Health, Movies and Intimacy: Stealthy

Stealthy

By ohdear - 31/10/2011 15:38 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 053

You deserved it 5 371

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Same thing different taste

Scary

By xHoho - 26/11/2013 05:50 - United States - West Fargo

Today, I took my girlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Instead when a scary part came on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap and the person in front of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 324

You deserved it 8 729

By Nat - 13/09/2014 06:29 - United States - Frisco

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. We were getting into the mood so I tried to eat the popcorn kind of sexually, causing me to choke on the popcorn and throw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 511

You deserved it 18 703

Movie night

By Spanky - 23/01/2009 11:36 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with a friend and her grandma. Her grandma was using toothpicks and dropping them on the ground next to our popcorn bucket. I took a big handful of popcorn, and was fortunate enough to get a piece of her toothpick lodged in my throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 753

You deserved it 2 523

By Anonymous - 11/07/2010 18:18 - United States

Today, I was at the movies with my boyfriend when I really had to pee. I tried to get out of the aisle in a hurry so I wouldn't disturb anyone when I tripped, landing on the people in the row in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 735

You deserved it 5 470

Popped

By regected - 30/08/2009 12:19 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with the girl I liked. She kept on eating my popcorn so I whispered in her ear, "Pretty soon your going to have to repay me with kisses." Then she looked at me and walked out the theatre. She came back with a bucket of popcorn and said, "Here, you're repaid." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 831

You deserved it 45 465

By Nick - 22/05/2018 01:30

Today, my girlfriend and I went to see a horror movie. It ended up scaring her so badly that she refused to leave our bed all night long, even to pee. I have to clean the mattress now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 876

You deserved it 758

Why would you stick that there?

By Co-B - 03/09/2009 20:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 880

You deserved it 61 059

By a man - 13/07/2013 13:20 - United States - Houston

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the movies. When the "love scene" came on, she leaned over and made out with the wrong man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 281

You deserved it 5 388

Jump scare

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 052

You deserved it 14 019

Romantic move

By soomeone - 16/02/2010 19:28 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 681

You deserved it 25 654

ndnpride88 25

Monday 31 October 2011 18:01

Man that's disgusting

instnt1nfction 17

Monday 31 October 2011 18:01

Like a ninja

Comments

Portalcc 4

Tuesday 1 November 2011 5:33

Might be gross, but very nifty!

dorkasaurusROAR 7

Tuesday 1 November 2011 5:37

Wtf.. She can't go the bathroom?? O.o

KaileyNawnerz 0

Tuesday 1 November 2011 5:42

Thats when you know you gotta boyfriens that loves you alott! You should all just be happy it wasnt a tampon!

Sonalis 9

Friday 11 November 2011 0:03

That still doesn't change the fact that she changed her pad, her blood-soaked pad, IN PUBLIC. It's gross, and not acceptable at all.

tragicnightmare 15

Tuesday 1 November 2011 5:48

how the hell did she do that without taking her pants off? she would get blood everywhere! eww gross shit, that's so sick man

Honestly_Lainey 21

Tuesday 1 November 2011 5:58

You need a non dirty girlfriend bud

TinyLittleSilver 4

Tuesday 1 November 2011 5:59

How on earth did no one hear the noise the wrapper makes? I do have to say though...that's really disturbing.

TalishaE_pod 0

Tuesday 1 November 2011 6:02

Uhmm nasty!:/

nikkitete 1

Tuesday 1 November 2011 6:05

That's disgusting!!

Jordyn_WhoDat 6

Tuesday 1 November 2011 6:08

that's really disgusting... no one else noticed her doing that? must not have been too crowded!

JayJay1995 1

Tuesday 1 November 2011 6:13

Gross...

Keywords

Family Holidays Miscellaneous Thanksgiving Politics AITA Transportation Am I overreacting? Cars Contraception Love Cheating Suspicious Pregnancy Christmas Scary Sex Awkward Weddings Embarrassing Singing My ex Jealousy Friends Health Poopoo peepee Relatable Therapy Mental health Covid

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 779

You deserved it 3 943

Today, I’m 15 and my mother banned me from watching YouTube because it’s "distracting." What the f***? How? Now I have to pretend that I've watched the things my friends send me so they won’t know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 470

The Top

Today, my friend received a package I sent her by mail. The package was already ripped open on arrival, two out of the three blouses I sent her were missing and a limited edition glass cup I sent her with the apparel was smashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 018

You deserved it 76

Today, the job search agency that I use asked me to stop sending in my resume, as no one had hired me in three years, and that the situation was unlikely to change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 447

You deserved it 3 819

Today, I was undressing for my girlfriend. I thought I was being all smooth and sexy, until I went to sit on the side of the bed and beckon her over. Instead, I sat heavily on my balls, screamed, then fell off the bed sobbing like a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 360

You deserved it 7 146

Today, I was just beginning a calculus exam when my brain thought it was a good time to get stuck on the song "Close Every Door" from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Now that the exam is over, I'm afraid that I can foresee the future through song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 641

You deserved it 163

Today, my boyfriend and I were spooning in bed, nude, when I accidentally farted. He freaked out and asked in all seriousness if I was trying to give his dick pink-eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 074

You deserved it 8 068

Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered, "We are so gonna make pizza after this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 811

You deserved it 7 620