Health, Movies and Intimacy: Stealthy

Stealthy

By ohdear - 31/10/2011 15:38 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 052

You deserved it 5 371

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Same thing different taste

Scary

By xHoho - 26/11/2013 05:50 - United States - West Fargo

Today, I took my girlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Instead when a scary part came on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap and the person in front of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 324

You deserved it 8 729

By Nat - 13/09/2014 06:29 - United States - Frisco

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. We were getting into the mood so I tried to eat the popcorn kind of sexually, causing me to choke on the popcorn and throw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 511

You deserved it 18 703

Movie night

By Spanky - 23/01/2009 11:36 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with a friend and her grandma. Her grandma was using toothpicks and dropping them on the ground next to our popcorn bucket. I took a big handful of popcorn, and was fortunate enough to get a piece of her toothpick lodged in my throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 753

You deserved it 2 523

By Anonymous - 11/07/2010 18:18 - United States

Today, I was at the movies with my boyfriend when I really had to pee. I tried to get out of the aisle in a hurry so I wouldn't disturb anyone when I tripped, landing on the people in the row in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 735

You deserved it 5 470

Popped

By regected - 30/08/2009 12:19 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with the girl I liked. She kept on eating my popcorn so I whispered in her ear, "Pretty soon your going to have to repay me with kisses." Then she looked at me and walked out the theatre. She came back with a bucket of popcorn and said, "Here, you're repaid." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 831

You deserved it 45 465

By Nick - 22/05/2018 01:30

Today, my girlfriend and I went to see a horror movie. It ended up scaring her so badly that she refused to leave our bed all night long, even to pee. I have to clean the mattress now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 876

You deserved it 758

Why would you stick that there?

By Co-B - 03/09/2009 20:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 880

You deserved it 61 059

By a man - 13/07/2013 13:20 - United States - Houston

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the movies. When the "love scene" came on, she leaned over and made out with the wrong man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 281

You deserved it 5 388

Jump scare

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 052

You deserved it 14 019

Romantic move

By soomeone - 16/02/2010 19:28 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 681

You deserved it 25 654

ndnpride88 25

Monday 31 October 2011 18:01

Man that's disgusting

instnt1nfction 17

Monday 31 October 2011 18:01

Like a ninja

Comments

wisese 0

Monday 31 October 2011 18:19

That is truly the most disgusting and unhygienic thing I have ever heard. I feel bad for anyone associated with her; if she thinks that's acceptable, I wonder what other gross things she does? I wouldn't want to touch ANYTHING she touches...

AshorinaMoshe 10

Monday 31 October 2011 18:20

that's f**king disgusting

misstrujillo 0

Monday 31 October 2011 18:24

If that's how she feels about personal hygiene, she deserves to be alone. Freakin gross.

ajpopoca88 3

Monday 31 October 2011 18:24

wtf.. at least she didnt have to take a shit during the movie O__o

jordo924 0

Monday 31 October 2011 18:25

your girlfriend's a total ninja, a gross ninja, but a ninja

AmethystRain 20

Monday 31 October 2011 18:25

Wow. Just wow. As a woman, I cannot even possibly fathom ever doing this in a million years. Your girlfriend has some serious underlying issues.

kikibrowm 7

Tuesday 1 November 2011 1:18

I know, right? It wouldn't hurt to miss a minute or two...

VeganVampyre 26

Wednesday 2 November 2011 1:15

No kidding... That's so gross! Also, a movie's only a couple hours long... If changing her pad couldn't wait until the movie ended, then it probably should have been taken care of before the movie started. Little bit of thinking and planning ahead- problem solved!

shortyife 0

Wednesday 2 November 2011 5:04

yeh but how urgent can a pad change be during a movie? couldnt she have done so b4 or waited till after?

ThatLooksSticky 16

Monday 31 October 2011 18:25

What movie is SO GOOD that you can't go to the bathroom for a few minutes? And if the theater was so crowded, how in the world did no one else notice this?? I hope I never sit in her seat. ::shudder::

theonlybassist 8

Monday 31 October 2011 22:30

And she probly would've missed that part of the movie anyway. Unless she really is a ninja and did it without looking.

catatonicsleep 17

Tuesday 1 November 2011 0:01

She should have done it before the movie started if she was so desparate not to miss a minute of it.

yeti0718 8

Monday 31 October 2011 18:26

This is so incredibly nasty I'm not even sure I could think of a word to describe the amount of disgust I feel. I really hope you broke it off right there. YUCK.

glitterglam86 0

Monday 31 October 2011 18:27

That's really disgusting

GypsyRover 0

Monday 31 October 2011 18:30

Well,you said that she is your gf,so I'm guessing she is good at sucking dick and taking it in the ass,and has no problem with you seeing other women. And she must be a sugar mama. That would be the ONLY reason that I can think of to keep her around. However,this is not a FML for you. It's a FHL. I wish you the best of luck. :-)