By DocBastard - 17/12/2011 02:29 - United States

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 423
You deserved it 6 543

DocBastard tells us more.

DocBastard 38

Akai, the only people who say that are people who don't have kids. My 2 children are the most precious things in my world, and I've smiled more since my daughter was born than in all my previous years combined. I truly feel sorry for people who think like you.

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Top comments

every1luvsboners 11

You do seem to be in quite a jam. I would definitely call a toe-truck. Holy Shat it's Doc!!!

244 9
talldude4u 3

Remember those parrots that repeat what you say, small children are very much like them.

150 4

Comments

RainbowHeadache 2

It's an interesting story to tell her when she's older? I find it really difficult to stifle a cuss when I hurt myself that badly. Hope your toe feels better soon, Doc.

31 1
desireev 17

I know it's kinda creepy but you're the first person I've seen that is from Oklahoma as well!! Relieved to know I'm not the only Okie out there!

2 22
sammyjanette 17

At least you're a doctor and you can get that broken toe fixed up right away! On the rest though FYL.

23 2
awagh666 14

Nope, he can't fix that toe himself even if he is "THE DOC." Doc's expertise is the pelvic region.

18 4
sammyjanette 17

I was just saying that the broken toe can be dealt with. I mean he's a doctor who undoubtedly knows other doctors who can sort him out. But, making his daughter's first word not be ****...now that's a bit harder to deal with! :)

4 16
MedKits 9

Hahaha, you guys know that DocBastard is a trauma surgeon right?

33 0
ohmandapants 16

You can't "fix" a broken toe. It's not like a toy or something. It has to heal over time

11 6
ilovemydog98 8

50 - He is a trauma surgeon and a really good one, based on his blog stories that I've read. I'm sure he can take care of it himself. The Docbastard - At least you have access to pain meds ;) and it's not like you said it on purpose... I called my mom a fucktard when I was two. She'll get over it :)

11 1
upyourzlolz 11

Wait until she learns "mama" and starts using those words in sentences.

29 1
OCDC 9

Might as well even out her vocabulary. Teach her "shit" as well. That should impress her teachers when she starts school.

18 2
Falalala243 0

Doc !!! :) Didn't have to read the fml, though i did, I knew it would be amazing! haha :)

12 5
melimeli628 10

On the bright side: aww she learned her first word. On the not so bright side: your wife is going to have a cow xD

2 18
SamCat 21

*wondering what perdix comment will be* :)

7 16
maryam8869 7

That how it goes with kids :) she will grow up and you cant imagine how fast that would be .. days are running

1 6
desireev 17

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3 21