Miscellaneous: Today, as I was taking out the trash, I spotted my cute neighbor...

By rholt - 14/01/2014 06:48 - United States - Baldwin City

Today, as I was taking out the trash, I spotted my cute neighbor doing the same. In a rush to get out before he went back inside, I slipped on my iced-over porch. I passed out and woke up with a note on my chest saying, "I unlocked your door but you were too heavy to drag inside". FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 475

You deserved it 8 092

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Same thing different taste

Slippery

By Dana - 29/01/2010 18:59 - United States

Today, it was very windy and snowy and the neighborhood's garbage cans were blowing everywhere. I had already brought mine in and I saw my neighbor's being blown away. Thinking I'd be nice, I went out to pick it up. Just before I could however, the wind smashed it into me and I fell on the ice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 112

You deserved it 3 209

Don't just stand there!

By youlyingjerk - 01/02/2010 02:12 - United States

Today, I slipped on my icy front porch, fell back, and hit my head on the step. I tried to get up, but lost my balance and fell halfway into the bush next to the steps. I then looked up to see my very hot, British, ex-Special Forces next door neighbor laughing so hard he dropped his snow shovel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 567

You deserved it 3 502

By Anonymous - 19/01/2010 09:34 - United States

Today, as I was walking home, I felt my feet slip out from under me and I face-planted in the slushy, dirty, melting snow. I rolled over, completely soaked, and attempted to get up, thinking no one saw me. A mail-man then passed me without offering to help, and said, "I've seen worse." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 405

You deserved it 3 040

By lolographic24 - 13/02/2010 13:44 - Norway

Today, it was my turn to take out the trash. While walking to the dumpster, I slip and fall. It doesn't really hurt, so I get up and go to the dumpster, but the top is frozen stuck. It won't budge. Then I really pull with a lot of force, and the lid swings open and busts my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 347

You deserved it 4 152

Just corpsing

By Anonymous - 07/01/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I took a nap on my couch. I woke up three hours later to my neighbor knocking on my door, asking if I was OK because looking from the outside in, they thought I was dead. Guess I sleep like I’ve been hit by a truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 94

By Triple F - 07/03/2009 17:16 - United States

Today, I laced up my fabulous new boots and walked outside to find my hot neighbor, with whom I carpool every morning. I struck a pose, feeling quite confident. Upon taking my first step down the stairs, I fell forward. I woke up an hour later with 7 stitches in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 189

You deserved it 40 328

Neighborly

By Michael McMike - 11/02/2025 20:00 - Canada - Whitehorse

Today, as I always do when we get a lot of snow, I shovelled the snow off my elderly neighbor’s driveway. I slipped and fell into a snowbank, breaking my collarbone, and she had to call 911 to help me out because I couldn't snow angel my way up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 55

By Never Work With Animals or Children - 26/05/2012 11:06 - United States - Van Nuys

Today, I ran out of the house after my dog, tripped and knocked myself out on the railing by the front step. I woke up to my little brother lifting up the back of my dress for the neighborhood to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 218

You deserved it 2 637

Nice, thanks!

By somnolence - 17/09/2016 21:20 - United States - Beaverton

Today, I wanted to take a nap after cleaning my apartment, so I put the trash outside the front door and put a note on the door for my roommate, saying, "Please take the trash out when you leave for work." When I woke up, the note was gone but the trash was still there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 389

You deserved it 1 992

By anonymous - 16/10/2010 15:18 - Canada

Today, I was walking to school. I started running to catch up with my friend. I yelled her name, and she turned around in time to watch me slip on a sheet of ice, fall face first, and pass out. When she ran to my side, I unconsciously peed on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 388

You deserved it 4 312

Haduken 16

Tuesday 14 January 2014 19:20

At least you already had ice for that burn

adrianh1090 12

Tuesday 14 January 2014 19:19

At least he was nice.

Comments

Merylwen 24

Tuesday 14 January 2014 19:37

So he just left you there, unconscious? When you had probably hit your head and could have needed emergency medical care?

Ihavegas 22

Tuesday 14 January 2014 19:38

BURN!!

bitchimabunnyz33 13

Tuesday 14 January 2014 19:39

OP thats so romantic ♡

dachayke 16

Thursday 16 January 2014 6:25

I think you're on the wrong post. Scratch that, wrong website.

October3461 12

Tuesday 14 January 2014 19:39

at least he attempted to help but either way don't let his comment make you feel like you're fat he could just be too weak op

weveallbeenthere 30

Tuesday 14 January 2014 19:41

lose weight

mzdaisylynn 12

Tuesday 14 January 2014 19:45

I would have called 9-1-1 if my neighbor slipped and passed out!

israelnotjacob 20

Tuesday 14 January 2014 20:30

As would most even half-decent people.

N_i_c_o_l_a_s__ 4

Tuesday 14 January 2014 19:47

FAAATTTTTYYYY

Dthsapprntc 23

Tuesday 14 January 2014 19:50

Life without FML? Oh, the horror.

stupidbox 9

Tuesday 14 January 2014 19:53

wait...if you were passed out that long for him to write a note and all,why didn't he call an ambulance?

buttcramp 21

Tuesday 14 January 2014 19:54

since he tried to help, maybe theres still hope!

Keywords

Awkward Sleep Miscellaneous Television Love Weddings Money Annoying Transportation Relatable Snow Kids Family Pregnancy Mental health Empathy Toxic Food Gamers Argument Cats Animals Valentine's Day Gross Health Homeowners Home improvement Babysitter Drugs Music

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 1 292

You deserved it 408

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I agree, your life sucks 21 262

You deserved it 123 072

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 17 748

You deserved it 38 704

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I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 332

Today, I overheard two classmates wondering who Joan of Arc was. They agreed among themselves that she had to be the wife of Noah. We're in college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 738

You deserved it 1 111

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I agree, your life sucks 14 872

You deserved it 57 073

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I agree, your life sucks 44 797

You deserved it 6 855

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I agree, your life sucks 35 375

You deserved it 8 942