Intimacy: Today, at Walmart, I overheard a lady telling a teenage girl...

By Anonymous - 15/03/2015 17:54 - United States - Brandon

Today, at Walmart, I overheard a lady telling a teenage girl that the secret to keeping a guy for life is giving him anal, but that it's important to clean your "shitter" beforehand. I can't believe these kinds of sick freaks actually exist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 117

You deserved it 10 029

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By nicknick2 - 18/05/2011 16:08 - United States

Today, I was at Walmart with my mom, when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 082

You deserved it 3 918

It's true, though

By humiliated - 20/03/2016 11:54 - United Kingdom - London

Today, at the supermarket, I picked up a pack of toilet rolls, at which point my 5-year-old daughter turned to me and screamed, "A CLEAN BUTTHOLE IS A HAPPY BUTTHOLE!" in front of a dozen other people. I have no idea where she heard that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 143

You deserved it 2 362

People of Walmart

By Anonymous - 21/01/2015 14:34 - United States

Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life." I'm 26 and just very short. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 977

You deserved it 2 711

By Anonymous - 01/12/2011 03:11 - United States

Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 363

You deserved it 4 398

Kids these days…

By Anonymous - 07/02/2024 14:00

Today, as a nurse, I had to tell a 15 year-old girl that her red, sore asscrack was caused by consistently not wiping her ass properly. Seriously, when I examined her there was still poop, even though she swore she wiped this morning. I had to teach her how to do it properly, at 15 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 696

You deserved it 126

By um... what the fuck, miss? - 02/08/2013 20:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 804

You deserved it 6 145

Dumbass

By Anonymous - 15/11/2023 06:00

Today, I talked to a teenage girl that came in for debilitating constipation. Turns out she'd stopped drinking water and had been purposely holding her bowels because her new online boyfriend convince her it’s unattractive and unladylike for girls to poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 700

You deserved it 96

Pissed to meet you

By Anonymous - 09/08/2015 01:23 - United States

Today, at Walmart, a lady came up to me and informed me that I "look like the kinda skank that'd give it up on the first date". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 537

You deserved it 3 173

By super maman - 30/09/2014 03:08 - France - Montauban

Today, in a supermarket, my four-year-old son whispered to me, asking if the checkout lady was able to wash between her fat rolls. She heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 711

You deserved it 5 499

By wantontsu - 11/09/2010 18:59

Today, I had diarrhea in a Walmart bathroom for 15 minutes. Apparently, so did the guy in the stall next to me. He attempted to make small talk to pass the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 716

You deserved it 3 635

Willibobs 33

Monday 16 March 2015 0:17

Think 'sick freaks' is taking it a bit too far. I'm more offended by your judgement of them as opposed to their conversation.

WCARlover 34

Monday 16 March 2015 0:12

I really hope the teenager has some other person in her life to serve as a role model

Comments

usmc_sean 8

Monday 16 March 2015 8:57

Stay classy Florida

joshi42 16

Monday 16 March 2015 9:56

Hypocrite.

AngryBovine 14

Monday 16 March 2015 10:22

People like what they like. True they should have had the conversation elsewhere but still calling them sick freaks is a bit much.

amarie2009 22

Monday 16 March 2015 10:24

Anal is not sick, you either like it or you don't. No reason to judge others for liking it or talking about it.

Mr23 9

Monday 16 March 2015 11:13

At first I couldn't understand what the FML was, but then it hit me: OP has a mental disorder- he knows anal is fine but can't shake the emotional reaction. FYL, and hoping you get better. XOXO

Goblin182 26

Monday 16 March 2015 11:45

The secret to keeping a guy isn't to be the best **** he has ever had. Its making him believe he is hte best **** you ever had. What guy is going to walk out on that ego stroke?