Sex, Relatable, Awkward and Intimacy: Thorough check

Thorough check

By Anonymous - 24/01/2014 23:34 - United States - Akron

Today, as my boyfriend went to go down on me, he felt it necessary to stop at my stomach and clean the lint out of my belly button. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 854

You deserved it 23 969

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Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

Dirty talk

By unlucky_number13 - 14/07/2009 09:41 - United States

Today, my crush came over and we began to fool around. He started to kiss my stomach, and just when I was getting into it, he pulled away with a disgusted look on his face, wiped his mouth, and said, "We'll continue this when you get rid of all your bellybutton lint." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 912

You deserved it 62 739

Smell test

By smellybelly - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend of two years kept digging around in his belly button and smelling his fingers. At one point he shoved his fingers in my face and told me to smell his belly button. He's 27 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 591

You deserved it 4 726

By unattractive - 18/12/2010 09:32 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick his nose for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 538

You deserved it 6 364

By Anonymous - 17/07/2019 22:00

Today, when my boyfriend came to bed, I rolled over and watched as he used his pinky to clean out both nostrils, then eat it what he found. He’s almost 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 749

You deserved it 294

By HaleyIsabelle - 08/03/2010 20:54 - France

Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 462

You deserved it 3 712

By Anonymous - 25/01/2011 00:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend had to give me an enema. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 351

You deserved it 4 404

By C0r1nn3 - 07/06/2012 04:02 - United States - Santa Clara

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 841

You deserved it 5 087

By Crashburn - 16/01/2012 11:09 - United Kingdom

Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 872

You deserved it 15 390

By Anonymous - 19/06/2012 03:33 - United States

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 421

You deserved it 4 625

What a Q-tip

By Anonymous - 25/06/2013 16:21 - United States - Flowery Branch

Today, I heard my boyfriend making the same noises while cleaning out his ears as the ones he makes whenever we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 545

You deserved it 6 494

person961 9

Saturday 25 January 2014 5:20

Can't get mad at a man for trying to take care of his lady

WCARlover 34

Saturday 25 January 2014 5:21

Dang girl if you have a chance of getting intimate, I'd suggest you groom yourself haha

Comments

dreadbeat69 12

Saturday 25 January 2014 6:24

I don't see why people are talking shit. Some shirts leave a lot of lint. OP probably was wearing one and he took it off her when they got intimate.

nchic01 17

Saturday 25 January 2014 6:27

nice of him

Emibelle_fml 20

Saturday 25 January 2014 6:37

At least he didn't eat it.

tuffykat 8

Saturday 25 January 2014 6:52

that is so gross and the fact he did it without puking..you gotta marry him!!

worldclassrager 39

Saturday 25 January 2014 7:37

It shows he cares but ew...

1947Chevy 17

Saturday 25 January 2014 7:46

I assume he has OCD

Ambient25 24

Saturday 25 January 2014 7:50

no but he plays COD

ladydemoon 8

Saturday 25 January 2014 7:48

Ew.

MattAttack12 10

Saturday 25 January 2014 8:03

He was just warming up

mattatom17 10

Saturday 25 January 2014 8:21

He is just cleaning up before he eat.

benpele101 13

Saturday 25 January 2014 8:30

he still went down on you though

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The Top

Today, I was in the shower having a little fun with the detachable shower head. I didn’t know anyone else was home until I heard a toilet flush and scalding hot water flooded my cooch. I think I need to go to the ER, but I’m too embarrassed to ask for a ride there. I can’t walk or sit properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 549

You deserved it 618

Today, my grandmother has been complaining that I spend too much on food, so I started cooking food from scratch. I happily showed her my recipe book and encouraged her to try a few. She then mocked me for wasting time by not buying frozen food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 869

You deserved it 3 514

The Top

Today, I tutored a kid for two hours, for $25 an hour. When it came time for them to pay, my mother told the kid's parents that they could give me ten bucks for the whole thing. She does this a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 151

You deserved it 773

Today, I spent 3 hours washing my hands to get the pony out of the soap bar. I'm 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 652

You deserved it 55 424

Today, I bought an iPhone SE, so my mom decided to sell my old iPhone 5 on Craigslist. Since the 5 and SE look exactly the same, she ended up selling my SE instead of the 5 for $100. The buyer refuses to give it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 029

You deserved it 2 122

Today, I came home to find that my sweet kitten had gotten out and dragged a bird inside, where he ripped it to shreds. I found the bird's head in my underwear drawer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 777

You deserved it 506

Today, one of the guys I work with ran his finger down the back of my shirt and said, "Just checking to see if you're wearing a bra today". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 292

You deserved it 3 189

Today, I was given a new trainee at work. It was the conniving skank who screwed my brother-in-law and ruined my sister’s marriage. When I refused to train her, I was written up and sent home, while the home wrecking whore just smirked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 236