Intimacy: Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend,...

By anonymaiacciu - 22/12/2012 01:16 - France

Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 805

You deserved it 8 964

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Same thing different taste

Make your mind up!

By nextcontestant16 - 19/11/2012 15:12 - United States

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by waking him up with a blowjob, because he had always told me that it was a sexy fantasy of his. When he finally woke up, he got pissed off, rudely accused me of interrupting his beauty sleep, then soundly lay back down and fell asleep again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 596

You deserved it 5 125

By cockfist - 04/03/2014 22:41 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I spent my first night at my boyfriend's place, and my first night sleeping beside him. I woke up in the early hours to him holding me and muttering in his sleep something like "surprise fisting". I'm beyond terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 231

You deserved it 6 716

That was quick

By Anonymous - 09/09/2012 12:03 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 569

You deserved it 6 833

By Anonymous - 01/04/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 732

You deserved it 36 359

The Great Pretender

By CJune24 - 22/10/2014 21:24 - United Kingdom - Huddersfield

Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 539

You deserved it 5 452

By Anonymous - 06/10/2011 15:23 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 882

You deserved it 11 310

By meow - 14/01/2010 04:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 771

You deserved it 4 494

By Moeswifey - 24/10/2010 17:11 - United States

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making breakfast. I thought he was making it for me, so I sat at the table. When he walked over with his plate, he said, "Oh, I didn't know you were here!" I'd slept in the same bed with him last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 439

You deserved it 4 559

By ohfantastic - 25/01/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 696

You deserved it 2 385

By Soline - 08/12/2008 12:05 - France

Today, I wanted to wake up my sweetheart with a surprise blowjob. He surprised me as well with a knee to the stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 245

You deserved it 9 045

hockeychicl003 6

Saturday 22 December 2012 5:20

maybe your mustache felt like whiskers

pandachic27 9

Saturday 22 December 2012 5:21

Wait so does that mean his cat gives him oral?

Comments

TheWorldGreatest 8

Saturday 22 December 2012 5:49

That's plain terrible !

dan_in_wi 12

Saturday 22 December 2012 5:57

so... you have a sandpaper tounge?

newburton13 26

Saturday 22 December 2012 6:00

...so what does the cat do?

Rukkus92 16

Saturday 22 December 2012 6:01

I hope OP was just having a strange dream and his cat doesn't do this on a regular basis.

barefootchic 6

Saturday 22 December 2012 6:07

Lets be realistic, I feel like it could have startled anyone. He did want you to go on at least?

Obey_StudBoii 23

Saturday 22 December 2012 6:07

I would love it if my gurl woke me up like that lol.

kathryn14 19

Saturday 22 December 2012 6:11

That's... Awesome

blanccamaro74 6

Saturday 22 December 2012 6:16

I fail to see the problem

spikekutter 9

Saturday 22 December 2012 7:00

hey, what can i say? ******* love oral..

KM96 24

Saturday 22 December 2012 7:05

Ummm here's hoping his cat hasn't done it previously ....

Keywords

Family Miscellaneous DIY Cats Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Management Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Transportation Dogs Animals ADHD Dating Love Mental health Health Anxiety Technology Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy AITA Confused Parents

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I agree, your life sucks 52 050

You deserved it 4 158

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I agree, your life sucks 30 256

You deserved it 3 399

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I agree, your life sucks 35 003

You deserved it 14 141

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Same thing different taste

Make your mind up!

That was quick

The Great Pretender

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