By DocBastard - 17/12/2011 02:29 - United States

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 422
You deserved it 6 543

DocBastard tells us more.

DocBastard 38

Akai, the only people who say that are people who don't have kids. My 2 children are the most precious things in my world, and I've smiled more since my daughter was born than in all my previous years combined. I truly feel sorry for people who think like you.

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Top comments

every1luvsboners 11

You do seem to be in quite a jam. I would definitely call a toe-truck. Holy Shat it's Doc!!!

244 9
talldude4u 3

Remember those parrots that repeat what you say, small children are very much like them.

150 4

Comments

MrSexyPants 14

Well at least you'll know how to fix any of the minor wounds your wife may cause you.

8 1
cheriloowho 0

Don't feel so bad. My toddlers favourite word is "shit"

3 14
TheDrifter 23

If your wife is as "understanding" about such things as mine, you may wish to volunteer for double shifts for a week or so.

7 0
fightingkittens 39

Ah, DocBastard. Finally you have an FML of your own published. We should celebrate.

32 4
omarzrgz 3

Who's the hell is doc??

3 45
CoDandBlowjobs 8

If we told you...we would have to kill you

5 1
mauguster 15

Now your pic is x-ray of your foot?

21 1
forkscop 0

No it's a pic of a **** ring on one of his patients. I know because I read his blog he writes about his medical stories.

10 3
upyourzlolz 11

Oh thank you. I thought I was the only one, which made me feel like a creeper.

8 1
bearnblue 0

Your daughter is 2 and hasn't spoken her first word yet?

0 43
iRuleUdrool 4

No, she's one, and knows one word...

26 1
DocBastard 38

Actually she's now 5 and can apparently read better than you.

61 0
Googolman 29

Doc, may I ask when the events of the FML in question has taken place, because you posted your FML and that comment in the same year, and in the FML your daughter is 1, where in comment, your daughter is 5.

10 2
PeachyJinx 7

Dude. "Aww sweetie what's wrong? Why are you crying? What do you want?" "****" (•_•;)....

16 1
xDefiant 4

Hah. I'm having a hard time watching what I say already with my 8 month old. It is hard when you've said certain words for so long and now have to constantly censor yourself.

4 1