Birthday, Weird and Love: Thanks, I guess…

Thanks, I guess…

By Anonymous - 21/09/2013 18:10 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 142

You deserved it 4 171

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Same thing different taste

By same - 21/11/2015 06:39 - United States - Palo Alto

Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 802

You deserved it 6 879

By Birthday blues - 13/12/2018 22:00

Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 038

You deserved it 602

By amber - 19/04/2012 18:00 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, my boyfriend gave me acne cream for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 737

You deserved it 4 783

By random123 - 29/11/2009 05:16 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend was kind enough to give me prescription strength deodorant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 164

You deserved it 7 761

It's all too much

By Anonymous - 23/06/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My gifts were a stomach bug from my kid and a confession to a year-long affair from my (now soon-to-be-ex) husband of 21 years. Nobody even got me a card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 642

You deserved it 100

Happy Nothing

By Cheapass - 07/11/2021 02:00

Today, it’s my birthday. My boyfriend didn’t get me a present, or do anything special for me, because, “The rent’s paid, you have a fridge full of groceries… What more do you want?” Later on, he asked me why did I, “look so sad?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 381

You deserved it 290

By Deaf Dumb & Blonde - 01/09/2016 21:17 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I told my boyfriend I wanted to feel special even if for just one day. He said he would do the laundry for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 534

You deserved it 2 214

By salt. - 28/02/2012 22:04 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom." That's how he put it, anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 182

You deserved it 2 634

By reallyman__639 - 13/12/2011 12:26 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 563

You deserved it 17 509

By Mazzam - 19/11/2008 11:33 - France

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 282

You deserved it 18 567

BreynHope 11

Sunday 22 September 2013 2:43

Nothing says happy birthday like a clean asshole. Take it all in stride.

BlesstheSilence 11

Sunday 22 September 2013 2:45

Swiggity swooty he's coming for that booty!

Comments

djxerxes9000 18

Sunday 22 September 2013 2:50

I guess it's slightly better than a gift card for an anal bleaching.

Miaku 11

Sunday 22 September 2013 2:53

Weird.

marcranger 28

Sunday 22 September 2013 2:53

Please tell me you called it a "crappy gift" on purpose, OP!

The_9th_Doctor 18

Sunday 22 September 2013 2:54

it's anal time all the time

nikkiluvzglen 16

Sunday 22 September 2013 2:55

Maybe it's a sign

ShoyuSauceSoup 26

Sunday 22 September 2013 2:55

I guess it's his way to say to you that he wants to try new things...

jhn122 3

Sunday 22 September 2013 2:58

He is looking out for your health.

garrettsmiley45 1

Sunday 22 September 2013 2:58

It's because we wants his dong up your back hoo hah

Enslaved 36

Sunday 22 September 2013 2:59

With boyfriends like that who needs enemas? :P

goth_pixie 15

Sunday 22 September 2013 3:00

It's the thought that counts, right?

FlyingPie 17

Sunday 22 September 2013 16:09

Even if the thought is anal sex?

Keywords

Relatable Shoes Miscellaneous Clothes Insurance Transportation Cars Work Health Cheating Love Clumsy Food Awkward Embarrassing Animals Dating First Dates Bikes Cute Dogs Pranks Ironic Shopping Texting Mistakes Family Fight Birthday Drunk

The Top

Today, I was on an Easyjet flight, next to two attractive girls, listening to a track which starts with a woman pleasuring herself. I don't like this track so I go to skip it but accidentally unplug my headphones, activating my phone speakers and revealing the said woman at the peak of her orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 055

You deserved it 56 739

Today, I hosted a New Year’s Eve party, but everyone left at 11:45 PM to go to another party because "it sounded more fun." I rang in the new year alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 112

The Top

Today, I asked my parents if I could borrow one of their three cars for the second time this year. They said no, suggesting that maybe I should consider buying my own car. This would be fair, if it wasn't for my sister borrowing their cars several times a week, without any disapproval. FML

I agree, your life sucks 972

You deserved it 123

Today, I got marinara sauce on my new white shirt. I went in my desk for my Tide-To-Go pen and started using it on the spot. Turns out orange highlighters look a lot like Tide-To-Go pens when you don't look closely enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 585

You deserved it 50 580

Today, I was hanging out with my neighbor. He asked me if I wanted to play Twister, and I said no because I thought it would be weird. What was his response? "C'mon. You can leave if it gets sexual". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 458

You deserved it 2 189

Today, I discovered that you can vomit hard enough to break a rib and tear a ligament. Why was I barfing so violently? The stray cat I'm feeding has given me worms. I found one during "down there cleanup" time. I got laughed at by EMS, nurses, doctors, and my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 612

You deserved it 543

Today, my school's theater production was canceled. Not because of budget, but because my co-star fell in love with me and asked me out. When I pointedly declined, he refused to act alongside me since it was "awkward." Everyone's blaming me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 034

You deserved it 2 838

Today, I caught my roommate trying to use my flashlight as a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 297

You deserved it 4 482

Thanks, I guess…

Same thing different taste

It's all too much

Happy Nothing

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