/08/2021 10:01

Today, I was fired from my job for not buying a pack of cigarettes for my boss. I only lasted two months in that junkyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 86

One law for me…

By P057M4N - 01/10/2020 04:02 - United States - Raleigh

Today, my coworker called out for the sixth time in two weeks with no reason, while my manager was out until noon. It was just the three of us in my department. He’s had zero repercussions and has been doing this for months. They threatened to fire me for taking five minutes in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 415

You deserved it 97

Reefer madness

By Anonymous - 15/11/2021 12:59 - United Kingdom

Today, I told the coworker who sits next to me that I don't smoke weed anymore, after she brought a spliff to work. I then got called into the directors' boardroom to receive a warning for smelling like marijuana at work. I was only allowed one more warning before they were due to fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 971

You deserved it 192

One law for me…

By Anonymous - 21/12/2020 11:02 - Australia

Today, I got disciplined for sleeping on night shifts, by my boss, who also sleeps on night shifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 392

By Anonymous - 18/07/2019 00:01

Today, I saw my boss, so I mentioned to him, "Oh, I quit." He then interrupted, saying, "Great, I was going to fire you this week anyway." I wanted to tell him I quit smoking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 260

You deserved it 296

Slow day

By lion2294 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Laingsburg

Today, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't stop looking at my phone while working. I work in the back room, and there is no clock in there. I look at my phone to check the time. That way I know how long I have left in that hellhole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 889

You deserved it 7 418

By Karansuni - 14/10/2013 10:38 - Germany

Today, my boss told me that my attitude to work is awesome and that he'd follow my example of coming in half-an-hour early every day from now on. I relish those 30 minutes as the only time I can get work done without him constantly interrupting me. So much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 110

You deserved it 3 388

By "jojolovesyou134" - 31/03/2019 14:00 - Australia

Today, I decided to stand up to my bosses for making me lose money and work with heat stroke... while my co worker got to go home early I had to work 2 hours later. Turns out I got a supervisor in trouble for making me work when there was help allocated. Now I have to walk on eggshells, FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 194

You deserved it 240

By a816090 - 27/05/2019 18:09

Today, I got written up because I took a dump at work that lasted longer than 5 minutes, and I didn't punch out for it as a "paid break." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 086

You deserved it 163

Welshite 39

Thursday 19 September 2013 0:04

Is that even legal? I honestly don't know if he can do that.

yetanotherginger 19

Thursday 19 September 2013 0:03

Well, that's a pisser

Comments

splitintwo 6

Thursday 19 September 2013 2:38

Pretty sure in the US its illegal to do that...

monnanon 13

Thursday 19 September 2013 9:37

pretty sure it is in the UK too.

nhormuss 17

Thursday 19 September 2013 2:57

Time to start smoking?

skyeyez9 24

Thursday 19 September 2013 3:07

Clock out for a cigarette break and use the bathroom instead.

bazookajoey 27

Thursday 19 September 2013 3:10

I'm sure you're not the only one who uses the toilet at work.

AnahitaS 1

Thursday 19 September 2013 3:23

Why dont you start smoking? Looooll

theonecasey 27

Thursday 19 September 2013 3:42

Lung cancer **** yeah!

sassy2085 16

Thursday 19 September 2013 3:57

Take a toilet break and say it was a smoke break. Problem solved.

reymon8823 24

Thursday 19 September 2013 4:26

Act like you're going out for a smoke

kaitb1103 23

Thursday 19 September 2013 4:33

Union?

cathrope 10

Thursday 19 September 2013 4:37

Clock out to pee? What moron came up with that idea.

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The Top

Today, while I was making out with my boyfriend, he left my dorm suddenly without telling me where he was going. A few hours later, he texted me to tell me that being with me made him feel dirty and he had gone to confession. He then called me a sinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 549

You deserved it 7 856

Today, my husband filed for divorce. He also put himself “In a relationship” with my daughter on Facebook. She turned 18 a few days ago. He says it’s no big deal because, “at least I waited until she was legal.” The spineless idiot just doesn’t get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 081

You deserved it 160

The Top

Today, I was working at a coffee shop. I was serving a customer when a cockroach appeared out of nowhere, and I screamed. Customers aren't supposed to know about the bugs so I had to lie and say I spilled coffee on myself, and served the customer while I felt the bug climbing up my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 195

You deserved it 10 093

Today, my boyfriend decided he's asexual and dumped me on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 519

You deserved it 4 894

Today, the crush I've had for months finally came over to my place for the first time. It didn't last long however, as I suddenly had to go to the ER for severe testicular pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 109

You deserved it 2 156

Today, my business partners of 5 years asked me right after our 5-hour audit with the tax department, "Oh, we have to pay tax?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 929

You deserved it 381

Today, our band had a road trip. Two people chose to stack themselves on top of each other to share a seat rather than sit in the last seat next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 018

You deserved it 3 292

Today, I'm in my third week at a new job. Using an online service our company recommends, I accidentally downloaded a virus that is now working its way through our website, randomly sending our customers Viagra ads via our email. I personally had to tell the founder of the company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 468

You deserved it 4 267

So unfair

Same thing different taste

Unreasonable

One law for me…

Reefer madness

One law for me…

Slow day

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