Work: Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly... - FML

FML for mobile
Free

Open in app

By Anonymous - 19/01/2013 00:26 - Iceland

Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 445

You deserved it 15 607

Fête de la Musique: Notes et Négligences
When melodies meet misadventures, the Fête de la Musique becomes a symphony of laughter! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/01/2015 05:34

Today, I did my first night of open-mic standup. The first 5 minutes went badly, but I don't know if it got any better afterwards, because a drunk audience member climbed up on stage and knocked me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 351

You deserved it 3 985

By Anonymous - 22/01/2012 08:25 - United States

Today, I was kicked out of a comedy club for laughing too loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 124

You deserved it 7 994

By sucker and suckatash/say don't spray - 17/07/2013 10:06 - United States - Pearl City

Today, I was doing stand-up comedy at open mic. The guy I like started laughing, but before I hit my punch line. Apparently, when I was speaking, I was occasionally spitting, and in the very bright light it was easy to see my spit hitting people in the face. They kept a tally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 002

You deserved it 6 700

By Sarri - 18/02/2014 02:13 - United States - Pembroke

Today, I worked up the courage to sing at an open mic night. I lost my cool halfway through because all I could hear was laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 422

You deserved it 5 414

Too challenging for you? That's my job! I'm an edgy comedian!

By Anonymous - 08/02/2023 00:00

Today, I was feeling down so my husband took me to a comedy show. This comedian saw me, heckled me for a full two minutes, then returned to me a further three times during his act to mock me again, zeroing in on every one of my insecurities until I left crying, feeling worse than ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 647

You deserved it 178

Hack

By Anonymous - 13/04/2015 15:23 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, my son invited me to his first standup comedy gig. I accepted, only to later suffer through an hour of the worst jokes I've heard in my entire life. It was so bad, he made Dane Cook look like a comic genius, and I had to resist heckling him. Hours later, I still feel vaguely suicidal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 943

You deserved it 6 048

Chill out, dude

By Anonymous - 01/02/2017 18:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was lectured about how emotionally immature I am by someone who, afterwards, promptly threw a chair out of anger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 165

You deserved it 556

By northernlass - 20/09/2010 04:47 - United States

Today, I was singing and playing keyboards with my band on stage at a club. A drunken chick from the crowd tried to climb up onto the stage in her heels, fell, and grabbed the back of my mic stand to catch herself. And busted me in the mouth with my own microphone. Then she requested a song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 942

You deserved it 2 679

Performative

By OliviaO - 24/12/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I laughed so hard at a joke that I snorted, which caused me to choke on my Coke, which then caused me to fall off my chair. The joke wasn’t even that funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 210

You deserved it 269

Been there, done that

By Anonymous - 13/11/2024 03:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I confidently told a joke at a party, only to completely butcher the punchline. Everyone still laughed… at me instead of the joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 327

Next

Top comments

UnearthlyEnemy 9

Saturday 19 January 2013 5:08

Harsh crowd. Maybe you should try another gig, another place, another crowd. It'll hit eventually! Keep trying.

Lennes 12

Saturday 19 January 2013 5:09

It's difficult to speak in front of people, especially on a stage. Props to you. Most people don't have the guts for it.

Comments

SeepingSarcasm 7

Saturday 19 January 2013 7:35

Grab some puppets, shove your hand up their asses and give them some decent catch-phrases...or rather just keep silent, that crowd will kill you!

Pix3lJunk 12

Saturday 19 January 2013 7:47

I had a dog called Joke a car drove over it and Joke ends. Bu dum tsss... Dodge chair.

Shmatterhorn 38

Saturday 19 January 2013 10:09

But you get hit with the thumbs down for that extremely poor taste in humor.

xRezSynn 15

Saturday 19 January 2013 16:24

I'm guessing that's the point...hopefully.

buckdharma 37

Saturday 19 January 2013 7:55

You misread the crowd vibe! They wanted you to do your Clint Eastwood empty chair routine.

victus 14

Saturday 19 January 2013 17:28

so, Mr. President, how has your day been?

reynechristine 15

Saturday 19 January 2013 8:19

Sorry about that OP, people suck.

CueTheMusic 22

Saturday 19 January 2013 8:55

Happens to the best. Keep your spirits up and keep going, you'll get there one day. Plenty of now world famous comics say people thought they sucked at the beginning.

spikekutter 9

Saturday 19 January 2013 9:29

thats when you pick it up and throw it back at them and laugh..

Shmatterhorn 38

Saturday 19 January 2013 10:07

I can understand booing, but chair tossing is not good. I hope that that guy got himself tossed out of the club.

andyyroxx 20

Saturday 19 January 2013 10:14

And the memories of Spongebob flood my mind again...

alycion 38

Saturday 19 January 2013 12:01

Suddenly my habit of throwing shoes doesn't seem so bad. Thanks for finally proving the saying that everybody is a comedian wrong.

victus 14

Saturday 19 January 2013 17:31

do you throw your shoes or other people's shoes?

whY402Jay 12

Saturday 19 January 2013 13:04

Keep your day job or work on your presentation.

1
2
3
4
5
6

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Management Work Bosses Texting Love Break-ups Weird Language Awkward Religion Delivery Food Vegan Keys Transportation Dating Facebook Social Media Geek Sex Cute Anxiety Shopping Dogs Animals Family Death I need your advice

The Top

Today, I work in a grocery store and a woman suffering from diarrhea somehow managed to get shit up and down two of the store aisles, then go to the ladies room and mess up the stall. I was the only one working trained in deal with bio-hazardous waste so I had to clean it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 124 883

You deserved it 9 172

Today, while visiting family, we went to a restaurant to eat. Towards the end of the meal, I went to use the restroom. When I came back, everyone was gone. Everyone had actually gotten into their cars and left without me. I have no idea where I am and no one is answering their phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 786

You deserved it 4 772

The Top

Today, for the third day in a row, I was taking care of my girlfriend's kid. I love him, but if I have to play one more game of "Stuffy Hide and Seek", I'm going to rip my hair out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 165

Today, I finally found our big casserole in the attic. Once the food was all nicely layered into it, I realized why it had been in the attic. It doesn't actually fit into our standard-sized oven. By a few millimeters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 286

Today, and since forever, my boyfriend talks in his sleep. Last night, he told me, “I like you very much, young man.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 633

You deserved it 60

Today, I'm sick with a stomach flu. For the last 5 hours, I've been going back and forth from the couch to the bathroom. Each time I get into the bathroom, I have to make a choice of whether to sit on the toilet or kneel by it. Each time I have to clean up the other mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 661

You deserved it 5 943

Today, I thought it would be hot if I sent my boyfriend kinky message. He didn't reply so I sent a few more. 10 minutes later I got a reply saying, "Honey, this is his mom and you should be a little less desperate." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 216

You deserved it 57 269

Today, I was in the kitchen with my mom, who is severely disabled and can barely walk. She suddenly slipped on a puddle of water, so I instinctively grappled her from behind to save her. It took me a moment to realize my hands were accidentally cupping her breasts. She then slipped again and took both of us down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 107