Health, Movies and Intimacy: Stealthy

Stealthy

By ohdear - 31/10/2011 15:38 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 053

You deserved it 5 371

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Same thing different taste

Scary

By xHoho - 26/11/2013 05:50 - United States - West Fargo

Today, I took my girlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Instead when a scary part came on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap and the person in front of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 324

You deserved it 8 729

By Nat - 13/09/2014 06:29 - United States - Frisco

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. We were getting into the mood so I tried to eat the popcorn kind of sexually, causing me to choke on the popcorn and throw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 511

You deserved it 18 703

Movie night

By Spanky - 23/01/2009 11:36 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with a friend and her grandma. Her grandma was using toothpicks and dropping them on the ground next to our popcorn bucket. I took a big handful of popcorn, and was fortunate enough to get a piece of her toothpick lodged in my throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 753

You deserved it 2 523

By Anonymous - 11/07/2010 18:18 - United States

Today, I was at the movies with my boyfriend when I really had to pee. I tried to get out of the aisle in a hurry so I wouldn't disturb anyone when I tripped, landing on the people in the row in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 735

You deserved it 5 470

Popped

By regected - 30/08/2009 12:19 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with the girl I liked. She kept on eating my popcorn so I whispered in her ear, "Pretty soon your going to have to repay me with kisses." Then she looked at me and walked out the theatre. She came back with a bucket of popcorn and said, "Here, you're repaid." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 831

You deserved it 45 465

By Nick - 22/05/2018 01:30

Today, my girlfriend and I went to see a horror movie. It ended up scaring her so badly that she refused to leave our bed all night long, even to pee. I have to clean the mattress now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 876

You deserved it 758

Why would you stick that there?

By Co-B - 03/09/2009 20:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 880

You deserved it 61 059

By a man - 13/07/2013 13:20 - United States - Houston

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the movies. When the "love scene" came on, she leaned over and made out with the wrong man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 281

You deserved it 5 388

Jump scare

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 052

You deserved it 14 019

Romantic move

By soomeone - 16/02/2010 19:28 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 681

You deserved it 25 654

ndnpride88 25

Monday 31 October 2011 18:01

Man that's disgusting

instnt1nfction 17

Monday 31 October 2011 18:01

Like a ninja

Comments

here4theparty 4

Tuesday 1 November 2011 7:17

pulling a pee wee herman... props.

erin1994 9

Tuesday 1 November 2011 7:29

That's ******... Who in their right mind would do that?

fogrunner 13

Tuesday 1 November 2011 7:31

I'd be more surprised if I hadn't heard about breeder nazis changing their babies' diapers on café tables. :|

Cherishlynn 3

Tuesday 1 November 2011 7:31

Umm yuck! Who does that?

iilovecokee 6

Tuesday 1 November 2011 7:34

She belongs in a cage next to the chimps and baboons.

sajupt 17

Tuesday 1 November 2011 7:43

Disgusting is an understatement...

emyonline 0

Tuesday 1 November 2011 7:47

Sucks... Ewww

Iffyy 6

Tuesday 1 November 2011 7:47

Fo' real fo' real?

flame2011 6

Tuesday 1 November 2011 7:49

How long have you guys known each other? How long would the relation have to be lasting to feel comfortable enough to do that next to the guy?

kelis_fml 0

Tuesday 1 November 2011 8:00

That's ******* nasty! Has she not heard of a toilet?!

Keywords

Politics Thanksgiving Miscellaneous Family Holidays AITA Transportation Am I overreacting? Cars Contraception Love Suspicious Cheating Pregnancy Scary Christmas Sex Awkward Weddings Singing Embarrassing My ex Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Relatable Mental health Therapy Argument

The Top

Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 295

You deserved it 9 654

...

I agree, your life sucks 12

You deserved it 18

The Top

Today, I had a bad and very unenthusiastic one night stand and tried to quietly order an Uber while she was getting dressed. Turns out, she's an Uber driver and being as she was in the area, the alert came over her phone. She was furious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 837

You deserved it 902

Today, I was pulled into an argument between a woman and her boyfriend. He wanted to buy a jacket and she wanted my opinion, as a gay man, on whether it suited him. I’m not gay, I'm even married to a woman. They were very surprised because apparently I look "super gay." Other shoppers agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 997

You deserved it 182

Today, after 2 years of searching, I finally have a job that I love. Now I'm probably going to lose it because I started having sex with one of my managers, and our coworkers are starting to catch on. They caught on pretty much the day I told him that we should stop having sex so we wouldn't lose our jobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 545

You deserved it 3 313

Today, my fiancé's grandmother kept trying to introduce him to this "simply absolutely amazing girl," who she thought "would be just the perfect date" for him. At our engagement party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 685

You deserved it 2 033

Today, I’ve been growing dreads for two years after I lost my hair to chemo. After visiting my boyfriend’s family, we all contracted lice from the kids. Even though I did the shampoo and treatment, my locks are too coiled to effectively comb out all the nits. I have to shave my head again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 462

You deserved it 407

Today, I was sitting in my room while my mom was talking to my uncle. I had my door open. She said, "Yeah my son doesn't know I have his phone password. Girls nowadays are real sluts." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 617

You deserved it 8 855