Harassment and Love: Tactical nuke

Tactical nuke

By not getting laid - 13/10/2013 14:38 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 305

You deserved it 93 895

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Same thing different taste

By MarMar - 15/03/2009 20:47 - United States

Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 592

You deserved it 17 308

By wildthing - 01/07/2009 19:33 - United States

Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 610

You deserved it 7 232

By Anonymous - 19/07/2015 04:36 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 254

You deserved it 5 021

By anonymous - 21/02/2011 05:01

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 987

You deserved it 14 929

By Anonymous - 17/10/2014 10:13 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, while out for dinner with my parents, a woman, approximately the same age as my mother, repeatedly propositioned me for sex during the course of my meal. After declining firmly several times, she only stopped after my mother convinced her I was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 665

You deserved it 4 179

Where did that come from?

By psychicmother - 09/09/2011 10:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I was driving my drunk mother home when my phone rang. It was my boyfriend, so I asked her to answer the call. My mother then questioned him on our sex life and was especially interested to know if we'd used handcuffs because I "like them." I have no recollection of ever telling her this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 768

You deserved it 4 872

Just a prank, bro!

By ilovemymomma - 26/05/2012 07:15 - United States - Hereford

Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 272

You deserved it 10 332

By Anonymous - 12/09/2012 21:06 - United States

Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 482

You deserved it 4 357

By BlackPolarbear - 23/01/2010 08:05 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 133

You deserved it 29 771

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 818

You deserved it 37 524

iAlissa 34

Sunday 13 October 2013 19:07

Maybe the woman respects herself enough not to sleep with a stranger

jensen21 19

Sunday 13 October 2013 19:10

When you use "finally gave in" it seems like you were definitely harassing her.

Comments

chanelleyy 26

Monday 14 October 2013 0:53

oh dear...

darkmis1 17

Monday 14 October 2013 0:56

Maybe you should treat women like ya know...people, and not just things to sleep with. YDI

Kitsi 14

Monday 14 October 2013 0:59

You're a loser. Women are HUMAN BEINGS! They aren't androids that require a couple buttons pushed then sex. I am so tired of males thinking females are objects. Grow up, immediately. If sex is your only goal, as opposed to meeting people/having an actual relationship...you need to get a life. I am glad she called your mom. YDI 100%.

goth_pixie 15

Monday 14 October 2013 1:07

Once I read "I was sure I could get her to sleep with me" I pushed YDI

HeatherFeatherB 31

Monday 14 October 2013 7:59

So did I. Wasn't required to read the entire thing before voting.

Waredo_Dyrge 11

Monday 14 October 2013 1:11

YDI for being a complete piece of shit, OP. I'm glad that girl did what she did. I hope you die alone.

sanecatlady 13

Monday 14 October 2013 1:12

YDI. My advice to any other woman who sees you is to cross their arms, cross their LEGS, and stay away!

RabbitOfAurora 28

Monday 14 October 2013 1:16

OMG! I love this girl. I want to be her best friend and buy her a pizza because she's amazing.

Alastrina_fml 20

Monday 14 October 2013 1:22

A pizza AND a beer!! =)

nooneherer 5

Monday 14 October 2013 1:19

you should change your user to never getting laid

Alastrina_fml 20

Monday 14 October 2013 1:20

OP, you're one of those guys who whines about being in the "friend zone" when women reject your advances, right? If not, then you're likely one of those guys who texts pictures of his junk to random girls. Women are PEOPLE......they are not a set of body parts here to pleasure you. If that's what you really think of the opposite sex, you're a fucktard and I hope no woman ever deigns to sleep with you.