Miscellaneous: Today, after getting rear ended by a car, I texted my husband...

By Mariah Heimann - 15/12/2011 03:34 - United States

Today, after getting rear ended by a car, I texted my husband to let him know I was in the hospital. His response? "I'm at Taco Bell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 118

You deserved it 3 382

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Same thing different taste

By Jimseagoon - 03/09/2018 20:30

Today, my wife took me to Taco Bell for the first time. I said, "Isn't this where all those FMLs happen to people?" She said, "You'll be fine." I am writing this from the toilet. I am not fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 851

You deserved it 443

By Anonymous - 18/08/2016 20:44 - United States - High Point

Today, while driving to a client's home, I received a text. Since I loathe those who text and drive, I pulled into a convenience store's parking lot. While I was texting, a car sped into the lot, rear-ending my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 344

You deserved it 1 139

It was the painkillers, I swear

By laurenh211 - 17/11/2020 17:02 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband came home from the hospital after having painful surgery, so I decided to make him a nice big breakfast. As I was taking it up to him, I heard a message on the phone. It was from one of his nurses. She was accepting his offer of a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 287

You deserved it 85

By anonymouss - 24/05/2009 22:14 - United States

Today, I collided heads at a soccer game and needed 13 stitches in my head. I texted all my contacts to let them know I was in the hospital. I got back one response that said "bitch got what you deserve" it was from my cousin. No one else ever texted me back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 558

You deserved it 26 371

By man - 08/05/2009 21:46 - United States

Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 373

You deserved it 10 388

Supportive

By Anonymous - 28/09/2022 13:00 - United Kingdom - Bury

Today, I was involved in a car crash. When I told him, my boyfriend was more interested in what he was going to have for lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 131

By anon - 31/12/2012 18:13 - United States - Gilroy

Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 243

You deserved it 3 143

By KobraKommander - 17/03/2010 11:51 - France

Today, I rear-ended a car while I was texting about the accident ahead which was causing all the traffic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 510

You deserved it 92 596

By OH COME ON - 29/12/2011 15:48 - United States

Today, I texted my boyfriend on the way to the hospital to tell him I needed stitches, after my brother's dog bit me on the breast. His response? "Pics or it didn't happen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 758

You deserved it 5 556

By anon - 21/06/2014 12:50 - United States - Edison

Today, I got hit by a car while walking into the hospital to visit my wife, who had also gotten hit by a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 928

You deserved it 4 860

KristantheGreat 5

Thursday 15 December 2011 8:52

tell him to bring you a taco.

WCARlover 34

Thursday 15 December 2011 8:52

Haha well you were cutting in on the mans meal time!

Comments

Angieboo227 0

Thursday 15 December 2011 14:26

Lmao I'm sorry, but that's funny!!!

Ecstasy_Trip_Ple 1

Thursday 15 December 2011 14:32

taco bell ftw.

robokid777 4

Thursday 15 December 2011 15:00

TAQUITOES

thamack408 11

Thursday 15 December 2011 15:06

good respond :D

ErinBeam 1

Thursday 15 December 2011 15:13

FYL dude. He gets to eat Taco Bell while you are stuck eating hospital. Sorry OP

ErinBeam 1

Thursday 15 December 2011 15:15

*hospital food

Twi_lover_EC 6

Thursday 15 December 2011 15:25

Is it bad that out of all the fml's I only laughed at this one?

reldnahceus 8

Thursday 15 December 2011 15:33

Sounds like my husband... :(

yourlifesfucked 0

Thursday 15 December 2011 15:34

Hey, he was just trying to explain that he was going to the hospital with food poisoning soon anyway, and he would meet you there.

VoteForTaco 8

Thursday 15 December 2011 16:16

Don't disturb a man and his taco-time :)

babydiamond_fml 9

Thursday 15 December 2011 16:37

U know ur husband better, maybe when he's hungry he doesn't think straight.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 127

You deserved it 3 083

Today, I caught my husband of 13 years looking at other women in Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 420

The Top

Can you name the movie before the timer runs out?

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 130

Today, while getting my hair done, I was annoyed that the beautician was not paying attention while straightening my hair. After asking her three times to watch what she was doing, I grabbed the iron and said "let me do it, you're going to burn me!". I then burned two layers of skin off my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 744

You deserved it 113 263

Today, I was finally diagnosed with insomnia. The trouble is, because of my physical disability, I also have diagnosed chronic fatigue. Barely can stay awake during the day, can't sleep at night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 91

Today, I was on the treadmill at the gym, when I felt my pants start slipping. I tried to pull them up, but lost my balance and fell face-first onto the floor. When I go to my wedding tomorrow, half the guests will probably think I've exchanged my fiancé for Chris Brown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 460

You deserved it 4 661

Today, I bought variety condoms. I chose one called "Endurance" thinking it would be extra strong, put it on him, and gave it a suck. I realised my mistake when my lips and mouth went numb. It has benzocaine on to delay him. I still can't feel my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 263

You deserved it 3 953

Today, my puppy celebrated a milestone by lifting his leg to pee for the first time. Too bad it was up against my brand new soft fabric couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 643

You deserved it 183

Same thing different taste

It was the painkillers, I swear

Supportive

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