Harassment and Love: Tactical nuke

Tactical nuke

By not getting laid - 13/10/2013 14:38 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 305

You deserved it 93 895

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Same thing different taste

By MarMar - 15/03/2009 20:47 - United States

Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 592

You deserved it 17 308

By wildthing - 01/07/2009 19:33 - United States

Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 610

You deserved it 7 232

By Anonymous - 19/07/2015 04:36 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 254

You deserved it 5 021

By anonymous - 21/02/2011 05:01

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 987

You deserved it 14 929

By Anonymous - 17/10/2014 10:13 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, while out for dinner with my parents, a woman, approximately the same age as my mother, repeatedly propositioned me for sex during the course of my meal. After declining firmly several times, she only stopped after my mother convinced her I was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 665

You deserved it 4 179

Where did that come from?

By psychicmother - 09/09/2011 10:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I was driving my drunk mother home when my phone rang. It was my boyfriend, so I asked her to answer the call. My mother then questioned him on our sex life and was especially interested to know if we'd used handcuffs because I "like them." I have no recollection of ever telling her this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 768

You deserved it 4 872

Just a prank, bro!

By ilovemymomma - 26/05/2012 07:15 - United States - Hereford

Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 272

You deserved it 10 332

By Anonymous - 12/09/2012 21:06 - United States

Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 482

You deserved it 4 357

By BlackPolarbear - 23/01/2010 08:05 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 133

You deserved it 29 771

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 818

You deserved it 37 524

iAlissa 34

Sunday 13 October 2013 19:07

Maybe the woman respects herself enough not to sleep with a stranger

jensen21 19

Sunday 13 October 2013 19:10

When you use "finally gave in" it seems like you were definitely harassing her.

Comments

ItsNatals_xoxo 5

Monday 14 October 2013 19:27

That's pretty hilarious

awkward_gothlady 32

Monday 14 October 2013 19:52

So, why were you so sure you could "get her to sleep with you?" Because you're just so amazing that women can't help but fall into bed with you? Guys with that sort of attitude are so annoying. A guy who's truly amazing doesn't measure his worth by how many women he can talk into sleeping with him.

Cordy07 8

Monday 14 October 2013 20:25

I wish I could thumb up this comment 100 times!

papayeya 18

Monday 14 October 2013 20:29

All i can Say: lolololo

xxsakuraxx 29

Monday 14 October 2013 20:57

I don't know who she is but I really like her. What she did was awesome!

JonBall 17

Monday 14 October 2013 21:31

You're a prick for thinking anyone will feel sorry for you. YDI to the max

Lexiiijade 1

Monday 14 October 2013 23:13

As many have stated before, you can't expect people to feel sorry for you when you use phrases like "she gave in". Clearly she told you to back off and you're incapable of listening. I hope your mum gave you an earful too.

Maycontainnuts 17

Monday 14 October 2013 23:34

The language you're using just for this fml OP, suggests sexual harassment. I mean "finally gave in" - its not about pushing her until she caves, trust me she's not just playing "hard to get". She doesn't want to. There's no bigger turn off than a pushy guy who just assumes you're interested.