Intimacy: Spice up your love life

Spice up your love life

By screwed - 04/11/2012 09:55 - United States

Today, my hubby and I decided to spice up our sex life and went to an adult toy store. We know too many people in our town, so we drove to one that was 30 minutes away. We decided on our items, and went to the check out. Who would have guessed my next door neighbor works there as a cashier? FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 753

You deserved it 5 475

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/11/2017 05:00

Today, my girlfriend and I went to a shop known for its hardcore sex toys. We happened to run into one of my university lecturers and her wife discussing butt plugs with a member of staff, and then saw my aunt and uncle at the register. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 713

You deserved it 1 205

By Average Lover - 27/10/2018 03:00

Today, my wife and I decided to go to an adult store and buy some toys to spice up the bedroom a bit. She wanted to buy a double-edged dildo so "we can use it together". I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 745

You deserved it 763

By the_captain - 23/06/2009 00:21 - United States

Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 702

You deserved it 3 516

Are you lost?

By Anonymous - 16/08/2015 15:22 - United States

Today, while I was working at a children's toy store, a woman walked in, looked around a bit, then asked if we sold dildos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 191

You deserved it 1 779

The Customer Is Clueless

By Conner Johnson - 28/11/2017 05:00

Today, a customer walked up to me with a dog toy and said, "I knew one-stop shopping was a thing, but I didn't know you guys carried dildos." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 192

You deserved it 289

Nice try, Sharon

By Anonymous - 23/06/2013 10:38 - United States - Fountain Valley

Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 646

You deserved it 25 583

By MissCan'tKeepAJob - 23/08/2011 16:18 - United States

Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 126

You deserved it 57 581

By vhtdgjj - 29/11/2010 18:26 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store where my husband works. I wanted to surprise him, so I went up behind him and started kissing his neck. He seemed to love it, and so did I, until I noticed it wasn't my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 307

You deserved it 46 962

Make believe

By SN MetalMilitia - 03/11/2020 05:02

Today, I once again bought condoms at the gas station to make the people who work there think that I have a sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 1 370

By fantastic - 03/02/2012 18:47 - France

Today, I went to the store to get Valentine's Day gifts to decorate my boyfriend's and my new apartment. He was there shopping with his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 960

You deserved it 5 113

DocBastard 38

Sunday 4 November 2012 15:11

Oh no! Now your neighbour knows you have a healthy sex life! Whatever will you do? How will you ever live it down? The only solution is to have loud, raucous sex all the time so he knows your purchase was successful.

n3rdzgotskillz 29

Sunday 4 November 2012 15:11

Hey, you only BOUGHT something from a sex shop. They WORK there. I think you're pretty even!

Comments

torianab 7

Sunday 4 November 2012 19:06

You should've asked if you could take advantage of their discount! Besides, did he/she really even care?

thewife5 19

Sunday 4 November 2012 19:12

If it is SO embarrassing for you, order online. You sound like you're 12

brandonwong 18

Sunday 4 November 2012 19:35

Working there is more embarrassing than buying from there.

Legendoflaw 4

Sunday 4 November 2012 19:42

Not only are you married, but your next door neighbor WORKS there. Stop caring about what other people think! I've went with my wife and GROUPS of friends to the adult stores. Not only is it funny to see what every one else buys... It's even funnier to hear the stories that they tell after!

Legendoflaw 4

Sunday 4 November 2012 19:45

If your neighbor works there, I'm sure they own half if not more of the toys in the store. You can always ask to borrow them! Jk. That's disgusting.

desertlovebird 11

Sunday 4 November 2012 20:11

At least your getting some loving in your life. Don't complain !

taystahl 7

Sunday 4 November 2012 20:15

That sucks!

verkaderk 9

Sunday 4 November 2012 20:43

So you have sex with your husband... What's to be ashamed of?

SoultheWolf 19

Sunday 4 November 2012 21:21

I really don't see the problem. You are married, many people like using toys, lingerie, or other stuff to spice up their sex life. YDI for driving 30 miles to another place just to go to another store because you are too embarrassed. If you are too embarrassed to buy them then you shouldn't be using them in the first place.