Love: Territorial

Territorial

By Anonymous - 27/09/2011 19:53 - United States

Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted, "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 330

You deserved it 4 110

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/08/2012 22:50 - Mexico - Villahermosa

Today, I had the crap beaten out of me by a woman in the street, who accused me of sleeping with her husband. I still don't know who she or her husband are, and I'm still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 050

You deserved it 1 962

It wasn't me!

By Anonymous - 15/03/2015 18:40 - United States - Charleston

Today, a guy beat the crap out of me for supposedly sleeping with his girlfriend. I didn't get a chance to tell him my brother lives with me and that he had the wrong guy. When my brother got home, he didn't ask if I was okay, but rather if the guy was coming back for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 876

You deserved it 2 728

By bad_day_in_hell - 17/11/2009 04:05 - United States

Today, I woke up to a phone call from my boss' wife. She demanded to know how long we'd been sleeping together. When I denied her allegations, she screamed that she knew all about my "history of sleeping with married men". I'm a virgin and I have to work with him tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 148

You deserved it 2 176

Alexa, play "It Wasn't Me" by Shaggy

By Anonymous - 17/09/2019 14:00

Today, I was yelled at and fired by my boss. He claimed that I've been sleeping with his wife. I've never met his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 295

You deserved it 109

By sad guy - 26/04/2013 05:20 - United States

Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 328

You deserved it 3 116

By Anonymous - 18/08/2012 00:20 - United States

Today, I got a phone call out of the blue from a young man, who screamed that he was going to kill me for sleeping with his fiancée. I told him I am a 49-year-old man who hasn't been laid since my wife passed away, four years ago. He stammered, shouted "Well she was a slut too" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 549

You deserved it 1 852

Mind your own business

By Anonymous - 16/06/2022 16:00

Today, I caught my best friend's wife being a cheating whore, and I told her either she told him the truth or I would. More fool me, she used the time I gave her to convince him I tried to sleep with her, so now he won’t believe a word I say, and he punched me in the jaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 218

You deserved it 241

Action - Reaction

By CaptBlood - 21/05/2021 00:01

Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 838

You deserved it 183

Another case for Shaggy

By well then... - 21/02/2009 23:37 - United States

Today, I was approached by a girl who called me a slut for sleeping with her boyfriend, then punched me in the face. I'm a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 560

You deserved it 3 403

By Ari - 16/06/2011 04:19 - United States

Today, a man came up to me and punched me in the face. He turned out to be the guy my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Apparently, she told him we broke up because I used to beat her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 893

You deserved it 3 720

spazzychild 12

Wednesday 28 September 2011 0:08

Punch him for sleeping with your ex-girlfiend.

Babalu722 3

Wednesday 28 September 2011 0:07

wow, thats just messed up

Comments

Brooding99 15

Wednesday 28 September 2011 2:44

Serves you right! Keep that little thing in your pants OP! Hahaha! That sucks man... Don't want to think how many guys would be punching me if that was the standard op lol

hobosapien081 10

Wednesday 28 September 2011 2:49

you should remind him that no matter what he's always getting your sloppy seconds :P

lke0921 0

Wednesday 28 September 2011 3:00

Ahhh jealousy :)

Amifreetogo 0

Wednesday 28 September 2011 3:14

The 'correct' reply should have been 'just because your wife has been attempting to groom you to please her in the manner I once did doesn't give you a reason to assult me. Infact you should be asking me for tips and trade secrets. :)