Love: Territorial

Territorial

By Anonymous - 27/09/2011 19:53 - United States

Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted, "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 330

You deserved it 4 110

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/08/2012 22:50 - Mexico - Villahermosa

Today, I had the crap beaten out of me by a woman in the street, who accused me of sleeping with her husband. I still don't know who she or her husband are, and I'm still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 050

You deserved it 1 962

It wasn't me!

By Anonymous - 15/03/2015 18:40 - United States - Charleston

Today, a guy beat the crap out of me for supposedly sleeping with his girlfriend. I didn't get a chance to tell him my brother lives with me and that he had the wrong guy. When my brother got home, he didn't ask if I was okay, but rather if the guy was coming back for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 876

You deserved it 2 728

By bad_day_in_hell - 17/11/2009 04:05 - United States

Today, I woke up to a phone call from my boss' wife. She demanded to know how long we'd been sleeping together. When I denied her allegations, she screamed that she knew all about my "history of sleeping with married men". I'm a virgin and I have to work with him tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 148

You deserved it 2 176

Alexa, play "It Wasn't Me" by Shaggy

By Anonymous - 17/09/2019 14:00

Today, I was yelled at and fired by my boss. He claimed that I've been sleeping with his wife. I've never met his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 295

You deserved it 109

By sad guy - 26/04/2013 05:20 - United States

Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 328

You deserved it 3 116

By Anonymous - 18/08/2012 00:20 - United States

Today, I got a phone call out of the blue from a young man, who screamed that he was going to kill me for sleeping with his fiancée. I told him I am a 49-year-old man who hasn't been laid since my wife passed away, four years ago. He stammered, shouted "Well she was a slut too" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 549

You deserved it 1 852

Mind your own business

By Anonymous - 16/06/2022 16:00

Today, I caught my best friend's wife being a cheating whore, and I told her either she told him the truth or I would. More fool me, she used the time I gave her to convince him I tried to sleep with her, so now he won’t believe a word I say, and he punched me in the jaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 218

You deserved it 241

Action - Reaction

By CaptBlood - 21/05/2021 00:01

Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 838

You deserved it 183

Another case for Shaggy

By well then... - 21/02/2009 23:37 - United States

Today, I was approached by a girl who called me a slut for sleeping with her boyfriend, then punched me in the face. I'm a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 560

You deserved it 3 403

By Ari - 16/06/2011 04:19 - United States

Today, a man came up to me and punched me in the face. He turned out to be the guy my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Apparently, she told him we broke up because I used to beat her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 893

You deserved it 3 720

spazzychild 12

Wednesday 28 September 2011 0:08

Punch him for sleeping with your ex-girlfiend.

Babalu722 3

Wednesday 28 September 2011 0:07

wow, thats just messed up

Comments

neonberries 15

Wednesday 28 September 2011 0:11

Clearly the real dumbass in this scenario is immensely intelligent!

BellaBelle_fml 23

Wednesday 28 September 2011 7:39

Based on your statement, I shall not call you a dumbass.

coltsrock37 15

Wednesday 28 September 2011 0:11

Clearly he has possession issues

Flutequeen 0

Wednesday 28 September 2011 0:11

Wow he shouldn't do that. Until he knows what really us going on!

tanntann 0

Wednesday 28 September 2011 0:13

This makes perfect since...did you carry the 2?

Damn_Hippster 11

Wednesday 28 September 2011 0:15

Stupid people make me sad :(

missyj0 12

Wednesday 28 September 2011 0:15

This made me laugh more then it should have.

dulayole 6

Wednesday 28 September 2011 0:16

People these days.

edteach 0

Wednesday 28 September 2011 0:19

nope... it's fair game... I understand, it makes perfect sense!

lifesucks1234567_fml 2

Wednesday 28 September 2011 6:11

Then tell me how

upyourzlolz 11

Wednesday 28 September 2011 0:19

Don't you hate when your younger self ***** you future self over? Just because your younger self just ****** your past girlfriend? Life's a bitch

AnagenisisZagus 13

Wednesday 28 September 2011 5:29

No, apparently young you is a bitch. Damn you young me. I'm going to assure you get such a bad ass whooping now, that you feel it right now. Wait, what?

holybuckets 0

Wednesday 28 September 2011 0:19

That's ridiculous.

every1luvsboners 11

Wednesday 28 September 2011 0:20

You must have given her something that she can't forget about if she's bragging to her husband about it. Just tell him to toss her salad like a boss and he wouldn't have this little problem.