50 shades

There are few absolutes about human sexuality in general. But most of us can be described in only a few words like 100% heterosexual, though I doubt OP is really that. Unless he has alcohol problems and does wildly out of character things when drunk.

I'm at least 40% not gay

Actually studies have shown that drunk people do not vary their behavior wildly while drunk. For example if you wouldn't kick a dog sober you won't do it drunk. But if you would consider suck a dick sober you will consider and possibly attempt it drunk. OPs inhibitions were down due to the alcohol but he had to of at least thought about doing it before

I'm not saying that he hasn't thought of doing something like that while sober, I'm just saying that I'm not going to judge his sexuality based on one drunken story. Haven't you heard those stories about people who beat the shit out of bushes when they're drunk?

I can't imagine they would consider beating the shit out of bushes when they're sober. (Sorry about the multi comment. I ran out of room.)

For better reason than why you commented.

I'm pretty sure there are still a couple things that are extremely taboo, even on FML.