Sex, Poopoo peepee and Intimacy: This is shit

This is shit

By Anonymous - 03/01/2011 01:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I realised it takes me longer to take a dump than it does to have sex with my boyfriend. I also realised taking a dump is more satisfying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 809

You deserved it 6 580

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Same thing different taste

By turdburger - 02/09/2009 05:56 - Australia

Today, I noticed my wife makes more satisfied groans when she's taking a big dump than she does when we make love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 182

You deserved it 7 110

Quickie

By cantgetitupcantgetiton - 14/01/2010 01:02 - United States

Today, I realized that the amount of time it takes my boyfriend to get an erection takes longer than the actual sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 431

You deserved it 3 244

To each their own

By Anonymous - 08/10/2019 18:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, taking a piss still gives me more pleasure than masturbation or sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 736

You deserved it 294

By Anonymous - 16/09/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, I realized my job is so boring that I spend most of my time trying to take a dump than actually working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 625

You deserved it 6 752

By Username - 06/02/2011 00:10 - United States

Today, I realized I get more pleasure from a tampon than my boyfriend I have been having sex with for the past six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 032

You deserved it 7 253

By Helseac - 17/12/2018 03:00

Today, I noticed my husband makes better sex sounds on the toilet then he does with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 750

You deserved it 457

Today, on Dr. Phil…

By Anonymous - 23/09/2019 18:00

Today, I realized that masturbating to pictures of my girlfriend is better than having sex with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 925

You deserved it 478

First time

By Anonymous - 13/03/2021 23:30 - United Kingdom - Gloucester

Today, I had sex for the first time. I realised that I was more satisfied by last night's dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 171

You deserved it 261

Classic

By horriblegf - 26/02/2011 12:18 - United States

Today, I realized it feels better when I sneeze than when my boyfriend and I have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 660

You deserved it 5 959

By TheDumper - 21/06/2012 10:02 - United States - Chandler

Today, and for the last week, I've resorted to driving myself to the nearest corner store to take my daily dump. I'm doing this because I recently moved in with my boyfriend, and I'm afraid he'll be disgusted at how often I clog the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 209

You deserved it 30 098

suckmyassitsmell 0

Monday 3 January 2011 9:04

Someone is ready for anal!

suckmyassitsmell 0

Monday 3 January 2011 9:23

Too bad this is fake. Girls don't shit. The poop fairy comes and takes it directly from their lower digestive tracts with her magic wand.

Comments

crimson_alize 2

Tuesday 4 January 2011 3:32

wow. A girl saying how perfectly more satisfying it is than sex must be super lesbian. Hav fun with justin bieber, lezbatron.

dajon221 0

Tuesday 4 January 2011 4:39

wow u toasted that shit

bonnie_vb8 5

Tuesday 4 January 2011 8:04

I totally wanted to know that. ew

filthyfrith 0

Friday 29 July 2011 17:28

great comment couldn't agree more :) cute photo too :)

elisewilloughby 0

Tuesday 4 January 2011 8:05

Freaks…

towboatdude 0

Tuesday 4 January 2011 15:41

sounds like you need a little anal action then. if it feels good taking a dump

cbr1000 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 5:09

wow

paganboy666 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 5:59

how " lady like" lol

foolishgirl 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 7:24

its called **** sweetie ;)

johnnie254 7

Wednesday 5 January 2011 8:25

have anal sex since you like ******** so much!

r0m4n 0

Sunday 9 January 2011 7:28

uhm? what girl says that they took a dump? thats discusting!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, at school, I was trying to pee in the stall, but I couldn't. I repeatedly pushed my bladder. Unfortunately, I didn't realize a number of things. My stall was open, I made noises from frustration, and I looked like I was jacking off. When I gave up, somebody clapped and yelled, "FINALLY!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 020

You deserved it 51 377

Today, I was walking on the track when this really cute guy shows up. I was hot and sweaty, and wanted to impress him by pouring water on myself. Instead of being turned on, all he saw was me wiping my face on my shirt screaming. It wasn't water, I forgot I had brought Sprite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 771

You deserved it 103 435

The Top

Today, I took my new girl out on a date after work. Ten minutes later, my ex-wife, her new boyfriend and my daughter showed up at the same restaurant and decided a double date would be fun. My ex lives an hour away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 429

You deserved it 170

Today, my roommate called me, but she's a cunt so I ignored her. A few hours later, I found out her mom and dad were in a serious car accident and she needed a ride to go see them at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 006

You deserved it 32 280

Today, my daughter brought home her class hamster for the weekend. It escaped and we spent hours searching for it. We later found it in the fridge, eating our leftover pizza. I never knew hamsters had such a refined palate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 178

Today, there was a huge spider on my ceiling, so I grabbed a shoe to deal with it. Just as I jumped up to smush it, my idiot brother flicked the light off. I missed the spider, but it didn't miss my face as the impact caused it to fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 616

You deserved it 2 686

Today, I found out my husband of 10 years has a online blog. Excited to read about myself, I began skimming, only to find out that every entry is him explaining how he let his "soulmate" walk away 9 years ago because of his "previous commitment" and how he regrets it every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 118

You deserved it 3 632

Today, I'm apparently on a "thinking ban." My wife and kids have banned me from starting any sentence with, “I think“ because it always leads to some sort of disaster, or accident, or expensive mistake, etc. So I'm no longer allowed to think because me thinking is dangerous for everybody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 855